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  1. Hi everyone. Yesterday I was about to check my emails when I realised that my boyfriend was still logged into gmail on my laptop from when he was using it at the weekend. I was about to log out so I could sign in and as my eyes glanced across the screen I noticed an email notification from only fans. For those of u who are unfamiliar with it, it is an an online website where people can sell nude images and videos of themselves. I wasn’t planning on looking through his emails but this surprised me and I was curious to see if there were many more emails from the site. I find out that he has been on the site since the start of this month. He has subscribed to two girls on it and has spent 23 dollars so far. The emails he gets are informing him that he has just received a message from these girls. Most of them seem like spam messages. I don’t think he really communicates with him much. I am okay with him watching porn and I know this is going to sound like I am contradicting myself but I feel like this isn’t right. He is individually choosing these girls and spending money on them. The fact that he has done this is quite upsetting and makes me feel really insecure when I can already give him what these girls have for free?! I plan on bringing it up with him when I see him at the weekend. I don’t know if I should be annoyed about this or not. I kind of wanted other opinions on the situation. I love him and I know he loves me but I find this a bit disrespectful. How would you react? Thanks for any opinions/ advice :)
  2. Hi everyone. So today I went to log on to my emails and realized that my boyfriend was still logged in to his account from when he was on my laptop at the weekend. I wasn't snooping through his mail but upon a glance at the screen I noticed an email notification from only fans informing him that a girl had sent him a message. For those of you who don't know what only fans is, it is an online platform where women can sell nude images and videos of themselves. Naturally this sparked my curiosity so I scrolled down a bit further to realize that he has been on this site since the start of October. He has subscribed to two girls on it and has spent 23 dollars so far. I don't think he has communicated much with them which is good. They seem to just be spam messages. I don't know how I should be feeling about this. We have been together almost 5 years and I thought that our relationship had been really good lately. I really love him and I know that he loves me too. I don't have an issue with him watching porn and I know this sounds like I am contradicting myself but the fact that he felt the need to sign up to this site and spend money on images of other women seems wrong to me. It seems more intimate to me and makes me feel really insecure when I know that I could give him what he is looking for. I don't want to make a huge deal out of it but i find this disrespectful and hurtful. I am going to bring it up at the weekend. Would you be happy if your partner was doing something similar? How would you react? Thanks for any answers. I really appreciate it.
  3. I never told him that his job was “inferior.” He was complaining that he didn’t like the job and was trying to get a new job and even looking and applying elsewhere at the time. Due to the current cris it’s hard to get work anywhere. I told him about this place near me and asked him if he wanted me to leave a CV for him in there. The CV he had was very specific to a certain type of job so i helped him to re-structure it. English not being his first language is also why I did this. I didn’t force him to do anything though
  4. My boyfriend was complaining about his job recently. He lives an hour away from me. He works in retail in a place an hour away from his home and has really awkward hours from one week to the next. He commutes every day. I was unemployed so I was looking for work. I heard that a local factory near my home was hiring people. I sent my CV in and I offered to make him a CV and cover letter too and to drop it in with mine. He received a call for an interview on Monday. They wanted him to come in on Wednesday but he was working so he just flat out said no, sorry, I can’t.” I questioned why he did that when he was off on Tuesday and could have asked if he could have come in then instead. He always obliges at work and puts himself out to suit the store. Surely he could have asked to even finish work a bit early on Wednesday. He called them back about Tuesday and didn’t mention Wednesday. Unfortunately they couldn’t interview him on that day. That was the end of it. Part of the reason he suddenly wasn’t that bothered about the offer was due to the fact that he got a promotion offer to assistant manager in his current role. The pay rise was only 80c. However, if he accepted the factory job then he would have weekends off, better pay, regular hours and he would save money on fuel as he could commute from my house that’s only 10 mins away from it. Rent free. I got offered a job there today. Now I’m working week days and only god knows what hours he will be on. He used to be able to get one day off at the weekend. I asked him if he could ask at work if they could give him one day off at the weekend. Even for a while until I get stared in my new role and after a while I could ask about getting a day off during the week now and then. He flat out just said “no. I know they won’t give me it.” “Lol not a chance.” Now, at this point I’m wondering if I have a right to be a bit pissed off or not? The way I see it is that he wasted 2 hours of my time and effort making him a CV and he declined a better job offer that would have made it a whole lot easier to see each other. We have been doing long distance for years and only seeing each other once a week. He seems to have no assertiveness at work and will literally do anything the boss asks him. Even if it makes life awkward for him. I’ve been getting tired of it lately. I know a relationship is a two way thing and I’m willing to try and work something out too. Although, if we can’t I don’t know what will happen with us. Would you be a bit annoyed if your partner was acting like this? Or am I just being a bit selfish?! Opinions on the situation would be much appreciated. Thanks x
  5. Sorry to hear that you are going through this. To me it seems like he wasn't that intersted in the first place. If a guy really like you he will sned relatively fast responses and not leave you wiating weeks. I have been down this road before and they usually turn out to be players. Keep your chin up because there are plenty more fish in the sea. I'm sire you will find someone else in no time who is happy to give you their time. Good luck :)
  6. Lately I have been really down. It is due to a mixture of problems in my life. I won’t bore you. I’m unemployed due to COVID 19, clueless about what direction to take my future career in, my family never stop arguing and treat me like their door mat around the house. I’m just angry, frustrated and upset. I try to confide in my boyfriend about how I’m feeling inside. I don’t know if I’m depressed or whether this is just a passing phase. When I talk about things he says nothing at all really. 2 days ago when I really had enough of it and confessed that I wished I wouldn’t wake up tomorrow - he responded in the most unsupportive way via text. See quotations. “This is nothing in comparison to what you will have to face in the future. “ “The world doesn’t work the way you had imagined.” “I have been in the same boat as you and I sailed through it.” “This is reality. I don’t want to give you false hopes lol” “The problems u had before were only the tip of the iceberg.” I was in bed crying at the time. I understand that maybe it can be hard to have to listen to a person who is having problems and that you sometimes need to have a “tough love” attitude. Perhaps I over-do it now and then. However, I just feel the way he responded to my breakdown was extremely cruel and unsupportive. Whenever he is having a hard time I am always there for him. I listen and offer an opinion and try to reassure him of things. I am sure I will have to face harder times in life in the future, but this whole scenario has made me wonder if he really is the one that I want to be there for me. Or "be there." If things ever got really bad I would want a partner with a different attitude that will support me. We are 22 and have been together almost 5 years. I let little things like this slide before, but since this occasion has been more noticable, I cannot shake it off. Is this acceptable or am I just over reacting? I haven’t talked to him in almost 2 days because I’m mad and feel like he makes me feel worse. He texted me twice. He asked if I was mad. When I ignored his text he just said "okay." Nothing since. How should I deal with this? Any answers much appreciated.
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