TeeDee

the more time you waste on Mr. Wrong, the less time you will have to find Mr. Right. You are a mom now. That means you have to date like a mom not like a single woman. As a single women you were free to have casual sex but if you are looking for commitment, you have to be more patient & selective. You need monogamy BEFORE you hit the sheets. It's a horrible double standard but there are men out there who prey on single moms as being lonely / desperate & those men think that the moms will give it away because clearly the moms are not virgins.

Sadly I think you were a rebound. Taking up with you & having a kid 6 months after a divorce was too soon. She never processed that loss. The added stress of a 3rd child must have been overwhelming. I'm sorry you missed the signs & this is now out of control. I think she's being extremely foolish. Opting for single parenthood of 3 kids when she couldn't handle the stress with you around is foolish on her part. You and the other kids' da better be there because I don't think she's capable of keeping 3 kids on track alone in her present state. You would do well to distance yourself from the kids who aren't yours. You seem like a kind caring person but she may be feeling smothered by your attentions. There is such a thing as being too nice.

You are not foolish. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You believed him; unfortunately he was lying to you. Now that you know that he's a user who only comes around when he wants sex or an ego boost you should not fall for his malarkey again.

You simply have to accept it. That is much easier said than done. In time she will be a beautiful memory as opposed to the heartache you are experiencing now Go NC to protect yourself. You don't need to see her social media or anything like that. Keep yourself busy. Give back into a favorite hobby or get a new one. Work overtime or get a side hustle. In time the acute pain will subside.

He was your 1st relationship. He was too broken to trust anybody. The longing you are feeling is not love it's nostalgia. That is a terrible reason to get back together. You will be better off going forward to a 2nd relationship.

Just because you think you want to get back together doesn't mean he's ready to trust you. Why do you want to go back to something that wasn't working in the 1st place?

Something else is going on with him. Get him a physical. He may have a brain tumor or some kind of infection that is adversely affecting his cognitive processing.

She doesn't sound very supportive. You are only 22, not 32. You are allowed to ask for help from parents. Talk to your doctors about getting you into an accident survivors support group so you can talk to people who have been through what you have.

LDRs require a lot of trust. You already know he's a cheater. Now you have more evidence & he's gas lighting you. What is the draw of staying with this man? Give up & date somebody local who shares your views & values.

Why would you send your wife a whatsapp message like that? Why wouldn't you call her or wait to discuss things when you got home. If your salary isn't paying the bills it's time you two made a new household budget or she gets a job. Stop shouldering the whole burden yourself.

I agree DMing him to talk about the book or follow up with the organization he mentioned. A technique I liked to use to gauge a man's interest was to mention somewhere I planned to be to see if he showed up. If you can find a related event, say to him that you will be attending. See if he asks more Qs or if you can casually suggest he attend too. Since you run an organization find a reason to have another event & invite him.

Happy Birthday. Here's the thing: if you two broke up he wasn't The One. That person is still out there. It's ok to grieve the loss of a relationship but that can't go on forever. 4 months after the fact it's time to move your life forward. What are you doing to keep busy & keep your mind off him? Be active. Exercise. Exercise produces happy endorphins to elevate your mood. Take up a new hobby. Get a side hustle or work overtime to earn more money. Activity is the antidote to what ails you. Make 22 the best year ever!

You have to start somewhere. If you don't try now all that will happen is that you will be 33 with no love life. My husband is a combat veteran with certain PTSD issues. His therapist has him doing exercises where he has to be exposed to things that make him uncomfortable. He doesn't like crowds. He recently accompanied me to an indoor flea market / bazaar. The idea is the more you do the scary thing but nothing bad happens, the easier it will be to keep doing that.

You are investing way too much in a stranger you have never met. Nothing about this is genuine until you meet in person. You both think you like the person you think the other one is but you don't actually know the other person When you say he's in another city do you mean the next town over, under an hour away or is this somebody on the other side of the planet? You are not investing anything by continuing to chat. Continue to talk but keep your emotions out of it for now. Just don't put all your eggs in his basket. If you can manage to meet in person then you can assess whether you have something

You can't give her closure. Closure comes from within, not from another person. Your talk to closure is a modern twist on wishing an Ex Happy Birthday. It's an excuse to reopen communication because deep down you want to get back together. You know getting back with her is a bad idea. There's nothing to be ashamed about. You liked this girl & she took advantage. Just don't make the same mistake again You are not sick. You are not a bad person. Wanting to be loved is not selfish. Recognize that you & this woman were never a good fit. She was hurtful & manipulative. Use this failed relationship & learn to recognize red flags. When somebody treats you poorly, get out. One thing about your behavior did strike me though. You mentioned something about her making you jealous by mentioning that an actor was "hot" then making you watch a movie starring that actor while you & her were in bed. It was an actor, not somebody she knows. If you get jealous over celluloid, that is a problem you need to address. You also mentioned something about a mortgage. Hopefully you are still buying a house. Put your energy into fixing that up. Make it a place you can be proud of & use your fresh start in a new neighborhood to see who is around there.

