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caligrl

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  1. Thanks for the reply. Yes, the last year we have not moved forward. Our plan was to move in together this year. We usually do talk daily, but every now & then he throws what I call a mantrum and ignores me. The first two years we saw each other 3-4 times per week. Yes, I am feeling lonely. I do pretty much live the single life. My confusion is that I do love him and with all of this CV stuff happening I won't be dating anyone new for awhile. I'm fine being on my own since I already live alone, etc. I just don't know if it's the best time with all of the unknowns...or is that THE best time? LOL
  2. Thanks for the reply. That's exactly how it feels, not the same investment and that's why I was done and then he convinced me. SMH.
  3. Thanks for the reply. I also sensed he was trying to back off and I agree it is sad. He isn't afraid of me, though. There isn't chronic anger and arguing. If anything he is always saying how sweet, understanding and caring I am. It takes a lot to get me to the point of anger. I also wasn't meaning to threaten him, I assumed we were over since I hadn't heard anything and actually wanted my key back. He could have given it back when he was here, but he didn't. I was calm, there was no fighting, we had a mature conversation in person.
  4. After not hearing from him for 4 days & not seeing him for 2 weeks I assumed it was over. I texted him asking for my key back & that prompted texts, calls & him coming over. He seemed very sincere that he did not want things to end and was going to do better. I had never asked for my key back before. I guess the whole CV thing is making me reevaluate things again. This happened just a couple of weeks ago. The 4 days of silence were him being mad that I had said that not seeing him wasn't working for me. It had been over a week at that point with nothing major going on it didn't make sense.
  5. First off, I completely understand what you mean, I hate that, too. What do you mean by awhile to message back? Not cool of your friends to do that behind your back. 1. They shouldn't be doing things behind your back 2. It makes you look bad and desperate. I know they probably had good intentions, but still. Did he say why you couldn't talk? I'm guessing due to your friends. Did you have sex when you met? IDK why he would say you can't talk and then wish you a HBD. The no response again after makes me think he's just not interested.
  6. Thanks for the reply. It's not really that type of business, he used to have employees, etc. Now he works for himself. He is naturally private and we are both very independent people. At over 3 years, though some of this is common sense/courtesy. Yes, I have learned with him to choose my battles and this is one I've chosen lol. Effective communication is key, so it's not even the quantity. Although not coming around for 2 weeks and no texts or calls for 4 days was extreme. I think the key there is EX husband. My ex husband was the opposite so I'm not asking for that. I do agree that it's not every day we meet someone special, but we also can't hold onto the good if they become so few and far between...
  7. Thanks for the reply. I think you're misunderstanding what I said. He DOES always text "gm babe". Neither of us text and drive. Again, not asking him to risk his life or anything crazy. SMH I am referring to (before CV) when he knew he'd be unavailable all weekend that he could simply communicate that. His parent is not ill now, at one point one was and he didn't tell me or text for 2 days, I understood that & everyone deals with things in their own way. I more wanted to make sure he was okay and know what was happening in his life to be supportive, etc. Most people (even men) have their phones and are on SM all the time. He is on it even in the bathroom. Not demanding, but I do have boundaries. What almost ended us right before the CV hit was him not coming around for 2 weeks & not texting for 4 days. That is unacceptable. When he did reach out (I did not text for 3 days) it was a bunch of heart emojis. Nothing major had happened. So, yes, we are good in person, but you can't sustain a relationship on that. Coming from someone who's been married & shared a life for many years with someone. It's not that I WANT to end it, when you love someone you don't want to, but that doesn't mean it's meant for you. I was simply venting and looking for some experience and/or guidance in the area.
  8. Sorry if you're getting judgment from all of this. I think it's a valid question. Personally, I would be okay if I was already dating the person & had been exposed to them. Since everything is closed, I'd be fine with Netflix, dinner in, etc. I don't see anything wrong with talking to people/online dating right now to build a friendship to meet someone new when all of this is over, either.
  9. How long has she been out of that relationship? Do they have kids together?
  10. I was mirroring when all of this CV hit. Before I replied much quicker, etc. I don't say text me or any of what you listed. I think some of this is funny...people take showers and have lives, as if I don't. LOL Thanks, though.
  11. It's more a heart investment/love than it is the time. I walked away from a much longer relationship before this. I have tried, but it's not even a style to just read and ignore someone. What I've said to him was, if we have an issue and I knew I was going to see him soon, I'd wait and talk in person. However, if I see him once a week then that isn't always possible. He has plenty of space since we don't see each other that much or live together. I guess I should also add that I work FT, have an active social life, etc. There are days when we are both busy so we just say "gm babe" in the morning before work, work all day & then text a bit at night...and that is okay. My biggest issue is reading & ignoring, especially when there's an issue. I am not by any means asking him to constantly text all day.
  12. I want him to communicate when something is going on & not ignore me for days, not change him. I'm not asking for much. I am always busy with other things. Before all of this CV thing, I had work, friends, a very active social life, etc. I didn't wait around on him, I did what I wanted, but have been exclusive with him. It has nothing to do with staying busy.
  13. The longest is 4 days, which happened once. About once every 6 months he'll go 1-2 days.
  14. You aren't being shown that he values you. Why continue on with someone that doesn't give a chit? I think you've come to realize that being in a relationship where you're not being shown your value is much more lonelier than being alone. No? Yes, exactly and this is a really tough time as is.
  15. The longest is 4 days, which happened once. About once every 6 months he'll go 1-2 days.
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