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Kden

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Everything posted by Kden

  1. I feel so pathetic for constantly offering love and understanding but getting very little in return.
  2. I posted earlier about my boyfriend changing his mind about moving in together. Since then we have reconciled and agreed to do other things to move us forward as a couple such as go on a vacation/staycation together to reconnect post quarantine. I didn't get overly excited about it as there's not much one can do these days but I was lookong forward to the opportunity to spend an extended time together. It was his idea to do the vacation/staycation time and now he's wondering if we should do it at all due to finances. I understand but am also disappointed as he tends to do this a lot, i.e. present an idea that I guess he doesn't think through and then he takes it back or waffles. He's done this on a couple trips and other special milestones and it makes me feel really bad. Then when I try to get more details of what's going on and if we're still doing the thing in question he says he doesn't want to talk about it right now. Why does he give and then take away? Why doesn't he want to talk to me when I understandably have questions? He says he wants to move forward and have a future together but never makes any firm moves in that direction. He makes suggestions and when I take them and run with them he says im pushing him. I'm very confused as to why he wants to do one thing one moment but then a day or so later second guesses...... it makes me feel unwanted even though he says he wants me
  3. I'm now wondering if this is my fault, if I pushed too hard.
  4. Thank you everyone. Even though all opinions point in the same direction I still struggle with what to do. Like you have said I get these hints of something more or even outright ideas and proposals about the future but when it comes time to do the things he says he changes his mind and I get very confused. I tend to form relationships with emotionally unavailable people. I was hoping this time was different.
  5. The same issues tend to be moving forward. I've brought up my spending more time over in the past and he said he wasn't ready. Or I've tried to have discussions on what we mean to each other and he always says it's not a good time. Every attempt to move forward I am pushed back and told that he likes his space. That's why I was so excited this time as I thought he was ready. For the first time moving in came up without me bringing it up. I'm 30 and he's 34. Pre virus we had our own separate lives and hobbies. We would spend the weekend together and one evening a week.
  6. I don't know what to do. During lockdown my boyfriend and I were separate and doing great. We talked together on a daily basis, we did virtual movies, etc. He even spoke of experimenting with my moving in. I was so excited and a little panicked as I thought it was perhaps too much to go from not seeing each other at all to being each other's only companionship if we had to ride out quarantine together. Later it was communicated that I misunderstood and he actually meant me not moving in but being around more, i.e. experimenting with a month or week living together. Now that quarantine is over I tried implementing this idea and he told me he meant we could talk about it.... then just yesterday he confessed he wasn't ready for this step at all. We have been together a year and a half and I thought we were moving forward. I don't understand what changed his mind and it's created a large problem in our relationship. I don’t know how to get past it as I feel lied to and betrayed. I want to be with him but we fight every couple months about the same issues. I want to move forward but he doesn't and he provides me with no indication of when he will be. He claims to want to be with me and says I am included in his future plans. Should I let this go and give him his time? How do I get past the hurt feelings?
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