SingingRain

Thank you...

Camber, Leave me alone and get off my thread as I asked. I don’t want YOUR opinions or input. Clearly you just want to start a fight. You’re probably an abuser yourself.

And that’s because people are accusing me and insulting me. And I’m plain done with it. As I said before I appreciate those who have been very kind.

And once again I’m leaving. Thank you all so much. For those who been kind. I appreciate it.

IÂ’m too frustrated on here. IÂ’m having to defend myself against insults and attacks and I am not getting the help and support I need. How much more support do I need??? How insulting is that? I need a lot of support right now but clearly this is not the place for me to get it. IÂ’m not looking for coddling. IÂ’m 49 and am a grown adult. I can take care of myself. But IÂ’m done with all the insults on here. Who doesn’t fight back when verbal insults are thrown? Or when you’re getting g attacked verbally and abused? Let me ask you that. I don’t take it lying down.. the abuse that is. I fight back. And that doesn’t work either. I will stick to the Facebook groups I joined on marriage and abuse. I’ve found far better support there than on here and far greater compassion for my situation.

Perhaps many of you have been through it and donÂ’t want to see someone else doing the same when the signs are there. IÂ’ve made it clear on here that IÂ’m not ready to leave. I am deciding. I am uncertain. IÂ’ve said all I can say. I stand up to him, I donÂ’t let him get away with every little instance of abuse. I call him out and I stand up for myself. He backs down. Maybe my situation is very different I donÂ’t know.

So now I’m arrogant. I’ve been called arrogant, attn seeking and playing victim on this thread. What I am feeling is that many of you are mean people. I apologize if my statement was hurtful. Not my intention in the least. Little do you know that I’m like one of the nicest people in the world.. I’m a huge sweetheart. But on here I’m getting mean insults. I don’t feel listened to on here.. not by several ppl at least. And once again I’m choosing to exit.

It’s on and off abusive. It is not always abusive or else I’d leave. I guess based on what you’re saying yes I’m choosing to stay. Or based on what I’ve said, I may also leave.

He IS abusive when we fight... he uses textbook abuse tactics. I have studied abuse for YEARS.. I have been abused before in many relationships. I have read many books and articles on emotional and verbal abuse tactics. I have gone over those tactics with my therapist. She confirms that he uses abuse tactics and IS controlling of me. I have not hit the alarm button. I could have worded my original post differently, yes, but I become upset and reactive when ppl try to tell me I am seeking attn, playing victim and the such. This thread made me walk away from this forum. I am in a dilemma. When he's not abusive, he's awesome. I don't understand why people cannot seem to understand that it's not so black and white. That when he's loving, I want to stay, and when he's abusive, I want to leave. I have immensely conflicted feelings, which holds me or keeps me in a holding pattern. I have sought help. I have reached out to friends about this.. I have confided in my therapist. I have confided in my sister. I have a resource for a lawyer. I am making plans financially to leave, IF I decide to leave. I am setting myself up so that I am covered JUST IN CASE I decide to leave by the time our apt lease is up in June. I came here for an additional resource to help me figure out my conflicted feelings. And I walked away from this thread & forum when ppl start accusing me of playing the victim and seeking attn, when in fact, I AM a victim of emotional and verbal abuse ON AND OFF in my marriage. When ppl accuse an abuse victim of playing victim, that is called VICTIM BLAMING and VICTIM SHAMING. What i need is to figure this out..... But I will have to figure it out on my own and with my therapist. I thank you for your thoughtful post. And I thank all those who have gone to the trouble to also write a thoughtful and supportive post. I appreciate it.

When someone asks for support what does that mean?? People here clearly do not get what support is or compassion. Goodbye. My final words.

If ppl keep saying things

NO. There are some here who are attacking ME. I don’t take kindly to being confronted and attacked when I came here for support only.

Tell me how I’m playing the victim here? Please enlighten me with your wisdom.

I’m already beaten up in life. I don’t need to be beaten up by perfect strangers on the Internet. “You’re playing victim, you just want pity,” what’s wrong with you ppl?? Bye.

No. No one here understands. I’m sick of being confronted... I only came here to find people who could understand my dilemma and relate to my issue. But I feel attacked now and very misunderstood.