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xanzza

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About xanzza

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  1. Well, I don't think it's too strange if she rescue texted her friend. Maybe she's just too afraid of rejecting and she said al those things in a compensating fashion? She could also be ignoring you to see if you try again, playing hard to get. Maybe she has been busy or had a personal issue. Maybe she freaked out because you wanted her number and she doesn't wanna give it to you. There could be many reasons. I would say same thing as melancholy123; I would give her a couple of days and then contact her again, maybe asking how she is or saying that we could keep it in the app if that's
  2. Hi! I can think about a couple of things that could be going on. Do you think that maybe you are afraid of being vulnerable? When you fall in love, you are vulnerable to getting your heart broken, so maybe you prefer to start a relationship where you don't feel so much so you are safe, and comfortable enough with someone who treats you well. I think this could be the case because of that first relationship you talk about: it hurts so bad to do everything for someone and still get your heart broken, so maybe after that you'd rather play it safe, expect to feel comfortable enough but then realiz
  3. Someone who isn't willing to build things in a relationship just because they are not married, won't do it once they're married. That's one of the reasons behind the high divorce rates. Being compatible doesn't mean that EVERY single aspect of the relationship is perfect without trying. Believing that is the path to failure. Nobody is perfect, starting with ourselves. If things are off, repair them. If they can't be repaired, then leave, but leaving because the house isn't furnished as you like before you got there is just not the way for a healthy relationship, I believe.
  4. Hey! If you don't have any reason to doubt her, then believe her. If she's going under a lot of stress, then she could be taking it out on you. Which is not right, but it happens. Maybe you could talk to her and tell her that you are there for her to talk and to support her. Maybe try to show interest in her day, know what I mean? Make it about her.
  5. Hey! I believe it comes down to one thing. When the house has a broken light, do you move or do you change the light?? It's easy to judge and step away when something isn't working for you. But if you believe that you are compatible on long term on other things, it could be good to sit down and think whether those other areas are more or less important. Truth is, in sex sometimes chemistry is right there, sometimes you have to build it as a couple. And I do believe that most of the time it can be done, unless there are underlying ideas that often come from religion, previous toxic househol
  6. Why are you saying "at us"? Lmao don't take what's not meant for you. I've thanked all of you, but got hostile at ONE PERSON who was, IMO, being judgamental and wasn't listening to what I was saying. Yet you come up and stand for them? Way to go. I need no lectures, so if you won't add anything you can cut it off. I have thanked people for their advice and I do thank you all for your time, but I won't sit here and say "alright" because again that won't solve my problem. I am giving the information I think is needed, and if they advice me to do something I have done and didn't work, I will
  7. Hey. Sorry to hear this. I'm in a similar situation, in her place. All I can say is, you need to try to be as objective as possible. If my MIL came to me and said "you didn't win an award, did you?" I would be incredibly angry, and if my bf told me "she didn't mean it" I'd be twice as mad lol. Try to see it as cold hearted as you can, without sugar coating your gf nor your mom. Sometimes people we love can do pretty ugly things and we just refuse to see it. I'm not saying your parents mean it, but just think that there's a possibility they do. Perhaps you can make your gf feel safer by lis
  8. I'm not telling YOU told me to shut my mouth, but if you read this person's comment you wil find the exact sentence written. I tried someone's advice, told them it didn't work, then get lectured of how I haven't tried it. This isn't about you, so keep it that way. I'm not even going to answer the "it isn't attractive" bit. I've repeatedly thanked for the advice, but read the messages again. I've been told many times to ignore her, just as perhaps it's been going on with me. I just won't go over the same. You don't wanna understand that ignoring her isn't working, then alright. I'll jus
  9. Actually I've thought that many many times, but the time I dared suggest it she laughed ironically at me lol. So idk if I would be able to make it happen, but it would definitely be the best option, I believe. What do I think is the best way? Try to understand a resentful person's mind so I can convince her that the past is past and that the ideas she formed are not true. I cannot do this with words, but perhaps with deeds, but I don't know how. I've never felt hated in my life lol so I wouldn't know how could someone convince me or show me that they love me instead.
  10. No, that's not the case. She resented me for leaving in the first place, and she has the idea that children should not leave the parents' home until they are married.
  11. I'm not trying to control my mom's thinking lol but they say that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. All I'm trying but am obviously failing to say is that I've done this many, many, MANY times over the course of many, many, MANY years only to see how it doesn't help at all. Again, I'm more than happy that it has worked for you. But keep in mind that people are different. What works for you might not work for others. Yes, my responses to you are hostile, because you seem to not want to understand that I have tried your advice without result (and because tbh I
  12. And please don't get me wrong; I am thankful for all the advice and the insight, and I am understanding many things and seeing others that I can exercise. It's not that I am looking for an advice telling me what I want to hear; but I wanna do things in the best possible way, for the best possible outcome.
  13. Well, that's why I'm here asking for advice. I'm not asking "how can I keep arguing with my mom without her being mad", I'm asking "how can I breathe without her thinking I hate her". If I had a solution, I would just do it, not ask. The advice everybody is giving is good advice as in it might get me through without further mental health issues, but I don't think it's solving anything, you know. If you are ill you can very well take medicine for the pain, but you're not gonna recover with just that. The advice I look for is a way in which I can interact with her without her thinking that I
  14. And, as a matter of fact, it's not only if I argue. It's literally everything I do. Yesterday she said "she can notice" that I am annoyed when she passes me by. The only thing I do is exist, and somehow she concludes I am annoyed. See the point?
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