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greeksalad

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About greeksalad

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  1. Just an update... found out this morning that the get-together started early (around 10am) and was going through the night. When it came down to it, I decided not to go. I had been under the impression that it was just going to be the hours of like 4pm-9pm or something like that. It is now after 1am and my husband is still at the gathering trying to get the kids to go to sleep. I have never been happier with a decision... thanks again to all for your thoughtful responses.
  2. I would say something along the lines of, "It's kind of a special tradition we have, but want to grab coffee the next day?" I always think it's a little strange when people ask for an invitation.
  3. Thanks everyone for your responses. My FIL was helping my husband with something in our fenced-in backyard last summer, and my husband gave him a spare key during that month so he could come and go at his convenience. I was fine with it, for that month. Since then, my husband has asked for the key back, but his dad blows up at him and says he should have a key to our home anyway. He walks into our house all the time and it's been a huge issue. He made a copy of his key and gave it to my SIL when she was in town because she said she was going to stop by, but didn't feel like letting us know. I'
  4. Ugh, so validating. Thank you. Thank you to everyone for your responses... I am probably going to suck it up and go to the gathering this weekend. It's just one day. One VERY LONG day haha, but I can handle that. All of this has honestly made me so grateful for my family. My brother would never treat anyone I love with any disrespect, and I would correct him immediately if he ever did. That's the other thing... a few have mentioned that my husband should confront her, and he did, about a year ago. It was over text so I'm not sure exactly what was said, but it was not effective. The same thing
  5. That sounds very excessive and frustrating. I had a similar friend in the past that I just wasn't compatible with in the end. Take it as a reminder to check in with those you love and ask them how they're doing, and when you're excited about something good in your life, approach others with it with sensitivity and not a boastful attitude. The other thing I'm wondering is if she's actually struggling with her recent breakup and is trying to pass things off like everything is great and she's happier single. Maybe that really is the case, but she could be overcompensating for something. What's
  6. Oh, no no! I should have clarified. I have always been very warm with her and offer her things, but she usually turns her nose up. I always, always offer guests whatever there is in the house, and always immediately greet them with a bubbly attitude, even when they show up unannounced. This is how I was raised. But this is ignored; she doesn't look my way, and often acts like she's too good for it. It's like she pretends I don't exist. At one of the last get-togethers we had at their parents' house, she and I were in the kitchen alone, she opened a bottle of wine, poured herself a glass and cl
  7. My partner is 22 years my senior, and this has been a huge issue for us. I don't really have any great advice unfortunately, but I'm here with you. 31 seems a little young to be dealing with this problem physically, so I'm wondering if it's a mental thing. Maybe he's under a lot of pressure at work, etc. You've been together for 2 years, but how long has this been going on? My parents are 8 years apart, and my grandparents were a whopping 32 years apart, so age gap relationships have always been the norm for me. This wasn't a problem I thought I would ever have to deal with in my 20s, and i
  8. I would definitely not describe this as "a very small thing to have happened." My husband's father was physically abusive to him and to his mother for many years, also was also a very serious alcoholic. My husband started to go down this path years before I met him, but he's now 10 years sober. If alcohol invites physical violence, I think your husband should consider sobriety, or taking a break from drinking and take a hard look at his behavior and psychology. My husband's father never changed. He comes around all the time and shows a lack of respect to everyone around him. He screams at my h
  9. Thank you for your response - he told me about a year ago, when I asked him about her behavior toward me, that she said I was too young. After I heard that, I was discouraged, so I decided to take initiative and invite her to drinks to get to know her better. I thought it went well, but when the night was over, she went right back to treating me the same.
  10. Yep, my husband and I are extremely close with my parents and we drive 6 hours to visit them almost every month (usually per his request, as he is incredibly close with my father).
  11. Thank you all for your thoughtful comments -- I should mention since someone mentioned 'the other people in the room' that the rest of the family isn't very redeeming. My husband has a very poor relationship with his father, who abused him and his mother when he was growing up, and the father is very rude as well. His mother is very kind but doesn't speak much English so it can be hard to carry on a conversation together for very long. At these get-togethers, my husband usually spends the whole time with the kids, which I don't love to be a part of, leaving me with the insufferable adults. He
  12. I didn't mean start an irrelevant fight to get out of it -- I meant that he might be upset if I don't go. Thank you for your comment.
  13. I have been with my husband for a few years, and met his sister for the first time 2 years ago (she lives across the country). My husband and I have a significant age gap, but had already been together well over a year when I met her. She did not take me seriously and did not pretend to. She walked into our home without knocking and opened the fridge and poured herself a drink. I had been very nervous to meet her and she did not look in my direction or address me, only speaking to my husband. Over the years, every time I see her, I expect things to get better thinking that she'll take me se
  14. It sounds like you might not be super interested. Maybe tell him that you'd like to take a step back if you don't feel ready to let go commit the way he might be ready to. You sound very sweet and like you have only good intentions, but leading someone on can end up hurting them much more than letting them go at this stage. Good luck! :)
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