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About Jimmyjackson

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  1. You're right, I can rack my brain as much as I'd like but truth be told, I felt that way for a reason even if it isn't clear now. Thank you for your comment.
  2. That makes sense, subconsciously letting it happen. But why have I felt so terrible these last 6 months if some part of me wanted out anyway?
  3. Yes I think you're very right. I will try to remind myself 'not to care', it just isn't easy. Despite her warning me about a month or two prior to the breakup that she was struggling to deal with my low mood etc and wasn't sure how long she could take it, I still didn't change. I obviously felt that way for a reason at the time but even 6 months later I still can't figure out why. It's frustrating.
  4. I think one of the things I seem to struggle with the most was when we were together, I often thought about other girls and lost interest in sleeping with her etc. As I said in my initial post, I stopped making effort for the last 2/3 months and became argumentative - surely I was that way for a reason? Ever since she ended it, I'm trying to rack my brain to understand why I felt that way then but it's still foggy. Why would I go the complete opposite way once she ended it? Is it my ego talking, the feeling of rejection? How can I try and remember my mindset prior to the breakup, when I felt
  5. No it was pure chance, she lives a 10/15 minute walk (last I knew), she was walking right around the corner from my building, I hadn't ventured far. It just upset me that of all days, all times to go running, that happened! Bad luck. I am on the waiting list for further counselling, I imagine it will take a long time due to the pandemic. Yes I have tried to put focus into things but I guess my mind just wanders so much, it's difficult.
  6. You are right about if I can find one, I will find another. I guess because I don't have any options at the moment and see her happy with another guy, I just feel hopeless about my current situation. My work have offered free 'Headspace' licenses for employees, I've applied for one of these!
  7. It was my therapist who actually suggested the medication once my therapy ended. I only received six sessions through a work assistance programme, I am on the waiting list for further therapy but I was told it would be months and now with this pandemic I imagine it will take forever. I agree with the online therapy point, I will look into it.
  8. Apologies in advance for the long post, I imagine many people have posted similar stories on here but I felt I just needed somewhere to vent. My ex(24/f) and I(28/m) of 1.5 years broke up roughly 6 months ago, initiated by her obviously. We argued a lot the last two months of the relationship and she ended things saying we were different people and she had fallen out of love with me. I understood her reasoning given the fights and different views, however, I also knew I had stopped taking interest and making as much as an effort with her, I tried to save our relationship and explain I woul
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