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  1. Hi all, I used this website around September last year seeking advice on whether breaking up with my ex was objectively a good idea for me and now i wanted to hit you all with a further conundrum. (See my previous post if you want more of an insight). Anyway - i ended up breaking things off with him shortly after this. But i still go to university with him and we study the same degree, live down the same road etc so i thought it would be best to take the high road and to try to remain somewhat civil. He messaged me quite frequently, about random stuff, to which i would either ignore or be blunt to and i had some inappropriate texts from him/requests in person about having a causal relationship (no?) to which i obviously declined. Over time, I kind of almost started to enjoy being friends though, it was nice and we hung out without all the relationship upset. Fast forward to around mid-november when he tells me that he "can't be too close with me because he doesn't want to upset me if he starts to move on" and that he can "easily detach himself from emotional situations" (?). So i'm like okay, yeah sure and went home for Christmas. Over Christmas he messages me quite frequently, especially on Christmas day thanking me and my family for lovely past christmasses and that he will miss it dearly. Then he sent me a couple of memes in the days between Xmas and NY. Fast forward to New Years Eve and i find out through a friend that he is seeing someone and took her to a party a lot of my friends/our friends were at/hosted. I just wanted some advice because although i dont want to be with him, knowing he is with someone else like a month after he was asking to sleep with me/only a few months after we broke up is really hurting me inside and i dont want to hurt anymore. Plus some of our friends are mutual and i saw a photo of him and new 'girl' laughing and looking really happy and its playing on my mind lol. I feel as though if i wasn't at uni with him it would be so much easier but its now like i have to have constant reminder of this AND he treated me so badly in the relationship, during the breakup and after? Can i catch a break? How comes he gets to be so happy and moving on while i'm recovering from all of this. Please do offer some advice - muchos appreciation.
  2. Hi everyone, This is my first time posting and first time visiting this community. So - i have been with someone for the past 2.5 years. In the beginning things were great, but i always noticed that i felt as though he didn't always speak to me in a respectful way. Mostly getting short with me, aggressively saying my name like a parent would and kind of telling me off almost. However apart from this the relationship was really good. We spent a lot of time together and texted frequently, always telling each-other how much we wanted to be together etc. Normal relationship stuff. Fast forward to 6 months ago, I started noticing that the remarks towards me were getting pretty frequent, the texting had slowed down a lot and we were seeing each-other less and less. He has hobbies that take up a lot of (solo) time and i spent a lot of time being fitted in around this. I know hobbies are important however so i let him get on with them and actively encouraged them. In our spare time his first thought would be how to fit in his hobbies. This became apparent when he decided to go off on a solo adventure for 2.5 months over summer (we are students and have a large summer break in-between semesters). He didn't really want to go on holiday together but i feel as though i wore him down and we decided to meet in the middle. Before we met on holiday we were apart for 6 weeks. Throughout this time we spoke over text and rang each-other maybe 3 times (he isnt a big phone call person). However the texts were nothing like they should be in a relationship and i felt just like he was checking in with a friend, no miss you, love you etc unless i did and in which case he would reciprocate. One day i messaged him asking if he could tell me something nice and that he loved me because i was going through a hard time with family stuff and wanted to hear it. He didn't message me for 5 days until i rang him and he said he "hadn't come away for me to nag at him." We meet up on holiday in a beautiful destination. But i felt so alone the whole time. He was short with me, made some quite nasty remarks and i felt as though i was a burden the whole time. I left him to go home when the holiday ended and cried for about two hours, that was when i decided enough was enough. The person i was with 2 years ago is not the same person now, and he isn't being respectful. I had some time to think and had to unfortunately message him this because we still had a month of him on his trip. I said i felt unhappy, i felt he was rude and made me so upset on holiday. He said "we can talk when i'm back". I reiterated the message about 2 weeks later and got the same reply "talk when back". I won't be seeing him until next week when we are both in the same country again. We haven't spoken apart from this. I just kind of want to know whether i am making a really silly decision by ending it with someone who when the good is good, we have great times. Or whether the way its been in the pat 6 or so months is enough to be a dealbreaker.
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