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ajanderson32's Achievements


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  1. I have told her i like her, and she is the one who has told me she doesn't like me in that manner. However i like her and keep allowing her to corss the boundaries of just being friends
  2. I finally put my foot down with a girl I've been talking to for the last 7 months. I posted on here a while ago regarding the situation, and basically it was a lot of mixed signals. We continued to be intimate despite agreeing to just stay friends, we agreed to not be intimate anymore because of confusion, but we ended up having sex 4 more times, with her initiating it every time and me letting it happen. She kept coming back for more and asking me if i was talking to anyone and if i was talking to anyone else/trying to make her jealous. She knows i like her and would continue to find ways to cross boundaries despite us trying to be just friends. It was really starting to drain me, so a couple weeks ago i texted her telling her why i was confused, why she kept coming back to me for sex, and why she was acting jealous/sending these mixed signals when she told me she doesn't like me in that manner. She said that she is sexually comfortable with me, and that the questions she asked me about other girls/her being jealous was just a joke. I don't know why a girl would joke about that stuff, especially to a guy who she knows likes her. A few of her friends reached out to me unexpectedly, and told me she is bad at expressing her emotions and is insecure. After this conversation we had, i was still confused. I don't know if she was even being honest about it being a joke or not, I've never heard of a girl doing that before. We haven't talked much since then. Actually, before this conversation we used to talk every day, sometimes all day and late into the night. She has reacted me to trying to be distant in the past as well, it really is a lot of confusing signals she's been sending me. I've gotten to know her really well, and she knows me really well too. I still really like her, and I've been in denial about it for a while. After our conversation and me drawing the line, we haven't really talked at all. However, she does send me random texts and snapchats every now and then, but doesn't reply back when i respond. It's been nice taking a break, but i eventually want to reach out to her again soon. She is NOT the only girl i talk to, but i am closer to her than many others. I still casually hookup occasionally with other people, and talk to other girls daily. However i do like this girl a lot. Why is she sending so many mixed signals? What should i do from here on out?
  3. Long story short, a girl and I were in a pretty confusing situation. We were friends with benefits but as it commonly occurs, it got confusing and we decided to stick with just being friends. We got really close over a short amount of time and ended up hooking up 4 more times after that. After we finally drew the line, she would still continue to cross boundaries. I was going to a party that a couple of her friends were at, and she told me "don't get swooped up by my hot a** friends". Another night, she randomly texted me and asked me if I was talking to anybody trying to make her jealous. Once again I just didn't know how to respond. Yes, I did like her, and I liked her a lot. She knew I liked her, and I was so thrown off and confused as to why she was saying that stuff. I wasn't wishful thinking, but I didn't know why she would even consider saying those things if she didn't like me. It just didn't make sense. So last night, I texted and asked her why she was doing this, and that it was confusing me. She said she was saying those things as a joke. She was like 'I didn't know it was that confusing for you'. The way she was responding was like she was trying to make me feel stupid. But I had no idea she was joking. I've never had a girl joke about that stuff, let alone send mixed signals for such a long time. Is it just me, or if a girl says that to a guy like in my situation , isn't that a little confusing? Why would a girl do that? I'm just kinda surprised and caught off guard. What do you guys think? I really want to wrap my head around this...
  4. A girl and I met this year. We hung out and hooked up pretty frequently. We agreed to be 'friends with benefits'. We never established any boundaries, but i assumed we were both on the same page. her and I ended up talking all day, every day. Getting to know each other pretty fast, and neither of us realized. I started to like this girl, and still do to this day. She was showing every sign in the book that she wanted to date me. She was calling me her man to her friends, bragging about me, and calling me late at night to talk. We would hangout and not hookup too, we pretty much did everything. I started to become confused, because it did not feel like strictly friends with benefits at all. So, i talked to her. I told her why i was confused, and that i was unsure of what we were. She told me that we should not hookup anymore, because there were feelings and emotions between us, those are her words that she told me. I agreed. The very next weekend, and 3 more weekends after that, her and i hooked up. We kept hooking up with her initiating it every time. I was even more confused at this point. I asked her what was going on between us, and she said she feels comfortable around me in that way, sexually. However, she keeps telling me how much she loves my company and our friendship. She doesn't want to get involved in a relationship with anybody right now, and neither do i. I personally am NOT ready for anything, but yet i still like and am attracted to her. She acts the same way. She recently went to japan for 3 weeks for a class she is taking. We talked everyday while she was gone. She told me 'you talking to anyone trying to make me jealous?'. She also is reactive when i try to back off and respect boundaries since we are not together. This has been going on for almost 6 months now. She also tells me to not get swooped up by people, yet still tells me we are still only friends. She talks about me a lot, apparently. She is dealing with as lot personally, and opens up to me about a lot of personal matters. I am currently trying to be what she needs, which is a friend. I am also working on myself personally, trying to become more secure and improve my overall physical and mental health. However, if these mixed signals keep happening, i don't know how long i can deal with it. I don't want to lose her, at all. But I've told her countless times about boundaries, yet she continues to cross them at times. It messes with my head. What do you guys think?
