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  1. That’s heart wrenching. I’m sorry that happened to you. It really hurts. I just couldn’t get over it and was afraid I was weak for not having the capacity to forgive. He really took care of me and is the nicest guy I’ve ever met. But you’re right, the trust...no matter what he does now, I will always question his intent.
  2. You are an absolute angel. I can go down the rabbit hole of what if’s but I saved your response into my phone so I can keep looking at it to remind myself haha! I will stick to the fact that we had a discussion and he strayed from that agreement. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out. *hugs*
  3. Yeah! Something did make me ask in the first place and I was right. I was afraid it was my insecurities at first but I think maybe we aren’t fundamentally compatible? In the sense of dating/sleeping with multiple people at once and exposing your sexual partner to STDs and not letting them know!
  4. I had this weird feeling that he wasn’t quite sincere. I was anxious around him and I even tried to end things before we became exclusive but he begged me to stay. So I decided to stick it out a bit and see how I felt. I thought it was my insecurities coming out but I don’t know. He didn’t make me feel at ease subconsciously. I felt like he was a player. But in the beginning of a relationship, when you’re just dating, is it ok to be doing those things? I don’t know. Maybe I was just too insecure with myself.
  5. Yes! Thank you! I emphasized to them that my health was put at risk and they didn’t think it was a big deal. Makes me worry about them!
  6. I felt so guilty for not being able to trust him because he has such great qualities (family oriented, hard working, very kind, generous, patient, understanding), everything that I’m looking for in a partner. But deep down, something felt off. I thought it was my insecurities at first but his indiscretion confirmed my gut instincts. What a scary yet fascinating thing.
  7. I see that I may have had some miscommunication issues too and wasn’t clear myself. If I like someone in the future, I will definitely have a discussion with them prior to getting intimate to see if they feel the same way. Thank you so much your helpful advice!
  8. Thank you so much for your support! I can cry tears of relief. I was really conflicted for a long time and it’s really nice to know that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. Especially because people close to me said I should give him a free pass.
  9. Thank you everyone for all your help. This is such a great and supportive community with honest and straightforward advice. Next time, I will date for a while and talk about exclusivity before getting intimate.
  10. Thank you for this. I was feeling so guilty for wanting to let him go because of his qualities but I know myself, I can't trust him anymore. Also, my friends say it was before we were exclusive so basically, it was ok in their eyes, which made me feel even more conflicted. But you're right. I felt that I only wanted to be with him even while we were dating and I want someone to feel that way about me, too, just like you and your husband. Thank you!
  11. He was really trying. He was very open with me, gave me all his passwords, etc. But I just can't get over it. It hurts too much but then I feel guilty because is it a weakness that I can't forgive and forget? He's otherwise a great person but I just don't have the capacity to forgive ):
  12. I asked him and he told me the truth. He said he didn't want to start off our relationship with lies. If I hadn't asked him, he would have never told me but he also could've lied and he didn't. Oh another thing, when we had the sexual exclusivity talk, I had us both get tested so that we could be intimate without a condom. So when he went off and slept with someone else after we had that discussion and after getting tested, it was a double whammy. He told me he used a condom with her... Yeah, I'm sad that that happened because it seemed like there was so much potential for us.
  13. We are both in our mid-twenties. A few weeks into sleeping with each other, we had a discussion that if we slept with anyone else, we would tell each other. And we also both said we wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. I brought it up because I knew we weren’t exclusive yet but I was worried about STDs and I wanted to make it clear. He asks me to be his girlfriend a month later and a week into being exclusive, I find out he slept with someone else a few weeks after we had that sexual exclusivity discussion. I was very upset and I told him I wanted to break up. He cried and begged me to stay, said he’s not like that at all and that she didn’t mean anything to him. He said he was just horny and he didn’t know where our relationship was going and he also said he didn’t really know me. I still don’t think that’s an excuse. Otherwise, he’s a really great guy and we clicked immediately with instant chemistry and I was really hopeful about him and our future. I felt like it was a breach of trust. Technically not cheating, I get it because we weren’t exclusive but we did have a discussion and he hid it from me. Did I do the right thing by breaking things off? Would you feel betrayed too? A part of me feels guilty because it was just so natural and easy between us until that incident. Also, once we were official, he turned down her advances as I saw thru his text messages to her when he showed me.
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