jenrob

I am a 45 year old man. I don't think 16 is a good age to be getting serious with anyone. I have a daughter almost 16. But you didn't come to this site asking people to judge you. I think if he really loves you, he needs to end his marriage and then wait until you are 18 to continue this. I think age is just a number and I feel for you two. I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this.... Years ago when our great grandparents were alive an age gap of 20 or so years was common. When most people married people from their home town. I know a lot of 16 year olds that are mature and a lot of 35 year old woman that don't have a clue. So age doesn't matter. Your guy needs to end his current relationship then you two need to wait until you are old enough to make a rational decision. That may be 18 or 25. Just be careful! Don't turn this relationship into a physical one whatever you do! jenrob

One mistake you made is when she wanted to talk to you, you should have excused yourselves and talked to each other outside. A woman wants to be listened to more than anything. When a man does not allow a woman to talk and express herself it can cause hurt feelings. As far as the drinking, well I can understand that you don't want her to drink. By telling her she can't may make her want to do it more. Some woman especially when they are younger look to a bf almost like a father. If you tell her she can't do something she might just do it to show you she can and you are not in control! Hope that helps. jenrob

I posted a message a few weeks ago on this forum abut my Fiance and I fighting all the time over raising her kids. I am not sure if it's the kids we are fighting about or just that we can't get along. I have been with her for almost a year now. We have been living together for 10 months. Our fights are so intense that I have packed up and left for 1/2 a day until I realize I can't be without her. She told me a few weeks ago it's over and had me so convinced of that I packed up almost everything and left. She called me at work later that night and said she loved me and wanted us to work. Later she said she said she wanted it over to "Teach me a lesson" and to keep me from fighting with her. She seems to think I start all the fights, I feel she is at fault with some of the fights. Anyway I can't shake the feeling she is almost ready to quit now. She says I am "Projecting" and I say no, I am happy, but I am scared for us. She get's very upset and angry when I question her loyalty and love. She can't accept the fact when she said it was over and then later said she didn't mean that, but rather to teach me a lesson, the trust has been damaged, and I need her help to get that back. I remember when we met, her family, her kids friends said they havn't seen her that happy in their lives. Now I can hardly get her to smile! How can I tell if she really does care or if she is just scared to end it. Help!

For the most part I would say you were a little clingy. I know most men hate that in a woman. Men want their time alone and to be with friends and doing things on their own. I am in a relationship that is quite the opposite. She wants time alone all the time, and I want to be with her. My phychologist said if we can't agree on acceptable amounts of together time then we may not be a good match. Give your bf space, get involved with other things. Let hm come to you! If he doesn't then you will know he is not right for you. You have to have your needs filled also! jenrob

I am in a relationship with a woman that has three children. Two from a previous marriage and one from another relationship. When we first met a year ago, she said one of the biggest things she loved about me is I was good with her children. The children did not respect her or mind her then or now. They range from 8 years to 15 years old. The first several months the kids and my girlfriend was ok with the strict routine. We even took her 15 year old to counceling and his councelor approved everything I did. We recently rented an apartment together 90 miles from her hometown. Her 15 year old son basically took over the telephone, her computer and the internet connection. He would stay up until 2AM (On a school night) and talk long distance to a internet girlfriend 1500 miles away. He was not a good student in the first place, and would fall asleep in classes on a regular basis. I would tell my gf I can't have that, I needed some sort of order and dicipline. She would agree with me until he started giving her a rough time and bullying her when I was not home. He would generally do as he wanted and if she tried to put her foot down, he would just harass her and complain and whine. She eventually gave in. That would make me upset and we would argue that I am too strict with him! The other kids would whine and cry until they got their way also. I have two 15 year old kids that are on the Highest honor roll at their school. I was strict with them also. I am having trouble going from a house with order and disipline to a house of chaos and no order. This morning my GF called me at work (4AM) and asked if I had called just then. I said no. We decided it was her 15 year old's internet girlfriend. She calls pretty much anytime she wants. I told my girlfriend maybe her 15 year old should not be allowed to talk with his girlfriend until she can respect acceptable calling times. She got mad at me and said I can't hold HIM responsible! We almost got in a huge fight once again! She knows this behavior can't continue, but refuses to get on him and be consistant! HELP!!!!!