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ugh2020

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  1. Thank you Lambert. You are absolutely correct, I felt that maybe because I was in love I could get passed it but the more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a bunch of BS. She got called out and had to think of an excuse. What if I didn't call her out? What then? More of the texting or even worse?
  2. I agree wholeheartedly about marriage and TRUST. I don't buy the 'I was under the influence of nonsense'. The texts were very lucid. If you were under the influence of something, they wouldn't have been. The fact that we had a disagreement and she had a bad day and then went to another man to have this kind of conversation is what's tearing me apart. I don't think she randomly picked a male friend and started this conversation. It was definitely intentional. I asked her if she had conversations like that with him or anyone else before and she said no, Of course, I do not believe her. The conversation was 'too perfect' for it to be an on the spot thing. If that makes sense. I think perhaps, it's time to cut my losses and just walk away.
  3. I have no problem with confronting someone with any issues. The argument was just a misunderstanding between us but she also told me that she had a bad day with her children with homeschooling, discipline, etc. . It was nothing major. We talked about that. She has 3 children and shares custody with ex. When she does not have the children, I am with her. So, I do not believe anything physical has happened with anyone. According to her, she took the meds and had some wine (not good) and we talked about that. She apologized and told me it never happened before and will never happen again. She said that she loved me and only wanted to be with me. I think it's on me to get past it. My self esteem went out the window. I'm not sure that there are any underlying issues. There may be and we will talk about it. As far as the bedroom is concerned, she seems satisfied. I do love her it's just that was a tough thing to see.
  4. Hello, I've been divorced for about 5 years. Met a woman and we've been dating for a little over a year. We are in love and talking about marriage. But...I was made aware of something that has bothered me and I am conflicted as to how I should handle this. A week ago I was updating her phone and there was a text thread between her and another guy that took place at about 2 in the morning. We do not live together (she has young kids) and I was at my home. There were no pictures exchanged but it was a long back and forth about sexual acts with each other - very descriptive and lurid- like I was reading a text from a porn (I don't think I can even say what it was on this forum.) I was mortified. Needless to say I lost my sh&* and confronted her. We had gotten into a little argument the night that she texted him and that was the start of the discussion. She told me that she had taken an Ambian and didn't even remember doing it. This guy lives in another state. They were friends when he lived here as far as I know and they never had a relationship. I ended the relationship right then. However, she texted him later and apologized to him that she made a mistake, etc. She sent me screenshots as proof I guess. She continued to reach out to me, apologizing profusely and asking for me to forgive her and get back together. After I cooled off, we talked and we got back together (love is forgiving I guess) My problem is that I cannot get passed it. When I'm with her I just keep thinking about it. Why would she do this? Why him? That sort of thing - and of course the actual content of the texts. I'm just not sure if I can get passed it. Was I fool to even get back with her? Should I just walk away? Totally confused. Thank you
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