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Everything posted by caligrl

  1. Thanks for the reply. Yes, the last year we have not moved forward. Our plan was to move in together this year. We usually do talk daily, but every now & then he throws what I call a mantrum and ignores me. The first two years we saw each other 3-4 times per week. Yes, I am feeling lonely. I do pretty much live the single life. My confusion is that I do love him and with all of this CV stuff happening I won't be dating anyone new for awhile. I'm fine being on my own since I already live alone, etc. I just don't know if it's the best time with all of the unknowns...or is that THE best time? LOL
  2. Thanks for the reply. That's exactly how it feels, not the same investment and that's why I was done and then he convinced me. SMH.
  3. Thanks for the reply. I also sensed he was trying to back off and I agree it is sad. He isn't afraid of me, though. There isn't chronic anger and arguing. If anything he is always saying how sweet, understanding and caring I am. It takes a lot to get me to the point of anger. I also wasn't meaning to threaten him, I assumed we were over since I hadn't heard anything and actually wanted my key back. He could have given it back when he was here, but he didn't. I was calm, there was no fighting, we had a mature conversation in person.
  4. After not hearing from him for 4 days & not seeing him for 2 weeks I assumed it was over. I texted him asking for my key back & that prompted texts, calls & him coming over. He seemed very sincere that he did not want things to end and was going to do better. I had never asked for my key back before. I guess the whole CV thing is making me reevaluate things again. This happened just a couple of weeks ago. The 4 days of silence were him being mad that I had said that not seeing him wasn't working for me. It had been over a week at that point with nothing major going on it didn't make sense.
  5. First off, I completely understand what you mean, I hate that, too. What do you mean by awhile to message back? Not cool of your friends to do that behind your back. 1. They shouldn't be doing things behind your back 2. It makes you look bad and desperate. I know they probably had good intentions, but still. Did he say why you couldn't talk? I'm guessing due to your friends. Did you have sex when you met? IDK why he would say you can't talk and then wish you a HBD. The no response again after makes me think he's just not interested.
  6. Thanks for the reply. It's not really that type of business, he used to have employees, etc. Now he works for himself. He is naturally private and we are both very independent people. At over 3 years, though some of this is common sense/courtesy. Yes, I have learned with him to choose my battles and this is one I've chosen lol. Effective communication is key, so it's not even the quantity. Although not coming around for 2 weeks and no texts or calls for 4 days was extreme. I think the key there is EX husband. My ex husband was the opposite so I'm not asking for that. I do agree that it's not every day we meet someone special, but we also can't hold onto the good if they become so few and far between...
  7. Thanks for the reply. I think you're misunderstanding what I said. He DOES always text "gm babe". Neither of us text and drive. Again, not asking him to risk his life or anything crazy. SMH I am referring to (before CV) when he knew he'd be unavailable all weekend that he could simply communicate that. His parent is not ill now, at one point one was and he didn't tell me or text for 2 days, I understood that & everyone deals with things in their own way. I more wanted to make sure he was okay and know what was happening in his life to be supportive, etc. Most people (even men) have their phones and are on SM all the time. He is on it even in the bathroom. Not demanding, but I do have boundaries. What almost ended us right before the CV hit was him not coming around for 2 weeks & not texting for 4 days. That is unacceptable. When he did reach out (I did not text for 3 days) it was a bunch of heart emojis. Nothing major had happened. So, yes, we are good in person, but you can't sustain a relationship on that. Coming from someone who's been married & shared a life for many years with someone. It's not that I WANT to end it, when you love someone you don't want to, but that doesn't mean it's meant for you. I was simply venting and looking for some experience and/or guidance in the area.
  8. Sorry if you're getting judgment from all of this. I think it's a valid question. Personally, I would be okay if I was already dating the person & had been exposed to them. Since everything is closed, I'd be fine with Netflix, dinner in, etc. I don't see anything wrong with talking to people/online dating right now to build a friendship to meet someone new when all of this is over, either.
  9. How long has she been out of that relationship? Do they have kids together?
  10. I was mirroring when all of this CV hit. Before I replied much quicker, etc. I don't say text me or any of what you listed. I think some of this is funny...people take showers and have lives, as if I don't. LOL Thanks, though.
