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CJ11

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  1. Thank you for your advice, this is logical and i think my best course of action. I do need time as my emotions are still running high.
  2. How did it work out for you?
  3. Thank you for your advice, it is exactly what i came on to this forum for.
  4. Thank you for your responses, i am really stuck and gives me more to think about.
  5. I have recently had an affair come to an end. I have been married for 16 years and have 3 children. Up until my affair started about 10 months ago i had not cheated on my wife. The girl i had an affair with is married with 2 children, she has had a previous affair but cut it off before we got together. I met her a few years prior to the affair starting and we got on really well, i fancied her but knew we were both married with kids so left it well alone. About 10 months ago we bumped into each other on a night out in town, she propositioned me after a few drinks but nothing happened. I couldnt help think about it non stop from that moment on. And the following monday i contacted her, things progressed from there. We would message each other daily flirting and getting on and occasionally meeting up. After about 4 months we had sex and to be honest it was a disaster, however we would continue to message flirt and meet. We had sex again and each time it would improve. We also both tried to bring the affair to an end a number of times, but always ended getting back together. We have so many different opinions about stuff and argued lots, in fact more than i have in the 18 years with my spouse. Despite all of that i just couldnt let her go and she was the same with me. Then what is the danger with all affairs we ended up falling in love with each other. We talked at length about what our future together would be like. We are not bad people and know this will destroy our spouses and families. We dont want our familes to know we are cheats its not the right thing for our children to believe, and subsequently i find i am trying to sabotage my marriage, it is not fair on my wife either. The other girl has told me she is willing to leave her husband and family to be with me but only after a period of seperation from her husband. She wants me to do the same, i want to do the same but struggle with the guilt and the pain i will inflict on my family. I prefered to confess to the affair and accept the consequences for my actions. The other girl doesnt want us to do that and because i cannot give her a time frame for when i will leave my wife, we are finished. I am devastated and feel like a coward, i am confused but know it is unfair to stay with my wife as she deserves someone who loves her properly. I do love the other girl and want to be with her i just dont know what is the right thing to do.
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