TeeDee

If the women have been introduced, then there is no reason to have another meeting & there was never a valid reason to subject the new FI to a one on one with the EX

Why? All this EX wants to do is meet the person who will be a mother figure to her kid. No lawyers required.

Have you ever had the attraction, the zazazoo, that whole head over heels struck by lightening feeling about anyone? If not you may have to accept that you are not wired that way. If you have but you weren't feeling it with this person you were right to let her go. People can be awesome but not the perfect fit for you. Allergic to cats is not an impediment to dating. It's a medical thing. If the allergy is mild maybe you can take an allergy pill. If it's serious date dog lovers. You can learn to be more outgoing. That is a skill that can be mastered. Try joining something like ToastMasters. That is about public speaking but it has a confidence boosting component. If you have the money try something like a Dale Carnegie class. At least do some free on line research about boosting confidence in social situations. The rural thing might be tougher but the answer will always be to enlarge your social circle. Volunteer. Get involved. Attend group activities. Perhaps check out the surrounding towns.

Have you ever filed a complaint against her for stalking? Has she ever been arrested for DUI or drugs? If so those things will pop on a background check. If not, you may be overreacting to some speculative job dream. Don't do anything at this point.

The OP & his FI are getting married. That is a public announcement. He also shares a 5 year old with his EX-W. Can you really blame the EX for wanting to meet the woman who will be living in the house where her kid will be when dad has custody?

You are 22 year old guy. Of course she can see that you want to have sex. Generally speaking men in your age bracket always want to have sex, especially if they are attracted to their GFs. It's normal. It's natural & it does not have to be controlled by meds. Your desire for her is NOT pushing her away. Her fear of being caught by her mother is the problem. It has nothing to do with you. If you want to have sex with your GF, you need to find a safe, clean, secure, private place to be together. Not your parents' house & not her parents' house. Medication is not required or advisable. Rather you should spend some money on a hotel room. Problem solved.

I don't see why it has to be them alone but I can understand your EXs desire to size up the new woman who is becoming step mom to your 5 year old.

It sounds like mom finding the condoms was like cold water being thrown on her libido. You can't really want to deal with what will happen if mom catches you in the act. Do not have anybody medically alter your testosterone levels. You don't need that. You simply need some patience, a little compassion & some self control. Any chance you can spring for a local motel this weekend?

I really don't understand why you took up with somebody who still lived with his baby mamma. That seems very odd to me. However since he moved out shortly after you two started up, it's OK. I just said this to somebody else in a different thread. As a life tip IMO you should never talk to your new SO's EX or worse the person the SO is allegedly leaving you for. If such a person exists, that alone is enough for me to not get started. It's all too much drama if you have to be involved with this person. People (usually woman) who go seek out the 1st one are pot stirrers & trouble IMO This guy made some choices. Maybe he monkey-branched to you but you are not a homewrecker. Things between him & her were troubled long before you entered the picture. Even if you represented a soft landing, you are not a home wrecker. Cut yourself a break. Especially since this is over, just put him & the trainwreck that is his life in your rearview mirror & move on.

Stop. You are not in love with this guy. Divest yourself of that notion immediately. You have never even dated him. You can't be in love with him. At best you are infatuated with him. However he's a gaslighting, lying, louse. He had no business calling you when he was in a relationship. You were right to demand that relationship end before anything could happen between you. When he wasn't fully free within a few weeks that was your cue to break it off completely & stop talking to him. You did not make him insecure. All you did was have boundaries. He wanted to use you as a side piece. You are not the one in the wrong here. He is. Stop blaming yourself & do not let him blame you for his failures & shortcomings. Basic life tip: do not embroil yourself in the drama of talking to someone's SO or immediate EX If the person you want to date is still so enmeshed with someone else, just walk away & let them have the person. It's never worth it to get caught up in all their drama. I'm sorry this guy led you on. It's not time to put on your big girl pants & enforce your boundaries. Find a quality man with morals & ethics. That is not this guy. You can do better. Since you met him at a family function you would do well to inform your family member of what a jerk he is.