  5. Hello all. I posted on this forum a while ago about a girl who I'm in a weird situation with. We were friends with benefits for a while, hooking up essentially, and a lot. We go to college together, both seniors, and ended up getting really close. She started calling me her man, talking to me about personal stuff, and was telling her friends about me, talking about me a lot. I was confused, so I talked to her. I didn't mind what she was doing, but she was holding me to a relationship standard when we were not officially dating/exclusive. I had started to like her too, and she was acting like she was starting to like me. She told me that there are feelings and emotions between us, and that we shouldn't hookup anymore. We hooked up 3 more times after that. When that stopped, she would still come over to cuddle/sleep over and hangout with me doing normal things. She says she loves how we have gotten close on a deeper and emotional level, and doesn't want to confuse me. She was in a very toxic relationship all of college, until this year. She doesn't want a relationship with anyone for now. I don't either, but I question how healthy this 'friendship' with her is to me, because I like her, and it's draining sometimes, she sends a lot mixed signals, and she knows that I like her. She asked me last week to find her a guy. I was pretty confused, and told her no. She also started sending me screenshots of texts from other guys hitting on her/trying to ask her out. I don't know if that's normal, but I sent her a text the other night saying how that stuff negatively effects me, and we should stop if that continues. She was extremely sorry, and her reasoning was that she was just trying to 'Keep me updated on what was going on in her life'. In my position, it really seems like she tries to get reactions out of me/make me jealous. I was thrown off by it. She also asked if she should ever tell me if she starts talking to someone, and I said that's her decision. She disagreed and said no it's not my decision "because I don't want to not tell you and you be upset". I never said I'd ever be upset with her, and she keeps acting like she cares A LOT about how I feel. She told me if we end up dating in the future, she would try with me. We used to be intimate a lot, hangout all the time, and ended up getting really close. Now, we are in a weird spot. I feel like she doesn't want to admit she likes me (if she does), or is unsure/just emotionally confused. I don't know why I care so much..but I do. I want some insight on what I could do from this point forward
  6. Hello all, I will try to be brief. Long story short, a girl and I go to college together and are both seniors. We didn't talk or hangout at all until this semester. We hooked up, and agreed to be friends with benefits. Things got confusing. She started sending signals that she was starting to like me, even though we agreed to keep it at friends with benefits. I started to like her too, and I talked to her about it. When I told her i liked her, she said "there are feelings and emotions between us" and that we shouldn't hookup anymore, because she valued how we had grown closer "on a deeper and emotional level". She continues to text, snapchat, and even facetime me. She comes over and even sleeps over. We cuddle, and she falls asleep in my arms and tells me how good of a cuddler and kisser I am. Even though we agreed to not hookup anymore, we ended up hooking up 3 more times after we talked. It's not the intimacy that confuses me, but it's everything in between. She's the one who began sending these mixed signals, and I began thinking she was starting to like me. After we would hookup, she would stay over for the rest of the day. We would lie in bed, talk, and hangout. We grew pretty close for just being 'F buddies'. We have been intimate A LOT. She continues to talk to me and flirt with me, in person and over text. She playfully cracks jokes at me, teases me, and continues to come over and hangout. Her and I aren't ready to be in a committed relationship yet, but i still like her. I am content with how things are, but it confuses me that she continues to send these confusing/mixed signals when she already knows how I feel about her. She even cuddles with me and sleeps over, and talks to be constantly, usually initiating it too. I don't know how she feels. Even though I am not ready to pursue a relationship, i still like her, and i enjoy her company/cuddling and talking as much as we do. She complements me a lot about how much she enjoys it too. She has been in a toxic relationship in the past, and i have been in toxic relationships too. She cheated on her last ex, and i got cheated ON with my last ex. She knows this too. We have grown very close, especially for just agreeing to be 'friends with benefits' in the beginning. Now i am here. I don't know how she feels, but I have this weird feeling that she likes me but is insecure about it. I am satisfied with how things are, but since i like her, i think about the things she says/does to me. I would like to hear how you guys interpret the things she's been doing, especially since we continued to hookup after we agreed not to.
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