scottsyb

Good Morning Lightn, We had an amaizing program on TV last night. It was all about Bi-polar. They also interviewed people who suffer from this disease. This is a very serious illness if not controlled with drugs. The symptoms vary in different patiens. Some have extreme highs and drop suddenly into deep depression and others drop into this pit of depression and cannot come out of it. They interviewed a man who has been bi-polar for 42 years, but was only diagnosed correctly eight years ago and put onto medication that has changed his life. His family went through hell with him and said that with the correct medication he has become human again. He tried so many times to commit suicide, but his family were able to get help in time. He is in his late 60's now and said that he has lost more than half of his life because of wrong diagnosis. Only now in the last eight years has he been able live a normal life and do a full time job in his furniture factory. This is a very serious disease, as bad as cancer, so it must not be left untreated. Please lightn, you have to some how get help. Beg or borrow, but you have to see some one who can help you. We all care about you, but it is up to you now. Have a great day!

Hi Miya, Try and get some one to help with your maths, because it is very important. When you are looking at working, maths does help. Try and get extra lessons or get some one you know who is a maths boffin to try and help you. Good luck for the rest of you exams!

Hello Lightn, Well the week end is gone and another week starts and I hope you had a better week end this last week end. What did you do? I was thinking of you this week end and I was wondering if you cannot get a part time job as a waiter in a restuarant or something, by the way, how old are you? I tried all the pubs and restuarants in my area and eventually got a job as a bar lady just down the road, but walking home at 1 or 2a.m. in the morning was a very risky thing for a woman in my area. We have a very high crime rate in South Africa, but I also did not care at that time if I would be murdered. I only did it for about three months, but it helped. I moved to a new area to a place of my own and so far I am loving it. The only hassel is trying to get all my stuff back as I was staying with friends and I have stored my boxes all over the place. This is still the result of being without a job for so long, but I am glad to say that I am now getting back on my feet. I still have huge debts, but I will start paying back a little every month to everyone that I have to. Please let me know how you are feeling this Monday morning and remember that you were put onto this planet for a reason and maybe you have to go through what you are going through to make you understand how complicated life can be and perhaps having to go through all of this, it will give you the understanding to help others. The more you try and hide from the world the less people will see you, so how can you achieve anything when you are hiding. I got my job through a person I did not know, but I was in the right place at the right time. You have to really push yourself now to be in different places all the time and get your CV out to everyone. What do you do for a living and where do you stay? OK Lightn, I have to run now as my boss has just walked in, but I promise to chat to you later. Have a great day!

Hi Lightn, I know the week ends are the hardest, but try and get to see some people. Force yourself to interact with others. You must try and not be alone too much. I know you dont want to take tablets, but it is only for a short time, because if you feel better everything seems to be different, a lot easier. I am also worried that you suffering from depression and that is an illness that has to be treated. So you must not feel bad about seeking help, ask some one to help you. Find a person you can trust and speak to them. A problem shared is a problem halved. Remember I care and keep smiling.

Hi lightn, I have been thinking about you again and I would like to make a suggestion. Why dont you go and see a professional for, perhaps an antidepressant, just to help you out of the emotional hole you are in right now. I must say though I am not one for this sort of stuff, but after loosing everything and having to put my dogs to sleep, that sent me into a place I thought I would never be able to get out of, but I went and saw a doctor who put me onto tablets just for three months and I must say they really helped me. It did not take the pain away, but I was at least able to talk to people with a smile. They also made me feel human again and it was during this time that I was able to go to an interview and I got the job because my attitude had changed. After the three months I came off the tablets and I was stronger then to handle life again. So perhaps this might help you. Week ends I know are very hard to handle when you are feeling like you are, but try and keep busy, read books, this also helped me because you dont keep thinking about your problems because you are in the story of the book. Remember that I care and I will be with you all the way! Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come, but today is your day to achieve, even if it is only one little thing.

I wrote my story to you in the hopes that you will be able to get something from it. I was also very depressed when having to walk the streets knocking on doors and asking to wash peoples dogs. I got 10 no's and then a yes, but it was very very difficult for me. Now that my life is on track again I look back and it has made me a much better person. I am more humble and more sympathetic to people who are in the same situation I was in. I also thought about taking my life, but now I have grandchildren and they are so precious to me and I cannot think about not being able to be around them. I know it is very hard for you right now, but you have touched my heart and if you try and do anything, remember I will be very heartbroken because then I will feel like I have failed you. I care about you and I want to know how you are getting on, so please keep in contact with me. So you see you are worth it and perhaps some day when you have managed to get yourself out of financial difficulties, you could come to South Africa for a holiday and I will show you this beautifull country of mine. Have a great day and try to smile at everyone you see or talk to today, knowing that some one really cares about you!!!

Good Luck for your exams! Well done! if this was your first attempt at poetry, it is very good! Just shows you that if you really put your mind to things you can surprise yourself at what you can really do! Trying different things brings out the best in you because you realise that you can really achieve more than you know.

I am 55 years old and I was where you are right now, without a job for 3 years. I lost my house and car and was evicted from my home and left on the pavement with my two little dogs under each arm. A friend happed to pop passed and took me to her home where I had to make very harsh decicions. I went to the SPCA and had to put both of my babies (dogs) to sleep because I could no longer look after them. This broke my heart and to this day I still see their little eyes close when they went to sleep never to wake again. Later that day my friend had a braai and invited a few other friends around to try and make me feel better, when her Rotweiler was let out by some one and the dog mauled my face (I nearly lost both my eyes) I spent 3 hours in casualty with a nurse trying to stich my face back together and the next two weeks I would not go out as I looked like some one in a horror movie. I have told you this because people have problems all the time and yes I was depressed. I had no job and a face that scared people, so interviews did not go well. So I did the next best thing, I walked the neighbourhood knocking on doors asking people if I could was there dogs for a fee. I was now very scared of dogs, but to overcome my fear, I started working with them, as I love animals very much. To my surprise, people started asking me to come back each month to wash and groom their dogs and the dogs got to know me. It was wonderful, I now had a business that was working for me. I managed to buy a little second hand car, so I could work in a bigger area. I also started (once I had a place again of my own) looking after little dogs when people went on holiday and they even slept in my bed with me. So please dont give up, try and be innovative to lift yourself up because no one can do that for you. Try and find something that you can do to bring in extra money. Perhaps you can start a garden service, (I dont know where you live) but here in South Africa, everyone has a garden service once a week. Try and think of something that will work in your area because if you can just get R50 from one person twice a day, that a R100 a day which equates to R700 a week, then you can be your own boss and never have to beg for your wages. We care about you, so never give up. Look for something, speak to everyone you can and find out what they need and work from there. Be Strong! I am with you.

Depression IS a very serious problem and I know how you feel when you say you are embarrased when people find out about you having treatment, but dont. Perhaps you should see a therapist who can work with you to find out why you have this inner anger and desire to hurt yourself. You obviously dont like yourself and I think you have to get to know who you are and that you have a lot to offer friends and family. Please dont think that suicide is the answer, because it is not. You dont realise who you will hurt when you try it. You are crying out for help and maybe you dont even know yourself what it is you want, so I think a professional is your answer. Take one step at a time and I am sure that you will come right. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you are a good, lovable and caring person and you will actually start to like yourself again, but please seek professional help, because it is not easy to do this on your own. People actually care about you. Look at all your responses you have had, so please let us all know what you have done to make your life turn around. You are very precious to everyone. We all care about you.