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  1. I've been dating this guy for around 5 months now. He is my first serious relationship as I wasn't that interested in serious dating before. He is my only sexual partner I've had and I'm his fourth. We're both 19. Before we started dating he watched porn like any other person. I also watched it before dating him, but after becoming sexually active I didn't really need it and started to find it a bit gross. He still kept watching it which didn't make me happy but I didn't think it was a big deal. It however started to feel like a problem after a couple months dating and the fact that he hadn't reduced his porn usage at all. Also his social media was littered with porn, lewd pictures, etc. He was following hundreds of half-nude female cosplayers, models and some just straight up porn stars. I didn't think much of it at the start of our relationship but it started to bother me more later on. I didn't know any other guy that would have the need to watch half naked women constantly and so casually. Also those pictures kept creeping up on my discovery feed saying "liked by (insert his username here) and it just felt nasty. It felt bad seeing all the half-naked, photoshopped and over-the-top pictures of women and thinking "this is what he wants". Also him having constant feed of sexy girls made it feel like he would be so used to the naked body, that when we are intimate it wouldn't feel that special. I didn't want to feel insecure about it, but it also didn't feel normal. Talking to other people also confirmed it really wasn't. After talking to him about it a few times and explaining that he wouldn't like it either if I was constantly looking at half-naked guys on my Ig and liking their pictures, he started unfollowing some of them to reduce it. After that I started to feel a little bit better, but still a bit bothered by the fact that he even needed all that. After a few months we got a change to be by ourselves at my place for a week, as my parents were going away. We're both young and still live at our parents place so it was a perfect moment to freely explore new kinks and just have fun. We agreed to not use any porn that week and he said it was no problem and that he doesn't even need it. The first four days went well, we had fun and sex was good. At the end of the week we decided to try some new stuff like tying up, etc. so we could have the most of our alone time. When it was my time to tie him up it went well. Not going into details. When it was his turn the next day, it just didn't work. He teased me for a short time, and then before the actual intercourse he just went soft. And it wouldn't be the first time during the last days that this would happen. During the last three days he went soft 3 times and the 2 other times we tried to have sex, was extremely fast and no foreplay. Needless to say I was a bit sad and disappointed. Before, at the start of the week, or even normally he doesn't really go soft like that. And now he went soft multiple times in a row. I could think it was because it was too much sex, but we've had even more before so I doubt it. So once the week was over I was sort of annoyed at the lack of sex, or the lack of quality in sex we had. It felt like we wasted our alone time, and he didn't even seem exited about the whole tying up thing which I thought would be fun (he didn't seem that exited about sex in general). I just felt like a bad cum bag. What hurt me even more was the last day. We tried having morning sex, failed because he went soft. Then before he was going to leave we had a quick (like 3-4m) session with no foreplay or anything. He came and I went to have a shower. The next day I found out that at home later that evening he had jerked off to porn. Normally it wouldn't feel like such a big deal. Problem was that I wasn't happy with the sex we had had at the end of the week, even when I had tried to spice it up. (which he didn't seem that interested in) And him going soft in an unusual way multiple times, having sex twice that day and still needing the porn. I felt sexually unsatisfied and inferior to the porn he had to rely on, still on the same day. It felt like he couldn't keep up with the pace because he needed his usual dosage of porn, and when he didn't get it, it started to show. I've tried to research on porn addiction before and some of the symptoms of withdrawal would be difficulty getting/staying up and lack of libido. And those haven't been a problem before so it seemed like a natural answer; that he was simply addicted and it was a problem. He himself has admitted before to be somewhat addicted to it. After some more research and thinking I suggested we try the 90-day no porn challenge. Masturbating is allowed, just porn wasn't. He agreed, since we see each other almost everyday anyway, it shouldn't have been that big of a deal. It's been about 1 and a half weeks since that. He hasn't watched porn but he did admit to thinking about it a lot when he's by himself. He also admitted to still using doujins to masturbate. And for those who don't know doujins are basically hentai in manga form, made by unofficial authors. (like fanfictions basically but drawn) He had told me before a week ago that he reads them and asked if they're okay. I asked if he masturbated to them, he answered no so I gave an okay to it. But now he admitted to using them for masturbation and just said that I was okay with them before. Even though before he said that he didn't use them for that. So it just felt like he was lying. Last night we talked about it, trying to figure out what to do. He kept saying it was a problem and he needs to fix it, while also being very much visibly frustrated about the situation and restrictions. At this point I'm just growing tired of caring about it. I still don't like it, and still feel inferior to his porn, but I've just grown so tired of watching him struggle because of it. I don't even know if it's actually a problem or just me being insecure and overreacting. Our relationship is full of problems as it is. He's emotionally a lot more immature, which makes things very difficult. Especially talking about our problems is difficult. He also gets addicted to things easily; energy drinks, phone, games, porn, etc. I just need advice on this. Should his porn usage be restricted, or should I ask him to take a complete break from it (like the 90 day thing). Or should I just not care about it and try to come to terms with it? I'm just so tired of thinking about this. I feel like it does affect our sex life negatively and if it didn't, it obviously wouldn't be a problem. I also don't want him to get so used to the naked body, because it makes intimacy less interesting and important. I'm sorry if this rant is a mess, I just need to get this out of my system.
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