TeeDee

You can break up with him without outing him. If anybody asks, you just say you "wanted different things." They don't have to know that you wanted a heterosexual relationship & he wanted a homosexual one.

I waited 10 years for some guy. I gave him my 20s but the proposal never came. By the time I got out & fell in love with my husband I was too old to have kids. Don't be me. While I generally don't believe in ultimatums, one may be appropriate here. But you have to be strong enough to fully walk away if you two aren't heading down the aisle. If you pull this but don't dump him he will know you are not a woman of your word. He will think you are just a drama queen & he can go on stringing you along forever. You basically need to sit him down & say when we started this you knew I was looking for marriage & a family. You told me you were too. It's been 5 years but we are not engaged & I feel like you keep blowing this off. I need to know what you are thinking & feeling or if you have a plan / timetable. I hate to be a cliche ,but I do have a bio clock ticking here. If that conversation ends without you being engaged or him saying let's go ring shopping over the weekend, you need to break it off. If you decide to stay you will be agreeing that marriage is not important to what do you want more: him or a marriage / kids. You can't have both. You should be aware that 20+ years after the fact that guy who told he "didn't believe in marriage" is still not married. He continues to have a serious of long term relationships but that is it.

Go to the therapy. Talk to this professional. Make your case to the therapist about why you should get to continue to date your BF. See if you can get the therapist to advocate for you. If the therapist tells your parents that its OK for you to date your BF, they may be more open to the idea. Your parents love you. They want you to be healthy & happy.

You are a 21 year old adult. It's OK to feel abandoned but you can't stop your mother from pursuing her dream. There are wonderful ways to keep in touch & you can always travel to see each other. You may find this to be a wonderful growth opportunity for you both

If you care to share that you felt he was inconsiderate and insensitive you are free to do so. It won't change his behavior in the long run. He may promise to change but I doubt your perceptions will have meaningful long term impact on his behavior.

When I was a bit younger than you I went to a movie with a guy who IMO got way too excited & involved in an arson / fire scene. It really freaked me out because to me his reaction was inappropriate & cause for concern. I broke up with him that night. I am still aware of that guy. To the best of my knowledge he's a normal person & has been happily married to his wife for 30 years & they have great well adjusted kids. So even though I was wrong, I never regretted the decision to end things because his reaction didn't sit well with me. Trust your instincts. I'm not sure from your post whether he was laughing at the scene or at you. Neither is good but the fact that he gets upset easily is a red flag you need to pay attention to.

He's exploring his sexuality. You do not have a future with this guy. Wish him well on his journey but it's time to end things.

You know what to do. You just don't want to. You break up with him because he wants things you, a woman, can't give him. Unless you want an open marriage where he's off having sex with strange men, you can marry this guy. You also need to get an STD test immediately

The only thing that means you are exclusive is when the two of you talk about the relationship & verbally mutually agree to exclusive. Hand holding, cheek kisses, daily texts & even sex have nothing to do with exclusivity. After 4 months the idea that you will find it awkward to talk to him about the relationship tells me there are communication issues in here. If you aren't comfortable enough to talk., what exactly is your relationship based on?

I don't know that your luck has been bad. I think you make some questionable decisions. You are already far too emotionally invested in a long distance person you haven't met & don't know. The fact that you set your match range so broadly is a questionable choice. Dating locally & conventionally seems wiser to me. You haven't met but you are dreaming of monthly dates and having her move back to your state. You seriously need to slow down.

You owe her honesty, not marriage. Make a pros & cons list. Speak to an attorney on your own about a pre nup & and estate plan. Decide what you want. If you don't want to marry, don't. Do talk to her about her financial expectations if you are going to marry. If she can't control her spending & her bookkeeping she could bankrupt you. If you decide you don't want to marry tell her that & respect whatever decision she makes even if that is to break up & move out.

You really need to keep your expectations in check. Make sure she's staying somewhere other than your house. If she's flying in you can meet her at the airport but do not expect to be asked up to her hotel room. Decide in advance if you two will spend her arrival day together or if she will need time to decompress. Plan some public day time activities.

