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Aleph

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About Aleph

  • Birthday 03/08/1981

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  1. I kind of figured out that she was using me but I chose not to believe it. The more truths that I hear the less I care and think about her. Since getting advice from this forum I have thought about her in a negative context. It helps in purging her memories. You are right about not falling fast. I am going to be a lot more cautious and grounded before I commit to anyone in the future. She kept in touch with a lot of her ex's. That's why it hurt when she blocked me. In hindsight, I think it was because she knew what she had done and that I would bring it up in the future. Anyway, friends say I dodged a bullet and gained some experience. I date now and again but every 10 years I meet someone I just have a connection with. I call them "Celestials" as though destiny said we were meant to meet. I have seen a great many troubles in my life. I have experienced very few. This being one of them.
  2. I won't say that she is a bad person. Like you say she is a 20 something but she came across as pretty mature and grounded. A friend of mine said that people like her never settle down and always blame the other person. I Will be a lot more cautious in the future. Not going to fall in love alĂ  Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. I was halfway through the recovery process. I told myself that it's not my fault. She came onto me and left just as abruptly. The advice you have given me has helped show her in a different light. She was an experience. Nothing else. Grocery shopping with dewiness. I know it sounds soppy. What can I say. I'm a romantic. Small things mean a lot to me. Just glad it was spring. Not winter walks on the beach or building snow men. Good lord.
  3. BlueCastle. That has to to be the best advice that I have yet received. A completely different perspective. In many ways you are correct. It did burn bright and intense. And, like you said, it probably burned out for her. This helps me understand things a whole lot better. Never looked at it that way before. She did say that she was a serial monogamist. Looking back at it, I come to realise that she went around collecting experiences without any regard for the other person. I feel so much better already.
  4. Thanks, I'm glad that someone has an understanding of social etiquette.
  5. Straight to the point. I fall in love hard, once every 10 years. First time at 19, second at 29, third, one month before my 39th birthday. These are all girls that I wanted to spend my life with. I can understand why the first two did not work out but the most recent was such a heart break that I am finding it hard to cope. I'll give you a little background to the whole scenario. 38 years old, I decided that I was not going to look for anyone. Just get on with my life and enjoy myself. In February of this year, I meet a girl. She is 27. I have no interest in her whatsoever. She starts coming onto me. Asking me to sit next to her. Telling my close friend that she feels rejected because I will not kiss her. I relented. I fell in love. Maybe this was the one. We started to spend a lot of time together. She was my first for a lot of things. Not sex. The small simple every day things that people take for granted. First time we went shopping at the supermarket. First time Someone stayed over at my place, cooked dinner together, went for walks at odd times, shared songs. When she told me that she loved me, my heart swelled up. I was almost euphoric. At the start of April she decided to go to her parents to look after her mum. Due to the current situation. I would message her everyday and get a reply maybe 3 or 4 days later. Never a phone call. I started to sense that I was losing her. My guess turned out to be right. She said we had nothing in common, that we don't laugh enough. We should be friends first. I found myself emotionally compromised. I told her to come pick up her things and leave. I'll admit this was my mistake but I was really hurt. I lost the ability to make rational decisions. She comes with her dad. Gets her stuff. I don't see her or say anything. A month later she calls me. She is at her new flat. It's a mess. She doesn't like it. She's crying. Being me, I tell her not to worry. I pick her up. We collect her belongings the next day. She settles into the spare room. Then she goes completely cold. She won't talk to me. As soon as I enter any common area she walks out. I buy her flowers and she ignores the gesture. A week later she brings a guy over to the house. Albeit, she is now single and she has her own space. I tell her that I still love her and that she can have a few months to find some where else to stay. Fine, she says. The next day, whilst I am out, her dad and brother come over to the house and take all her belongings. She then blocks me on all forms of communication. No warning, no reason.
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