demaco

I am not sure if I am gonna post this, but I think it is my responsibility to keep it updated. this should be my last post here, and before I go on I would like to thank everyone who has been so patient with me for the past week. I went to the party, things were completely different than I thought it would be, I do not understand how his behaviour could be totally different from how he used to treat me, he was cold, arrogant and without a smile, I was left alone the whole night, while he was away talking to girls. However, I am glad there was someone I know, so I wouldnt look so stupid. There are lots of wonders in my mind now, but I think it doesnt matter anymore. I remember someone said before that being gay is not easy at all, and I guess life is gonna be tough for me for the rest of my life

souki!, thanks alot I am enlightened now. Well, I went to his room yesterday, he has some hot girls pinups on the wall, the room is somewhat tidy and well organised, smells fresh too, unlike the rest of his guys roomates. I am not suggesting anything here, I'm gay and my room is somewhat messy, but what I am trying to say is I think he is straight. I am sad that my radar is so off, I can never sense the right one. In your reply, you mentioned that the eager recipient might perceive signals wrongly, I tried to think it over again, I do not think I am desperate or something but he does give me eye contacts all the time, he would turn his head over and glanced at me several times while we were in the lab, and today he was handing me something and he hold my hand, when I think about it, It seems weird enough that a straight guy would touch another guys hand? Iwould want to have as little as physical contact as possible with the ladies or guys i dont like, it's just something tht makes one feel uncomfortable. dont you think so? He mentioned again today that we should really hang out on friday nite like get drunk or get some girls? and he even reminded me to call him? I believe that when u are infatuated with someone, u tend to make a mountain out of every molehill; again am i having wishful thinking syndrome here? I am not sure if i really love him, NOR I am habouring any sexual fantasy on him. I just wanna spend alot of time with him. again, thanks alot, You have shown me the lights when I am lost in darkness.

NO i am not publicly out. But in one of my blog, on the "looking for" I put male and female. Shouldnt that be an indication too?

I wish I am at the by area! free culture , nice food. But I am stuck here in the midwest Initially, I didnt think he is interested in me, but i met him in the male locker room once and we became friend after that, the vibe was more intense after that, see I hope I am not having wishful thinking syndrome. But I could sense his affection, like the constant eye contact, the chemistry when I was with him. So, do u think he is just being overly friendly?

Well, do I look gay? No I dont think so, I consider my dressing moderately stylish, but I go for brand name sometimes. About this dude, He is a big fans of certain brand names too. But that does mean he is gay? I think it is stereotypical to generalise stylish guy to be gay, I have seen alot of stylish dressing guys who are straight. He is only 20 years old, dont you think it is a little early to come out? I meant I am 23 and I would not even know what I wanted when I was 20. I think I will go to the party and see what will turn out. I will let you know! lol

Thanks for the reply! I was contemplating on whether should I give up, but I trust your instinct. Girls normally have sharper instinct than an average gay boy. LMAO

Today I met him in class again, he came in with a girl and sat next to her, I was sitting behind, They were chatting and laughing, but i noticed he would turn his head over and took a glimpse on me several times. We talked after the class, he told me to go to a party and emphasized that I shouldbe there, he also said that he wanted to get on with the girl whom he has been talking to in the class. i wish i could quit him but i keep on getting mixed/false signals from him. Please tell me what to do? I am onthe edge of going lunatic.

first of all, I would like to apologise if this topic sounds corny, I know this is an never ending problem faced by alot of gay people and I just happen to be one of them. I am 24 years old engineering senior, I consider myself good looking as I have been getting compliments. All this while i am hiding my identity in closet , I am very discreet and never had any relationship before. recently, I am seeing one guy in my class, we are taking the same class with the same lab, I am not just someone who falls in and out of love easily, but this dude is really driving me nuts. it all started during early january 2005, I met him in a lab, he was sitting right accross me and I always caught him staring at me and when i looked back he turned away. It happened so many times until one day we were told to switch seats, coincidentlly, he sat next to me, we started talking after that, we became friend and he even sits next to me during the lecture. It seems to me that there was an instant hit off- i might be wrong - but I could sense that I am getting his attention all the time, Sometimes I can sense that he is looking at me while I was talking to other people. Well, the problem is I am not sure if he is gay or not, altho alot of his previous behavior may suggest he would be quite the cliche expected. Ever since that day, our friendship took a step closer from just pure acquaintanceship. His natural loquaciousness makes him a chatterbox, we talk about alot of things, including girls, sports, life etc. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I would like to move a step closer to him, he can be so nice to talk to. there was once when we were on the phone, he suddenly asked me how did i do on my test which i dont even remember. everything seems to fine, until one day i realise i have fallen in love with him, I love to be with him all the time but I know it sounds gay to alot of straight guy- if he is straight. He often talks about how hot some sorority girls can be, he told me he has been single for the past 3 years since high school, this makes me wonder if he is really straight? we spent more time together recently as he told me to keep him companied in library till midnight as we were having exam. i turned him down as i didnt wanna make it look so gay. I know i have turned down a great opportunity to be with him. I guess the reason I did what I did because I was afraid I would be getting false signal again, So I took a girl friend- jenn with me that night and we sat right behind him. jenn and me were making laughter during the study session and I noticed that he would turned his head back and looked at me and wondering what we were talking about. See, I am really wondering If I am getting false/mixed signals or I am seeing things in a way I want to see? Please help me, i dont know how to deal with him anymore!!