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Lili68

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  1. Please help me! I had successfull career which I build for 13 years and partnership businesses as well. I was running few companies worth millions. I met my current partner as he was a customer in one of the companies (always customers were a big no no for me but..). He was amazing , successful doctor.. single (nowadays decent people are usually taken). We fall in love and after a month together I had to make the choice of my life. He had to move to another city and I had the choice to follow him. Leaving behind my career , my businesses and my friends. I loved him so much , I could picture him as my future husband and I can picture having kids from him. I have never ever felt like that in my life , this is why I decided to leave money , power and career behind and follow the love of my life. Once we start living together , I got to know about his family. He is foreign so I am but from different countries. His mother out of the blue will start calling him and advising him that he is at marriage age, he has to chose his partner wisely (she didn’t have any idea about me, I was a secret), she said he must bring a virgin girl and she must be a doctor, plus she repeated that mothers know what is best for their sons. Imagine 2-3 hours conversation with his mum every day , what do you think will follow ? His mind and heart got poisoned by his own mum . He start hating me.. saying he hates me for my past (that I had previous boyfriends), I am 32 years old ?!?!? Does it matter people’s past , we live in the present and in the future. He started devaluating me every day , I start crying and crying,to be honest I don’t think I cried as much through out my whole lifetime. I felt helpless. My business partners got angry at me that I just left and they took everything from me. I knew one day may be I can take something back but it has to be done by court proceedings. So where were I.. I was alone , away from everything I knew and the love of my life emotionally devaluating me day by day.. if he doesn’t talk with his mother , he will be the same cute guy I fall in love with .. his mood start changing so drastically, from I love you to I hate you mood in minutes ... I couldn’t take it .. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong.. I become a proper housewife .. cleaning , ironing .. cooking ... before I never ever done that for myself. I learned how to cook his favourite meals , I lived for him ... but his moods swings start changing more more rapidly to the point I start thinking that dying is the best way out ... Six months into the relationship , through out a lot of horrible time, he decided that he hates me because I took his freedom away ?!? I couldn’t understand what exactly he meant because I didn’t stop him to go anywhere but with the time he explained that he had a few relationships with virgin girls and because he was their first they still wait for him.. so he wants to go and make sex with them occasionally, because he said he loved to feel in control over people .. that totally broke my heart , could you imagine, I deleted all my life for someone who not only treated me bad for no reason but now he wants to sleep with other women and this is okey if I want to be with him.. he said it is my choice , he knows it is unfair but that it is... I was devastated, the only reason I haven’t killed myself is because of my parents ... so then I decided to take things in my hands. Secretly I called my business partners and asked them that I want to come back , the only problem is that I did had past relations with one of my business partner and I knew he will come after me.. they promised I can have everything back and even more because at the end of the day they are grateful because I made them millionaires... My current partner is chasing me away from his flat every single day .. basically my baggage is packed and stays behind the front door.. when I cry cry and decide I have enough and want to go , he says sorry and stops me. Then I though that is not a normal behaviour and I start researching ... his symptoms describe like a proper text book the BPD even NBPD , because he thinks he is the best of all human beings ... his mum used to beat him really badly when he was little child and she used to abounded him in the middle of the night away from his home for couple of hours to teach him a lesson.. he was only 6 years old child .. so I think that she damaged him and screw his future . He is really dependent on her and follows her instructions perfectly. But I think because of her he has a temptation to treat women bad and be in control over them .. Last offer I have from him , is for me to have a child from him , but no one should know about it.. I should move out and leave alone and he will come and visit . He will play with the child and support it... so I asked what if he falls in love with someone else , because he will be living alone therefore he will be going out and stuff. He said that I shouldn’t control his feelings ! I really don’t know what to do.. I have never loved and cared anyone in my life like that ? If I go back home I have a chance to get my career back on track be successful again ... Before I had to chose career or love ... I chose love and see where I am .. jobless , away from everything I knew and treated like a junk, which I waiting to be thrown away every day ... Now choice is again career ... or love with no future .. ?! I am so confused and so scared. I feel like if I leave him I will die or something bad will happen ... please help me ! Many thanks
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