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Everything posted by youngnotdumb

  1. I never texted him. Yes, he's blocked and I feel great about never having to deal with him again. I don't want to go into what happened, but I felt really free from him. I was excited to start seeing this new guy, but when we're having fun conversations, the voice in my head starts saying things like "it's dumb of you to say that" and things my ex would say or imply. I have therapy next week, so I'm hoping I can figure that mess out.
  2. After what I thought was a mutual break up with my ex back in May, some things have come to light and I am realizing I was in a relationship with a man who, if not already is a narcissist, has extreme narcissitic tendencies. He's done some insane things since we've broken up, but not going to get into that. Long story short my friends, family, and therapist have all helped me see what he is. Despite it, he was still one of the healthiest relationships I have had and it wasn't even healthy. ANYWAY. I've been on 3 covid-friendly dates with someone new. He's sweet, patient, and seems to be a r
  3. Bluntly stated but if you're already questioning it this much, don't go through with this. You're gonna spend the rest of your life questioning what it would be like if you broke it off. You seem to be going through a lot and he's weighing you down.
  4. No contact is a very hard step to get through, it's totally okay to feel anxious through this. It is a HUGE accomplishment for you to accept and realize that there needs to be no contact. What you're experience is a form of withdraw. You were dependent on his contact but you're seeing he isn't going to cut it. It takes a lot of time! Every day you successfully go no contact will get easier.
  5. We broke up around early June. We're civil to each other and have a few mutual friends. Have had a couple interactions, nothing negative but nothing out of the ordinary for two people being nice to each other. Like, there's no ill-will towards one another but I do think I'd be more inclined to be irritated by absolutely no response. I'm remembering one of my exes texted me happy birthday well after we broke up (about a year) and his friend warned me it was an attempt to weasel his way back into my life. I don't necessisarily want that. I'm not opposed to someday being acquantanced friends sinc
  6. We didn't have an ugly break up, it was mutual, but we're not really friends. His birthday isn't for a few more days, but one of my friends asked if I was going to wish him a happy birthday still. I remembered he put a lot of effort into my birthday when we were together, I figured a birthday text wishing him well wouldn't be horrible contact. The more I think about it the more I think it'd be rude not to, but I keep seeing stuff about people using holidays/quarantine/events(birthdays) as a reason to check in and cause pain but that's not really the vibe here.
  7. I've been doing a lot of self-reflecting and I just feel as if I haven't been the best friend to my friends lately. Not trying using my current mental health as an excuse, I just haven't felt like myself in a long time and I have recently started therapy. Reflecting upon things, I know I've posted previously about one of my friends being in a bad relationship and how the rest of us, especially me, can't seem to understand why she stays. I've been thinking I've been setting boundaries by not talking to her about her relationship but I've realized the rest of my friends and I still talk about th
  8. I think I've posted before about how my friend is in an ultimately bad relationship, despite how much she says "he's changed" (somehow he miraculously changed from a narcissitic, manipulative in 3 weeks) I just have this awful gut-sinking feeling about it all. My friend and I used to be super close but once she took him back after that break up, we've really drifted. Primarily because she confided in me most about everything up until she took him back. She knows I don't really like this guy but am willing to tolerate him because it's the only way I can see/hang out with her. I feel bad saying
  9. I'm feeling okay, just confused. We ended mutually and I actually think we could be friends at some point in the future. Which is why I haven't blocked or deleted them on anything because there wasn't really anything dramatic that staying "friends" on social media would be a problem. It doesn't bother me still being connected on social media. We don't really talk or engage with one another, just follow. Maybe I should have clarified, their posts haven't been mean, triggering, or anything that would hurt me to see. I don't assume they're all about me. They've just been posting oddly coincidenta
  10. First off, not in a negative way. We’ve been apart for a while and have had little to no contact but It seems things he’s posting things On his Snapchat as a ploy to get me to talk to him. Inside jokes, things I care about, etc. Is this normal? What does this mean?
  11. I went through a quarantine breakup. I still have the typical moments where I'm not as okay as I think I am (you know, those "only thinking of the good parts" kind of moments) but ultimately, I know I am going to be much happier once I am able to process and feel and get through the mud of a break up. I think I'll have a sore spot of missing him until I am okay on my own again. We've been no-contact, from blurbs I've heard and seen through some friends, he seems completely okay. The thing totally plaguing my brain is whether he'll ever miss me or our time together. I guess what I'm asking i
  12. My used-to-be best friend is in a toxic relationship with a manipulative, gaslighting, controlling douchebag. I really wish I was exaggerating, but none of her friends like this guy. They've broken up close to 5 times in the ~9 months they've been dating. We could throw 9000 red flags and she would still make an excuse for every single one of them. He also is just all around not a guy any of us want to be around. But it's her first relationship so we chalk it up to that because we've all been there, right? Well it's gotten to a point where it is unbelievable. She's been lying to her parents, h
  13. Perhaps I should clarify: we weren't really serious, it was casual and we both knew it wasn't going anywhere. Basically felt like we already were heading in the direction of just being friends.
  14. I posted a thread a while ago about how the guy I had been seeing and I were taking space. We ended up breaking things off, but we both agreed we could see the other as a friend in time (it honestly didn't feel like the cliché "we can still be friends" talk I've had plenty of times, it was genuine and mutual and somewhat hopeful). I know I personally need some time to mourn the loss of the relationship, but is it possible to really be friends with an "ex"?
  15. Just for now! I'm approaching my mid twenties, but I'm not quite ready for anything serious yet. I do eventually want to find that person. Everything was fine in the sense of having fun and not really bickering like this before quarantine. He admitted that he has felt like he's been in a funk, which as established everyone has been feeling some type of way. But that's not an excuse to treat people poorly. I went into all this with the intent of having a mature conversation about where we're at and if this is going to have a shot at being fun again. We talked a little this evening, seems like h
  16. I can give a more recent example. About a week ago, I didn't reply fast enough (was busy, took 5 minutes to do something) and he just said "k, ttyl" and ignored me for a little over a day and then admitted to feeling in a funk. The week following that was tense with a lot of bickering because it felt as if everything I said was wrong, like he'd interpret it in a way I didn't mean and we'd bicker. and I was just wanting to have a conversation about what is going on. I don't want to tolerate that nor do I deserve that. But I guess it depends what we're expecting out of each other.
  17. It's only been 3 days of not talking. I was planning on reaching out later tonight. I want fun, casual, light and fluffy, but there have been some tense moments of him not treating me the best (and I'm not innocent in it, either) because of how we're both trying to cope with quarantine. I struggle with my mental health enough without a pandemic, but he's been very impatient with me and things have been tense and I felt shut out and shut down. So I wanted to address that, and now we're here.
  18. Hi. I never thought I'd reach out for help on a forum, but here I am. So here's some backstory: I've been seeing this guy since roughly October of last year. It's been casual and fun until quarantine. Throughout this entire time we've been seeing each other, we'd go explore the city we live in and have such fun dates and laughs. Then with quarantine it abruptly ended. Everything we swept under the rug has just been staring at us this entire time. Trust me, it's a pretty lumpy rug. When I brought it up, we eventually agreed to take some time apart to think. I don't think either of us see the ot
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