I am new here and really hope to find some advice or consolation. My situation might just not be what you may expect:
I am quite nervous actually. My partner and i met shortly after my last breakup and during his amicable breakup after a 12 year relationship. It was very amazing and we formed that very beautiful, peaceful, caring connection but at the same time it showed that we were not emotionally ready to open up and so often driven by fear. When it comes to attachement theory he would be fearful avoidant and i on the other hand (surprise) anxious(though i worked hard on that and it only shows when i am in a very stressfull period). After 8 months we started to drown in pointless fights (a very stressfull month during which we both had to to deal with extremely emotional devastating situations like death, losing jobs etc) and after 9 months he called it quits. He said he felt emotionally tired he didn't feel open for a connection between us.
He was certain there was no other way but to break up with me and at the same time he was devastated because we both shared an amazing bond (in the past he expressed that he never felt such a connection and intimacy with anyone before). Well... i suggested instead of just breaking up there was a different possibility. I suggested we should take a break of three months, meet again on the day of our first date. Then, after calming down and taking care of our emotional business, we could start again. A reset so to call. He liked the idea. At first i suggested 6 months but he was scared over a period that long we might lose sight of each other so i reduced it to 3 months.
When he asked if we could stay in touch i told him that i think it would be best not to, that i feared we might get used to being platonic and that i want us both to focus on ourselfs to be ready for each other when we meet again. He agreed and made clear he doesn't want to take the chance of us losing the spark over that. Which surprised me cause before he asked if we could try to be friends in the future to make sure we wouldn't lose each other completely. Anyway after that we were ready to finally cut the ties with staying in touch only over our agreed date, the music we can share on spotify and that's that. We shared an intense hug and said goodbye. Our breakup was complete...
Also i should mention that our relationship was rough because he was leaving a polyamorous situation with his ex to enter an exclusive with me. We both put a lot of pressure onto ourselfs to decide quickly if we want to have a commited relationship instead of just enjoying our very comitted company and let things just naturally flow. As i said: we were both emotionally not ready for someone new. That's why i had the idea to strip off all the pressure by trying that reset.
I really do like him and i hope this reset will help us get back together but at the same time i am scared that these 3 months without direct contact are too much and he will just ... well... lose his feelings for me.