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Hurt Man

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  1. “ Accept that she is trying to erase you from her life” Lost, You have hit the nail on the head I guess, that is exactly what she is doing. I cannot bring myself to hate her, no matter how much hurt & pain she has caused me by doing this. I also had the doctors again today & I have now been prescribed antidepressants, which I do not really want to start taking (Prozac), as I have never ever needed anything like that to deal with things in my life, however, I am not coping well with things at all at the moment & I had a breakdown yesterday. I know that this is a relati
  2. I know Wiseman, it just seems like that it is a long way away at the moment. But you are right, hang in there, it’s all I can do at the moment. Thank you.
  3. Remember that saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" You are right Lost, I need to keep this in my head.
  4. I will try my best to take care of my health Wiseman, it’s my head that is a mess & as Lost said, I have to stop hoping for things to change on my ex’s behalf. I have to wait for the lawyers letter to her to see what happens next, but there is nothing to stop her just ignoring that also. However, I hope that she doesn’t, I have not physically seen in person & held & cuddled my boy since February & that is a horrible thing to feel. I just need to get my head together & face up to it, she is not going to come round to anything now & I need to tell myself to accep
  5. I understand what you are saying Lost, & You are correct, I just keep hoping that she will perhaps come round despite everything that she has done. It’s my fault I know, but despite everything, I find it hard to feel hate towards her like most people in my situation would, I am not like that & that’s my problem I guess. I do have to separate my feelings & emotions I feel towards her, as I did not plan to be feeling the way I feel now, I was not depressed or suffering from anxiety just 3 months ago & didn’t ever think that I would. Yet here we are. I do see some light at t
  6. I thought I would update on things. My ex has not replied to my email I sent 2 days ago regarding contact/FaceTime with my son. Just completely ignored again. This has set me back again, I am very very upset & hurt that she is doing this, it’s like I don’t exist to her anymore. I have spoken with a good lawyer & he is going to write to her regarding our baby boy & contact & take things from there. I also had the doctors & have been diagnosed with depression & anxiety. I have been recommended for therapy & if that doesn’t help, medication instead. I don’t
  7. Thank you Wiseman, that is exactly what I will say in the email tomorrow, tell her that I would like to make it at regular days & times that are convenient for her also. I also have not & will not mention her new guy, as that could cause trouble & I am aware of that & don’t want to do so. I am still deeply deeply hurting from this all, this morning I woke up @ 5:45am & could not get back to sleep at all, I think it’s possibly caused by the stress and anxiety of the last couple of months, as it’s been crazy the last 4-5 weeks, waking up at irregular times in the ea
  8. At the moment, the whole country is under lockdown, the government advice is “not to mix with anyone from another household, only family” (people you stay with) So, yes, everyone is under quarantine/isolating at the moment. She had been totally ignoring me until Sunday, as in nothing at all since we broke up, so she has been withholding contact. As for the couple of day’s since...I waited for her to call me today, as she said she would &....she didn’t. Now, I will email her tomorrow to ask her to call me then, so that I can see & speak to my boy again. I waited today because
  9. Hi Wiseman, I have not mentioned her new bf to her at all, I think I didn’t make that clear in my post on here yesterday, My fault there. That was me saying that she is obviously too busy with her new bf (not to her, or part of the original email), I should have worded that better. Apologies. I emailed her again this morning regarding our boy, Again, I kept it strictly about our boy only again & contact/seeing him on FaceTime, with no mention of her new guy whatsoever. I have never mentioned anything about him to her at all. Well, about 2 hours ago, I got a FaceTime call from her,
  10. Thank you Blue & Sherry. I have sent another email asking if it is possible to FaceTime me today to see my boy. Again, this was a cordial message. I hope that she does, but on the same coin, I don’t hold out much hope either because of the way she has been towards me. But, I will wait & see & update later on.
  11. I have not today, I am being ignored clearly now. I will try again tomorrow, as it’s Easter Sunday, but I am now not holding on to any hope of her responding. I told her yesterday in the email that it should be 50/50 contact & co-parenting regarding him & that I thought & expected that we would still be amicable about our boy. But, she is too engrossed in her new guy, he has practically moved into the house with her & I am not anywhere on her list of priorities any more, that’s quite obvious.
  12. Thank you Sherry, I understand what you are saying, I don’t want to feel like this forever, it just feels like it will, there is no light at the end of the tunnel just now. It is also not helped by the massive hole in me that has been left by her, compounded by her totally & utterly ignoring me & to top it all off, me not seeing my baby boy, that really does cut me deep. If I was a nasty person, then I would understand why things are the way they are, but I am not & I don’t understand why she is being like this, although the poster on here (Lost) explained it well when they sai
  13. Thanks for your words, I never ever thought that she would do anything like this & also treat me like this. I know that not all women would do that, I just never expected her to do such a thing, I honestly thought that we were good. It also doesn’t help that she stays at the other end of the street, so I cannot avoid seeing her new guy at the house. & I cannot believe that just 3 months ago, I was still there with her & our boy. I definitely do not feel like I want to get involved with anyone else in future, I am 40 years old now, that hurts me that I am in this situation
  14. I do have yes, my parents & family can’t really say anything more about it than what they have already said, my friends are also the same, they all have been & are supportive, but they are more than likely getting fed up listening to the same thing’s, so I didn’t bother them yesterday, I just had a cry on my own upstairs. Sorry, I don’t mean to go on, I am just up & down emotionally & it hurts me a lot, even trying not to think about it all, I cannot switch off from it. My life has fallen to pieces, 2020 has been a rubbish year this far. What also gets to me is, I was
  15. Well, it’s more or less been 24 hours since I emailed her & she has not bothered to reply back. This is hurting me a lot, I had a rubbish day yesterday with my feelings in general & I was upset about my boy, I am missing the little guy so much. I didn’t think that she would reply I guess, but part of me hoped that she would. I just need to try get through this weekend, which is not easy when this lockdown situation is happening, being alone with your thoughts 24/7 is definitely not a good thing. Thank you everyone.
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