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Blue202020

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  1. For the past few years I’ve felt like I’ve lost my identity, I used to say that ‘I don’t feel like myself’ but now I don’t even know what myself is or what it’s supposed to feel like. I feel like I have no purpose here anymore, I just get through each day and week and I’m barely ever happy or excited about my life. I just see everyone around me doing well and having exciting things happen to them but I just never seem to make that progress myself. I just feel like I’m waiting for a train that’s never going to turn up. Think I’ve completely lost all my confidence and drive, I just feel so lost and lonely . Confused about who I am and where I’m going .
  2. Well we met up this week just the two of us . There was definitely a chemistry, she was smiling at me a lot, making lots of eye contact, I felt the same back and just wanted to listen to her all day. I said we should do it more often and she agreed. It sounds such a tiny step but I hope it’s moving in the right direction. We even touched on relationships generally in conversation and it seems we are both looking for something very similar.
  3. Yes that's right so we will be in same place once again. In fact we have now planned to meet up just the two of us this week, so small steps :)
  4. Thank you bluecastle for your advice. I think you're right in a way about the possibility that it's the idea of being in love with her that is making me feel so 'in love'. However I used to see this person several days every single week for 2 years before not seeing her for the last 2 years. In those prior 2 years is when I developed the feelings and just as I felt like it was the real love thing, life changed and we've been apart for the last two years. This is why I'm confused, I had very real 'in person' feelings, but then I've had 2 years of those feelings on standby, seeing her a a handful of times during that period and having my feelings confirmed each time I saw her. Now she's coming back into my life again soon and it's the approach that I'm stuck on. It's a case of do I attempt to move the relationship towards dating immediately as soon as we are together again, or do I go on as normal at first to see if the feelings are genuine and then move towards dating. As someone who has never been in any relationship and therefore has zero confidence I'm probably overcomplicating/overanalysing but she just means a lot to me and I don't think I've shown her that enough as I should. Again thanks for your advice :)
  5. I understand that seeing her with someone else after being turned down could be painful, but I would never end the friendship because of that, I'm not shallow and neither is she. Sure it could be awkward for a little while but I'm ok with that. I figure that being open, honest, and relaxed about it and sharing the feelings with her and working through whatever outcome is far better than axing her out of my life. I've thought on it for over two years and it's probably time to face the fear of rejection. She is a shy person and has never dated anyone, which I suppose makes it tricky to know how she would feel or respond. Is there anyone out there that has gone through with something similar and been successful? I know these things are 50/50 but I'd rather try to be positive and not cynical about it to prevent me talking myself out of the feelings that are very real.
  6. Thank you Wiseman2, you’re totally right. I have nothing but respect for her and I want her to be comfortable. When the moment comes I will be honest about how I feel and allow her feelings to decide how we move forwards whether it be together dating or just to continue as friends.
  7. Thank you for your reply. I do appreciate and understand your advice so thank you but I feel like it sounds like the classic ‘boys can’t be friends with girls’, which I feel is a little bit dated in my opinion. I know it depends on whether attraction is felt or not but I don’t believe that there is an ‘expiration date’, it is possible to work through these things, not so cut-throat as the ‘friendship has expired’, it isn’t black and white. I should clarify that myself and my friend that I feel in love with have barely seen each other over the course of the last few years, maybe 5/6 times during those two years. We saw each other weekly for three years prior to this and then life changed, but now she is about to start coming back into my life again. Maybe there’s an opportunity for us to properly reconnect. I understand the intuition aspect of a woman feeling when someone is attracted to them but I honestly don’t believe she knows at all, we always do things with another friend. In her perspective we always do things all together. The advice I really need is how to approach that one to one conversation with her. Just outright saying ‘I love you’ seems pretty daunting for her.
  8. Even if that’s the case, I would still like to give it a go. Like you said, a conversation..
  9. Thank you both I think you're right. My issue is that we both have the same friends and often if I ask to hang out with her she says yes but then says I'll ask 'insert friend' if they want to join too. I'm not sure how to turn it into a date properly.
  10. I'm 23 and male, I've been in love with my female best friend for about 2 years now. At first I put it down to being a crush and decided to ignore the feelings thinking that they would eventually fade away. I've tried dating apps but I found that every person I saw, I was comparing them against my friend. As time has gone on, I've realised that I am totally crazy about her, I truly feel in love with her inside and out. I've never been in a relationship before, I've also never asked anybody out in my life and I honestly just don't know what to do! Obviously I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have because it's a great one. But the fact that I can't stop thinking about her and the feelings I have for her tell me that I have to do something about telling her how I feel. I just really need some advice. Has anyone else been through this and can share some advice with me here? Thank you :)
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