I'm sorry the other girls on your trip are not embracing you. Good for you for making other friends & acquaintances. Sometimes distance can kill fledgling relationships. I think your STBxBF is correct: he's too immature for you. Let him go so then you can have some hot whirlwind fling while studying abroad.

You absolutely do not deserve the hurt or the pain. You are a good person, especially for taking care of your mom. Can you get any sort of respite care so you can get out of the house some? You need things to distract you from him.

No it's not. If that is your definition of good you have issues. Get counseling. Any aggressive or meanspirited unwelcome touching is abusive.

You need to get out of this relationship. Going forward if you are not open to sexual activity NEVER get in bed with somebody. I am not victim shaming or blaming. I am trying to infuse some prevention & common sense. That will avoid things like this.

I would hope not. I am concerned about the other guy who seems to have a comment about everything concerning you & this woman.

Stop talking to work colleagues about this. There is no need to drag half the office into your interactions. If you are going to date a colleague, discretion is required. Go on this outing with this woman you fancy & her friend. See what happens. That is the only way you will know for sure.

You got your answer. He wasn't as invested in you as you hoped. Deep down you knew that was the case which is why you avoided speaking to him. "Testing" someone is usually a bad idea. Your friend who suggested it is the blind leading the blind; she doesn't know much more about healthy mature relationships than you do. Be wary of her advice in the future but also trust your instincts. You knew something was off. Have enough faith in yourself to address issues directly with words.

Don't be surprised if the other girl is her friend who likes you. If that is the case, once she tries to fix you up, she will never date you because at that point it would be disloyal to her friend.

She made the handholding comment to use humor to defuse an otherwise awkward situation. She has no interest in escalating. If she is talking about setting you up with her friend that is a neon sign telling you that she does not see you as a potential romance partner.

He shouldn't do anything. He made a decision to be done with her. Granted he was trying to wake her up to her abandonment / endangerment of his cats but she can't see that. So if she's having a major crisis like being in the hospital, he can model good behavior by caring for her dog but other than that he gets to ignore her going forward. Just because she is old doesn't mean she grew wise or kind.

Don't be terrified. The only think that happened is you presently don't have a BF. You are still you. You have your education. You have your friends & family. It will be different. Change can be scary but you will be OK. I wasn't much of a reader around break ups. Read things that make you feel better. If that is Marcus Aurelius, so be it. Do keep active especially when you don't want to. Go outside at least once per day. Keep up with your studies. Take a walk. Go to the gym. Surround yourself with positive & supportive friends & family.

He's not gaslighting you. He's outright lying to you. You are gaslighting yourself, making excuses & trying hard to make this not true. Let's look at what you do know: 1. He lied about going to the club. 2. He may have kissed another woman while there 3. He got blackout drunk which could indicate a serious problem 4 He deliberately hid another woman's phone # in his phone under a false name 5. He is gaslighting you about why he did that. Her "nickname" is not his friend's name. 6. He must think you are an idiot or a fool if you will believe such an obvious lie. 7. He wants to party & you don't 8. All his friends cheat; it's their culture. Birds of a feather. . You know you need to end this. It just hurts & it sucks. But the reality is this relationship is done. There is no coming back from this especially because he doesn't want to. If you stay all you are going to get are more lies

I wanted to but back then the event for my demographic kept getting cancelled & rescheduled because not enough men signed up. Why do you ask?

If you can scrape together a few bucks perhaps hire him a life coach. If money is an issue check some coaching books out of the library. You can't find his purpose. He has to do that himself. There are guides on the internet but he has to do the exercises.

Of course you did the right thing breaking up with this woman. Her family sounds horrid & her by extension & by refusing to tell them to stop being horrible. She enabled all that rudeness. My only question is why are you questioning your decision?