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Nmr1983

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  1. Yes, I mentioned a lot of his good qualities in a previous post. He says he is happy when I ask him. I mentioned counseling and he agreed but hasn’t said anything else about it. I am going to bring it up again. He seems to just go along for the ride sometimes if you will. Just agrees with me even on little things that we do and doesn’t really suggest new things to do together. I may be wrong but I feel like it’s always me trying to keep the spark alive. He is a bit passive.
  2. He proposed at the beginning of the year. As I have gotten older I do want to get married and have kids. I was just never in a rush. We are supposed to be getting married in June and I am supposed to be sending out save the dates, getting dresses and all that stuff. I just don’t know right now. This advice has been very helpful. He seems to be more affectionate when he is drinking which loosens him up. I don’t want to have to wait every time for him to drink to be more open though. There is already a lot of money into this and I know that is not the main concern here, I don’t want to en
  3. I have just pushed it down for a while then it would get better but looking back the majority of the relationship has been like this. Yes, my fault I guess for accepting a proposal. It’s extremely hard to leave though when 90% of the other stuff is fine. Thank you for your advice:)
  4. That is what I am trying to prevent. I’m afraid I am already starting to, so I am fighting hard at this point.
  5. Serious question- How does having had a few bad relationships have to do with a need that someone has? I had it before those relationships and I will always have it. He can be who he is. That’s why I am going to observe and make the right decision before we get married. I spoke to him and he knows how I feel. That’s all I can really do. Before we got engaged , he would be more affectionate at times. It seems to have decreased much more since we got engaged.
  6. “ I am who I am and it would be down right ... well... selfish for someone to demand I conform to their standards ESPECIALLY when their need for my change was due to their own unresolved baggage. “ Figureitout23- I am going to disagree with this. My need for affection ( everyone is entitled to their own needs ) has nothing to do with “unresolved baggage” but everything to do with something I put high value on in a relationship. Whether I had baggage or not, I would still want this aspect to be a strong one in a relationship so the two do not go together in my case. I am not going to
  7. I did and he told me he thought everything was fine.
  8. I think that if I were more fulfilled in that sense, I would feel more emotionally connected to him and I would be More willing to accept the amount of physical affection (or lack thereof) outside of the bedroom.
  9. Did you find that the guys that were not very affectionate, were emotionally unavailable to a certain extent ?
  10. Bluecastle- you are very observant. I am impressed with how you hit the nail on the head. Thank you.
  11. This... the guy before him was extremely passionate handsome and we just clicked on that level and others. He ended up cheating
  12. LOL to the laundry thing.... i like someone who can take the lead and be more assertive. Nothing to crazy. I guess I just feel like every guy I have dated ( short term) that has been like that, has ended up being emotionally abusive or cheating. I guess I have this idea in my head that if a man is very passionate he probably is not a good long term partner based on my past. I want to be able to have those intimate moments that make you closer. Retire and walk on a beach holding hands and always keeping the spark. That kind of stuff . I was never the type of person that had a goal to get m
  13. To be honest not 100%. We don’t really “make love “ if you will. He doesn’t call me beautiful or sexy in bed. It’s almost like he follows my lead a lot. It’s not that it is bad. It just isn’t very passionate.
  14. Yes he was raised where they never spoke about issues and swept them under the rug. They never hugged or had heart to heart conversations. His father would kiss his mother but never hug her and he wasn’t there for her emotionally. He has never told his mother he loves her in front of me but they have. A great relationship.
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