  11. It's more a heart investment/love than it is the time. I walked away from a much longer relationship before this. I have tried, but it's not even a style to just read and ignore someone. What I've said to him was, if we have an issue and I knew I was going to see him soon, I'd wait and talk in person. However, if I see him once a week then that isn't always possible. He has plenty of space since we don't see each other that much or live together. I guess I should also add that I work FT, have an active social life, etc. There are days when we are both busy so we just say "gm babe" in the morning before work, work all day & then text a bit at night...and that is okay. My biggest issue is reading & ignoring, especially when there's an issue. I am not by any means asking him to constantly text all day.
  12. I want him to communicate when something is going on & not ignore me for days, not change him. I'm not asking for much. I am always busy with other things. Before all of this CV thing, I had work, friends, a very active social life, etc. I didn't wait around on him, I did what I wanted, but have been exclusive with him. It has nothing to do with staying busy.
  13. The longest is 4 days, which happened once. About once every 6 months he'll go 1-2 days.
  14. You aren't being shown that he values you. Why continue on with someone that doesn't give a chit? I think you've come to realize that being in a relationship where you're not being shown your value is much more lonelier than being alone. No? Yes, exactly and this is a really tough time as is.
  15. The longest is 4 days, which happened once. About once every 6 months he'll go 1-2 days.
  16. Yes, he has confirmed, that's the issue is he's said he will do it and hasn't. I have changed behaviors for our relationship, but the no communication for days is not one I'm willing to accept & I've told him that. So, that's where I wonder if it's best to just walk away.
  17. Yes this is the worst time to have communication issues. I accept him for who he is, his personality, etc. However these are behavioral issues, which he could change if he wanted to and worked on them. He has always had a hard time expressing himself, but it has gotten worse the past year as far as not responding goes. He says it's because he hates arguing over text however him not responding is what causes the arguing.
  18. Thanks for the reply. I agree and I've made sacrifices and changes for the better of the relationship, but he keeps falling into the same patterns.
  19. Thanks for the reply. I mean not making behavior changes and not responding to texts. I love him & it's been over 3 years is why I've been hanging on.
  20. Thanks for the reply. This is the point I was at a couple of weeks ago, before this whole thing got so big. He was doing better. Also been over 3 years. I am torn between sticking out this whole CV thing to see if it wakes him up or just being done.
  21. Thanks for the reply. The short version: Been dating a guy for over 3 years, but we do not live together. He isn't the best communicator and it's taken a toll on our relationship. I usually get the "gm babe" text every morning, we text off & on throughout the day, we text at night, he calls while driving, etc. However, when something is going on with him, he shuts down. This could be something as little as him being irritated or as big as a parent being ill. He will just stop responding to me. I've brought it up many times and each time he says he is working on it. In person we are great, we get along, laugh, he is kind, loving, etc. I see him 1-2 times per week, usually once. He has his own business, so he has a busy yet flexible schedule. Mine is somewhat flexible, but I don't work for myself. We recently were at a crossroads where I told him it just wasn't working for me anymore, that I want more. He did not want to end it, we agreed to try. He was great afterwards and kept his word. Well, that was a few weeks ago. Now all of this is going on with CV & I feel he's already going back to his old ways. Yesterday he said he was "trapped at home". We aren't on lockdown, but have a "stay at home" order & aren't supposed to gather in large groups. Not only do I think it's an excuse, but he also barely texted & quit responding around 6pm.
  22. I'm a Sagi dating a Virgo, it's been over 3 years. I have this issue still. In person we are great, but he is horrible at communicating. Sometimes he'll text all day off & on, others he won't respond to me. The longest he's ever gone was 4 days, usually when he's mad, once when his dad was ill. I'm younger as well and I don't think that's the issue. I know what you mean by the chemistry, it makes it very hard. I'm sorry you're going through this, too. I have a friend who's been married to a Virgo for many years and she has the same issues, but at least she lives with him. I don't.
  23. How many times can you talk to someone about the same issues and be ignored? How long can you wait? I find myself alone during all of this going on in the world and I shouldn't be after being in a relationship for over 3 years. I just feel so alone in it all. Do I hang in through this or just let go? Thanks for reading.
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