You have been doing this -- whatever this is -- for many years but never met? The guy is a time waster. Stop engaging with him. Things will never improve. What label you put on it doesn't matter. He's never going to show up in real life & be a good partner. Going forward, date locally & meet quickly. Then & only then can you start to invest.

You were attracted to her because she was mysterious & exotic. However, you never really got to know her. The language barrier was too much. Please accept my condolences about the loss of your mom. You have this job you love. Focus on that blessing. Love will find you.

Yes, you are totally over thinking things. You matched on an app. You haven't even met yet & you are talking about exclusivity & making thinks official. Just NO. It's all too fast & completely unrealistic. The apps don't mean anything. Who somebody is on a dating app may have no bearing on who they are in real life. You have to stop building this up in your mind & go meet in person. Remember a 1st meet is NOT a first date. All the talking & texting & whatever else before you meet in person is meaningless. Nothing counts until you meet. It's all just a figment of your imagination, a fantasy at this point. Slow down. You two don't even know each other. Getting to know somebody takes time. It's more than a few texts or conversations. It's watching how they behave; seeing how they are under pressure,, laughing together and crying together. Go meet. Keep it short & light, under a hour, in a well lit place with minimal alcohol. You two are strangers. A few texts & conversations are no substitute for in person interactions. You need time to assess the quality of your interactions not just the number of texts you exchange. If that meet goes well then you can schedule an actual date. After you have dated for a while -- at least a month, meaning at least 4 in person dates -- then you can talk about being official. To be exclusive or official now before you even met tells me you are going waaayyyyyy tooo fast & will burn out because nothing you are doing in grounded in reality. It sounds like you are a love bomber who does not move prudently or cautiously. You are going to end up sorely disappointed if you don't slow down.

How would we know? She is the only one who knows. If she won't talk to you, that is an unsurmountable problem.

All the examples you seem to have given were friends or purely social situations. There you do need more boundaries. If anybody mentions anything about your body in a professional business event they should be firmly & immediately scolded & told such comments are unwelcome & they will be reported to HR if it ever happens again. Make a note somewhere of their names, the location, & who else was present. Then do immediately go to HR if it happens again.

I have found over the years that many people mis-read any attention from an opposite sex person as romantic attraction. Friendly to some people is light flirting. Especially in the work place absent an overt specific request for a date, my advice is don't assume. Be cordial going forward but otherwise just do your job.

It sounds professional not romantic.

You didn't make a mistake. You had a relationship. You are now seeing that this is not your forever relationship. End things. Take some time to heal. Talk to your parents. Let them work with you to find a better relationship that they approve of. Meanwhile focus on your studies.

I think you should assume he was being cordial. You are new to the company & it was coffee during work hours. I would assume that was about work not romantic interest. If he or anybody else invites you to get drinks with the team after work, I think you should go. I get that you feel nervous when you don't know many people but the way you get to know people is to show up at events like this. Networking is a skill. It's one everyone needs to master if they hope to advance in their careers & life. You go & have 1 drink. You talk shop maybe some superficial small talk. Do not get into anything deeply personal. Have no more than 2 alcoholic drinks (fewer is better). Smile. Ask Questions. Listen more than you talk. Don't be the 1st to leave but not the last either.

It's definitely not love. It's more like an unhealthy obsession. You would do well to exercise more self control. Tell your sibling that you don't want to hear about this person. Find more constructive uses of your time.

Your relationship may have run its course. You are done with the partying stage but he's just getting started. Yes it's controlling to talk about "letting" a partner do something but it's also disrespectful to deliberately do things your partner asked you not to do & then lie about it.

At 34 you started up with a 17 year old CHILD. You are a predator. You would do well to date adult women who are your age.

Somebody you are not dating / having sex with is way out of bounds to make comments about what sexual things they want to do to you. You need to speak up & shut that garbage up immediately. If somebody gives you a compliment that is one thing but something crude along the lines of "nice a$$" is vulgar & again you need to shut this down.