Jump to content

Emma135

Members
  • Posts

    1
  • Joined

Emma135's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

  • First Post
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later
  • One Year In

Recent Badges

1

Reputation

  1. I met my husband 5 years ago and have been married for almost 3. We have a 1.5 year old son together. We live a comfortable life financially. Our relationship the first few years was amazing. We had fun together, traveled and had basic arguments but overall we were happy. After marrying, we decided to wait a year before having children. We planned and shortly after our son was born. My husband has always been a wonderful father and I know he loves me. We have overcome some difficult situations together in the past. But lately, I feel as though all we ever do is fight and argue. There have been some changes recently as we moved and took different jobs before the virus lockdown and it all seems to have drastically worsened. We each handle situations very differently, he is very rational and I am the complete emotional opposite. Our main problem is that when something happens that is hurtful , I want my feelings acknowledged and not just shoved aside. Now I am not saying I want flowers and dramatics, etc but it is extremely important that my feelings are sincerely acknowledged and a simple apology. However, he immediately becomes defensive and takes a very(get over it) tone and pushes down my feelings and I have to really push for my feelings to be heard which in turns to constant escalated fights and arguments. I try to be reasonable and understanding. I don’t throw insults in his face or say curse words let alone try to raise my voice in front of my child. He can be so hot headed sometimes and can’t control his anger. He realizes he was rude , says he will never do it again, and repeats. It has become a cycle. I have stressed open communication and we have discussed how to move forward, why there are issues, and how to best fix them. After repeatedly forgiving him I am losing trust. I don’t know what else to do, if he doesn’t want to change I can’t force him to. I don’t want to stay in a marriage of constant fighting and arguing especially because I don’t want that for my child. It should be noted that my husband grew up in a similar family environment with his parents constantly fighting verbally and has issues as a result. I on the other hand grew up constantly being belittled and having my feelings mocked and ignored before finding my voice therefore I always feel the need to stand up for myself and be open and confident about how I feel. We each deal with our feelings differently, I just wish he was more empathetic and considerate of my feelings. I want our marriage to work. Am I being unreasonable for expecting this? Divorce does bad things to kids and I feel like I give him so many chances and am so forgiving because of our child. I almost feel like if we had no child maybe I would leave. I just feel stuck. I am tired of the constant arguing and it is really difficult for me to understand why he can’t just acknowledge my feelings instead of getting defense and going straight to “why don’t you just get over it? I don’t like feeling like my feelings don’t matter I am a person who needs to work through my emotions and if I can’t do that then I feel anxious and unhappy. it is seriously ruining our marriage.
×
×
  • Create New...