summertt

Thank you so much for you 2 cent. You are right. If he is going to be with me, he needs to put the ring away for good. I have seen him wearing it once before, confronted him, so he knows how I feel about it. It's just totally disrespectful to me.

No, they are not in contact anymore. He has visitation on Wednesday and Sunday with his children. His ex-wife has nothing to do with him. She doesn't even want him seeing the children.

Here is the thing....2 months ago he came over to my apt. and he had the ring on. Apparently he realized it, stuck his hand in his pocket and took it off. At that point, I did say something to him because it upset me. It made me feel he is holding on to what he and his wife had...It just doesn't seem right that he now has the ring in his car. Not in the console but in the door handle part. If he knows how it upsets me, why would he continue to wear it????

I have been involved with my boyfriend for 7 months now. I am 29 and he is 42. He was married for 10 years and has been divorced for 3. Yesterday I noticed my boyfriend's wedding band in his car. I am assuming he wears it on a regular basis and when he comes to see me, he takes it off. I am not sure how to approach the situation but will not feel at ease until I do. I really need suggestions. HELP!!!

No, marriage is not an option at this point. I have only been involved with him for 6 months...

I wouldn't want him to go against his beliefs for me. I wouldn't feel comfortable with him doing that. Sex doesn't make a relationship but once again I will say, it's an important factor to me. The only thing I know to do is to walk away...I respect him for sticking to his beliefs and not falling short because of me. Maybe friendship is all we are meant to have....Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts, opinions and advise. Greatly appreciated....

So, the right thing for me to do is get out of the relationship and be with someone who has the same beliefs as I do...Truly, it's not fair to either of us...

Listen, I am not trying to make him go against his beliefs...And it seems it will be best if I do just move on. Sex is an important part of a relationship. We both care about one another but it's not a guarantee that we will get married. Why is it okay for us to do other things sexually and not the actual intercourse? Isn't that sinning as well????

Yes, he told me at the beginning...Honestly, I didn't believe him. And when we started messing around, doing other things with one another, I thought eventually we would make love...His actions does not make any sense to me...If you aren't going to be intimate, then why do everything but penetrate...

Thank you Lady00 for your response...I called and left him a voice message telling him we need to talk tonight, face to face...The one thing I told myself I wouldn't do in a relationship, I am basically doing...I AM SETTLING...Putting my feelings aside and I can't do that anymore....

First I have to say, I wouldn't try and change his beliefs. I do respect this man a great deal. Leaving him, wouldn't that be implying that I only wanted sex and when it wasn't fulfilled I moved on????

Well, the relationship does seem one sided when it comes to the topic of making love...His thoughts on this matter are very strong. I don't want to try and change his beliefs or anything like that. I feel I am stuck between a rock and a very hard place...At first it didn't bother me because I always wait a few months before having sex with a man....But the past month has been really hard on me. We have been dating for 6 months, we see each other on a regular basis. Weekends are spent together doing things we both enjoy...The relationship is getting serious. I have tried to talk to him about this...I feel he hears me but he is not listening to me. And we have had arguments about this as well....What else can I do besides leave him and be with someone else who is on the same page as I am...

I am not ready to just walk out on him...I enjoy our time together...I don't want to try and change his beliefs. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. It makes me feel good that he respects me and wants to wait for marriage. But the thing is, who says I am the woman he will marry...I strongly believe sex is an important part of a relationship. And when one wants it and not the other, problems are going to arise...I don't want to lose this man because I enjoy spending time with him...I am just really frustrated at this point.

He told me in the beginning that we can't have intercourse because for one, he respects me and for two, he was not having intercourse until he gets married...It's been 6 months, I truly care for this man and I am ready to be intimate with him. I see nothing wrong with that.

I am a 29 year old female. My boyfriend of 6 months is 42 years of age. I am not concerned with the age difference, I do prefer older men. What really bothers me is now that I am ready to have intercourse, he refuses. He has been married before and has children so yes, he has had intercourse before...He says he will not have sex until he marries again. I feel he teases me...We mess around and basically do everything except the actual intercourse, he will not penetrate for anything....It has become very frustrating for me. I use my detachable shower head, turn up the water pressure and get myself off alot. More so now than I have ever before...I need help. How do I get my man to understand that I want to have intercourse...Who says we will get married...Am I wasting my time...So many unanswered questions.....