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graythings

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  1. do you guys think he may have some feelings for me but they may be lost/suppressed due to the stress and tension of the arguments etc?
  2. he definitely contributes to it being prolonged. even if i do get emotional i always try resolve and ask him can we resolve it within a few hours max. this is not just with me either. if he gets worked up about something else in his life he hangs on to it for hours and lets it impact on him
  3. I know you think im crazy but yes. I do have feelings for him and i love his company and being with him. I know the issues and can identify the problems and i also feel as we are in a new phase we are still learning about each other and how we react etc
  4. I usually start crying because i am very sensitive so thats why i said i would try control them which i did he even said i handled the break up much better than he expected. He does have issues controlling his anger and sought help in the past, but right now he doesnt see his side he just sees us arguing all the time (4 disagreements in 6 weeks) but they are exhausting because they go on for days. then he always says he doesnt know if we can continue because hes afraid the arguments will continue. even after i tried controlling myself he said that ok for now because im consciously doing it but i wont always be consciously doing it. My friend said he made it seem like it was all my fault because he is unable see or deal with his own emotions and its nothing to do with me
  5. They were small things just disagreements but sometimes he would label them for example the last argument he labelled my behaviour as petty and hypocritical so I took offensive and got upset because I took it personally. Then it escalated to him saying he can’t talk to me etc . But I apologised and asked could we resolve it straight away but he kept going on how he couldn’t talk to me about issues. Another time he accused me of being controlling and another he accused me of betraying him (I genuinely didn’t and he seen that in the end after a week of explaining)
  6. My friend said that because he’s a bit unstable And I’m emotional that he can see it becoming a cycle between us that we may start meeting again then we’ll have a disagreement then he will go again, does anyone else see this happening?
  7. he has a low threshold as he has had anger issues in the past and cannot process feelings of anger it takes him days and days. Do you think he may still feel something for me but it may be suppressed by the feelings of stress and tension from the arguing and talking about the relationship? Or do you believe he doesnt feel anything for me as he said?
  8. because one minute he was affectionate and coming round talking normal to me then asks me to his house to spend time together and then when i go in hes affectionate but breaks up with me then saying things like he has no feelings for me and its not worth it and he will be upset for a while but he will get over it
  9. I didnt sense it to be honest I only asked him how he felt the day before and day of the BU and only because he kept saying "i dont know", not necessarily when I asked but then again he has said "i dont know" to me before so honestly i didnt take it too seriously. I am trying to stay away as long as i can. not easy but im trying. i am hurt that he gave up so easy and i feel like i have very little value and worth in his life for him to make that decision so quick and easy and also to switch off his feelings so fast aswell
  10. Im still trying to figure this all out and my mood fluctuates. My friend also said he is playing games and is abusive and this is a form of control and he will be expecting me to be calling him begging him and told me to ignore him completely
  11. My ex bf and I were together for a few months. Over the past few weeks we have had a few arguments (four) the last one being the weekend before last. The arguments weren’t bad or abusive just prolonged and we went back and forth a bit. In fact they were over trivial things, it wasn't what we argued over but how we argued. I admit I have difficulty managing emotions and get emotional and defensive quickly, in addition he has had issues with managing emotions like anger and tension in the past and has had therapy for this. Subsequently while i tried to resolve them quickly he always dragged them on for days as he couldnt remove those feelings of anger and frustration. I acknowledged my side and vowed to work on it and he said he had noticed an improvement but he was afraid to give me a chance in case my emotions took over again in a future argument. The week before that everything was perfect we were very happy spent lots of time together and he told me he loved me as usual. During last week (post argument) he went back and forth saying he was afraid the arguing would continue and he didn’t know what to do about the relationship. He said he didn’t want to break up but he was afraid of the fights continuing. When I asked him did he love me he said he feels his heart isnt in it but he did feel it before. I dont know if he loved me but I do believe he did have strong feelings for me. Friday night he was starting to come round, we stopped talking about it. We met Saturday morning and all was good like normal he was affectionate etc then I asked how he felt about things now and he said he still didn’t know he was torn he didn’t want to end it but wanted the arguments to end so I told him he needed to make a decision. a few hours later he said he wanted to break up, I asked him to give it a week and he agreed. We met saturday evening and he said he didnt know how he felt he didnt know if the relationship was worth continuing and didnt know how he felt about me or if his heart was in it. We agreed to meet Sunday and talk more and spend time together and when I went to his house he was affectionate as usual then he broke up with me and said he didn’t feel the same and his heart wasn’t in it. He said he was conflicted and when I mentioned breaking up he thought about it and felt it was best. I asked is it possible his feelings could be suppressed due to the conflict and tension he said he didn’t know. I asked did he want to continue talking and see me again and He said yes and said we could meet up next week but I havent heard from him since. He said he cares about me. He also said before after an argument a few weeks ago he didn’t know if he loved me but once we spent time together he did get the feelings back. He said he didn’t feel anything when he ended it but he was stressed about the whole thing because we had been discussing it for so long. Is there any possibility that with time apart he may come back and give it a chance? I would appreciate if people wouldnt tell me to move on.I feel yes he is immature, he is inexperienced, and he is unstable and has issues. But I also feel he ended the relationship quite quickly and didnt give it a proper chance. I plan on giving him space for as long as possible but I am starting to miss him. Any opinions and advice would be appreciated thanks
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