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Horridhenry

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About Horridhenry

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  1. Posts from around 2017 suggest you can if you pay, but that’s the most recent.
  2. I read from old posts that the only way to delete threads is to pay 35 USD to become a forum supporter. I have been in therapy for a while since I posted and feel like a different person. The threads I made still hang over me as a reminder of who I was and I want them gone. I’m willing to pay the money but how do I do it?
  3. Quick update on this.... Our sex life has taken a bit of an intensity spurt lately, no idea why. She wore heels and sexy lingerie in bed a few nights ago. She was a bit shy at first but ok with it and said she actually felt hot in the underwear, though heels was a push. I was very physically generous to her during it and have offered to indulge her own kink next week. Since we did it we’ve been joking and flirting about it so it all went well. As incredibly as she looked in the lingerie and heels, it did make me come a bit quickly and I think would be something I’d want on occasion a
  4. Yeah I found it quite baffling that having any reaction at all to this was largely regarded as being at best weak, at worst controlling. Few people would hear that story and not get something that approaches jealousy. The further it goes from my mind the less I care abut the shoes as well. If it happens it happens but it’s not the biggest deal.
  5. Thanks for all the replies. An interesting range of views going from a form of OCD, to a more general malaise brought about by immaturity and the past, to the strange evaluation of me being an unemployable who deserves everything I get. Without spending $500 a month on someone with no credentials, therapy options are limited in the U.K. so I think these issues are likely things I’ll have to work through myself. I’ll bow out of this thread here and will make decisions over the next few weeks as to whether or not I can stick with the girlfriend or jump ship.
  6. What the hell are you talking about? I have never blamed my parents for a lack of ambition, I haven’t even mentioned them in this thread. I have a relatively high-paying job now so don’t need to go back to school. Are you confusing this with another thread?! Or just looking to throw insults? If you really must know, my dad died when I was 16 and due to him leaving over $300k in debt in my mum’s name we were made homeless. We sorted it out but I spent most of my 20s looking after my then-alcoholic mother and didn’t graduate until 26, around the time the global economy collapsed. Over t
  7. As for the scams, in general if you’re offered a miracle cure for a poorly understood condition that’s isnt recognised by mainstream medicine / psychology, and asked to hand over significant sums of money for it, then it’s a scam. And on therapy, it just does not exist in the part of the world I live, bar a few very expensive options (100s of dollars per hour) with no accreditation.
  8. Job loss has been a constant fear but didn’t come to fruition. Back in May I got my first job with pay and prospects suitable to my age and qualifications and ever since I’ve had a kind of “imposter syndrome” going on. The way jobs work here (not sure if it’s similar in the US) is that you usually get a 6 month period before you become permanent and before that you can be fired pretty much at will. I was of the mind I’d get fired at the 6 month mark but perhaps unsurprisingly, I didn’t. Once I stopped worrying about that I went back onto worrying about the relationship.
  9. Thanks for all the lengthy replies on this. It’s good to know that there are ways of viewing this that go beyond the standard “get over it, the past doesn’t exist” approach. She has her own version of this by the way, occasional pangs of insecurity about my long-term ex. I’m assuming they’re not all-consuming like mine are, but can never be 100%. Much appreciated.
  10. Thanks for the link. If you type in “retroactive jealousy” into google the top page is full of links offering unique cures and self-betterment methods, all for a subscription price hence the scam comment. I live in Europe where professional therapy isn’t really a thing and is poorly regulated, so can’t really be trusted.
  11. I added some not content to my last reply to you, maybe worth having a look again as there’s more info there now. We moved in 2 months ago but this has been building since May. Her ex came into conversation one time, utterly nonchalantly and I ended up down the rabbit hole, asking her questions, twisting things in my head and inventing baggage that wasn’t there. This happened occasionally over a few months until she got upset at it in September as she just didn’t know what to say to make me believe she was over him. I stopped bringing it up and I thought I was over it but it’s come back
  12. Thanks. I’m approaching the 2 year mark. I had hoped this was a blip but it keeps coming back. I suppose the main parts I’m insecure about are that he was a first love so I worry it was more intense and interesting than what we have, plus the fact I didn’t have much money until recently and internally I generally view myself as a bit of a failure, though I don’t come across that way to people. I’ve. No idea how successful this ex is, I don’t imagine she gives it much thought either. Ending the relationship because I can’t handle it seems a little nuclear to me. I’ve dated dozens of wome
  13. Re: Bluecastle (sorry didn’t quote) I am 100% certain I want to be in the relationship and not sure how what I’ve said could suggest otherwise. Honestly I’m not looking to find excuses to leave. If I met someone else the exact same thing would happen given my current mindset. I guess it comes from multiple sources. I grew up in a household with no rules or expectations. I was for want of a better word, a bit of a failure in life by most measures up until 30 or so. I was in a lengthy relationship that was loving but also had many toxic elements. I went through a messy, unusual and mid-s
  14. So I posted a few weeks back after I found out about my girlfriend’s sex tape with an ex. Got loads of good advice. Ultimately though it’s part of a bigger problem that’s been developing over the last 4-5 months and I feel it’s a classic case of retroactive jealousy. This has mainly been around feelings that I’ll never live up to her first serious relationship, which ended in a messy broken engagement some years ago. Her actions and words, alongside those of her friends and family would strongly suggest that in truth that relationship pales into insignificance now compared to what we hav
  15. No contact won’t bring him back but it will help you to quite quickly stop caring. As others have said, this sounds like a casual dating scenario that continued for a year without really going anywhere. Reading between the lines the guy sounds either not ready for, or disinterested in, something long-term. When you meet the right person, “I love you” will come out far more naturally and far sooner than a year.
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