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About Silent47XXY

  • Birthday 12/28/1973

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  1. Thanks Wiseman2 and LeHermes. No I'm only working here so I am exposed to the interesting culture and Sharia law. The concepts are very direct. No room for weakness. Creates a robust society. Thanks for your patience and trying to let me down easy. I know deep down I have to get on and outgrow it. Was hoping for support and found it here thank you. Let's close this thread, I need to get on with life. Maybe find an advantage. I was reading through the comments on that video clip. Positive stuff.
  2. Thanks LaHermes. I have read all articles and journals on the topic. I remember this one as male infertility is unacceptable in the middle east as you are considered a weak useless male ('a worm'). So males blame it on their wives in denial. This is intense stuff, Im not being dramatic, its real.
  3. Thanks for the video. I have come across his channel a month ago.
  4. Contacted them thank you. I have also a few in UK which are closer to my lockdown location. No reply in the last 100 days. LaHermes, yes it is unfair, and I can deal with many issues in this regard, and have, this is issue is blindsiding me completely as it has no logic. Which means it must be evolutionary (natural selection) and so there is a reason for it, which means that naturally, it should not bother me, but it is. Similarly one can not dumb yourself down once you acquired the knowledge. As Wiseman2 suggested there is maybe an underlying issue, I cant see what it is though, I'm generally successful at everything I do and can self manage through emotional intelligence. I'm a scientific guy, I need a scientific solution. There are some good philosophical explanations on here, and I would start to believe that there is so much more to life, as soon as I see fertile men sending their women for IVF by sperm donor of other males. I think you see my point that it is not a real silver lining, it just makes us feel better about it.
  5. If anyone could recommend how to find a therapist which is 47XXY, and with personal experience, I would definitely be interested. With my limited knowledge, I know professional therapists are guided by and ethically restricted to clinical guides. I have read these guidelines. It may work for the masses of patients to a suitable extent, to look the other way and be happy. Is it really that easy? Should I just lower my standards and expectations of myself and live a gray life with a fake smile. To the experienced people, what value did you find that compares/replaces fertility? what is the silver lining in your life? The data does not provide a scientific element equivalent, or I have not found it yet.
  6. Of course, all partners face the same infidelity risk. No, what I got from it is that I don't have a choice. If I want the quality of life brought by family, providing life skills, its going to be another man's child and my wife's, and never my eyes looking at me. I know how it must sound selfish and stupid. I wouldn't be in this topic in this forum if I didn't really think about the issue first. Consider you put all your effort, dedicate your life to a goal, restarting repeatedly, only to realise 30 years later, you wasted your time because of a simple science fact. Did you know that in some countries/states, even a sperm donor biological father, retain his parental rights if he wishes? Why would that be the default and law, if there is just soo much more to life for them out there?
  7. Thank you for everyone's contribution. And I value your time even reading this, if anyone, I value time exclusively. I'm not judging to say some are right and some are wrong, as it is relative and surely we can't simply compare with birds regarding evolutionary processes (Darwin) as we are conscious cognitive beings. I have the answer.
  8. No, I would say few people consider it. Happens subconsciously.
  9. Significantly. I have communicated to 47XXY men, They simply accept it, or in denial mechanism. Undiagnosed 47s are all submissive males believing they are doing what they meant to do (undiagnosed low testosterone levels has this impact).
  10. Dear Arjumand, Thanks for sharing. I get the point, I have also contributed significantly to the economic development of 4 developing countries employing over 600 people per project for this very reason, transferring skills, somehow it didn't directly create a life, like the local football coach did in my wife whilst Im saving the world doing the 'good guy' stuff. Doesn't seem to compare. It is insane you right, but how do humans process these challenges? What do people tell themselves to say that it is ok to take my family, you deserve it mate, impregnate her all you want, I cant, but I will stay and raise your genetics while you find another Women, doing the right thing to her aswell.
  11. No hormone intervention until last year, no proper therapy until I started reflecting and researching to understand why the same failures repeat. Now its too late. I should have had TRT at age 12. Sperm bank at 16. TRT the last 34 years. Cant physiologically catch that up and is irreversible now. So its a tough one. Should I pursue justice? don't think any actions will address biological failure or tell me how to accept.
  12. Thanks Wiseman2. You are correct. I am blindingly bitter and every man triggers it. But can not blame it on either Women or Men, they are simply naturally pursuing life. There is no release.
  13. Thank you all for your thoughts, experience and valuable opinions helping me out here in a tight spot after 3 decades of everything you mentioned circling in my mind. It all adds value, especially the encouragement with explenation. Of course, it's all relative to personal priorities. And had fertile men not repeatedly 'swooped in' to save the day at my expense, perhaps I could revert to the de-sensitised view I once had of utilitarianism, living happily with stepson as family. So now I'm clinical and cold. Narrow minded, probably, until I can find an equally valuable scientific reason that matches the value of fertile men. Just being a 'better man' or a 'good guy' has not worked for me regardless of my personal values, efforts and behaviour. Anyway, I did not intend for the thread to become disturbing to anyone, it is obviously controversial and uneasy topic, but I had to reach out for wisdom. Just interested in gaining perspective with facts to find a coping mechanism in case I missed a fundamental reason. Thanks Waywardkiwi for your insight, really a post worth keeping on file thanks. Regarding 'Nearly anyone can father a child; only a real man can be a dad', its perfect, but a father have a choice to be a Dad. You all are right, I just think my decisions to be subordinate, for the greater good, have killed me through some extreme sequence of events over decades. If I put all the responses together, it comes down to having to accept it by reprogramming my reality. Basically lying to myself. I think Seraphim has hit the nail on its head as painful as it is. There is no proper reason unless we make one up.
  14. Certainly, be blunt, please. Yes, so does professional fertility therapists following clinical guidelines and council me to accept it, while they have biological families, they don't understand it, or I have not met one that does. Why do you exist if I may ask your understanding?
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