A 32 year old college graduate who has never had a job & lives at home to support his mom who is too depressed to care for herself is not going to suddenly become ambitious to win a woman's affection. This guy has zero ambition & never will. He is tied to mommy's apron strings & likes coasting along being supported by others. He's already wasted 1/3 of his life. Telling him to shape up is almost cruel because it gives him false hope. You would have been better off just saying no thanks. You are allowed to not want to date somebody because they are lazy. Attraction is more than just physical. It involved having shared dreams but this guy is just a bum

Has this ever happened before? It seems odd to me that a family would go on vacation without a family member. For now take care of the dogs. Start making lists. Think about what you want out of life & how you will go about achieving those goals. Take some action steps to make friends to ease your loneliness. Point is don't wallow. If you are unhappy with your situation, change it. When your family returns tell them how much their behavior hurt your feelings.

What an awful thing to say. It makes you sound like a materialistic gold digger. In his shoes I would never date you. When I met my now husband, we were both in our late 30s he had a paper route to supplement his sparse income. I owned my own business & had a graduate degree. He was a military veteran having been enlisted but was going to school on line. His job situation was anything but stable. But I could see the work ethic & the potential. You would have told him to buzz off -- to go make money to prove that he was "good enough" to date you. I took a chance. He graduated magna cum laude after we were married. Soon thereafter he found his calling & now has a great job that makes him happy. Point is I supported him through it. You sent a good guy away for all the wrong reasons. For his sake I hope he meets a nice person & develops a quality relationship. He may not have money right now but that is easy to fix with some hard work; you lack compassion, empathy & vision which you may never develop. If you think him living at home & not having anything but a side hustle is an indication that he has zero ambition, that is one thing. In that case you needed to take a hard pass not try to motive him to win you or deserve you.

Your mother has major boundary issues. I am troubled by the idea that a grown woman would use her son's phone to call his HS GF & call her a b1tch. Since your parents are religious, even though you are not, perhaps enlist some help from their minster to work through things. Talk to a guidance counselor at school about your college choices. If that school is the best for what you want to do, let the guidance counselor help you explain that to mom & dad. Again if you can get the minister on your side regarding your choice of schools that should also help your case. You & your GF may have run your course. Many HS romances don't survive the transition to college. Don't let your relationship status derail your goals.

Stay out of it. Tell her when the lease is up that you do not intend to renew it so she has time to make other plans. As for the baby & her relationship, they are not your business. Keep your mouth shut. Keep taking care of the dog but leave the rest of it alone. Support her from afar, period.

In 9 times neither of you have made a move. The fact that you haven't made a move told her that you see her only as a friend. She grew comfortable with that & you can't change it now. Sorry. You blew it. Women like men who flirt from the start Your failure to do that doomed this. You need to be more assertive. However, if ShySoul is correct & this woman has already told you that she doesn't see you as a romantic prospect, you need to respect that & move along. Stop hanging around being an orbiter.

For a while you two traveled the path of life together but now you are on different paths. That happens. Let her go. Wish her well. Focus on your company & in time you will meet the right woman.

I think the autism is driving some of this but I couldn't live like that. I would not feel safe, loved or valued in a relationship like the one you describe; therefore I would not continue it.

Before you begin this conversation you need to get right with yourself. Step one; Go get an STD test & complete physical. Let's how much damage drinking has done to your body. Refrain from sex with your FI until you get the STD results. If you caught something it's really not fair to pass it on to her. Step 2: think long & hard about whether you need to give up drinking altogether & go to AA. You acknowledge the problem Step 3: tell her. Just use the dreaded opening line "we have to talk" then spit it out. Do give her your STD status which will hopefully be negative & then discuss with her whether you need AA. Give her time to process. She may find this unforgiveable & you will have to live with that. Actions have consequences.

There is nothing to be confused about. Your family & friends are correct. He's a game playing time waster. If he was into you, nothing would have stopped him from pursing you. Next . ..