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About biscuit2020

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  1. Whether or not they have an exclusive romantic relationship doesn't really play into it, at least as far I'm willing to admit to myself right now. I'm obviously personally hurt that she's chosen to have a relationship of some sort with someone else rather than reconcile with me, but that's my problem. Maybe I should not have expected her to be honest with me about it, but if someone were trying to rekindle a relationship with me, I'd tell them if I was seeing someone else, even if that didn't affect how I felt about getting back together. I suspect she's keeping it from me because she knows I'
  2. It feels awful and I'm very embarrassed of myself. She's obviously free to do what she wants, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
  3. I strongly suspect that it's more than a FWB situation since she's on at least one occasion lied to me to cover up that she was seeing him, but it doesn't matter anymore. I need to accept that we're strangers. It's not like I'd consider her at all trustworthy even if she had some revelatory change of heart.
  4. You're exactly right. I just want to let this go. THere is a lot of shame surrounding this, like a bullied kid who won't tell anyone or stop it because he doesn't want to acknowledge what's happening.
  5. She definitely wanted something to do with me. We were seeing each other and talking to one another, and even slept together a few times. You're right though that it isn't just bad luck. I've definitely allowed things I'm not comfortable with to continue and I don't know why. I guess in this case I had invested a lot and carried a good amount of guilt. I'm also two months into a brand new life and feeling very rootless. I just need to walk away from all this but it's honestly most of what I have right now. I've tried building up my support network and it's helped, but it's still awfully lonel
  6. I'd suspected she'd been hiding something and I did a little research that I'm not proud of. Her car wasn't where it should be if she'd been telling me the truth. It was outside the house of a guy she said she had no interest in. It was there last night.
  7. My reluctance during the relationship was mostly about being uncertain that I could make the sort of commitment that she reasonably expected. I loved her. When we split, I was surprised how strong the grief was. The limbo afterward was maintained by her. I was very consistent in what I wanted. This is definitely not a situation I'd like to maintain. I need to cut all contact again, and the only real decisions surrounding that involve whether or not I explain myself. I'm mostly interested in understanding the behavior and any role I might have had in it.
  8. She's 27, I'm 33. She clearly has no respect for anyone. I mean good god. She's so polished and committed to these lies. It's something you'd need to experience first-hand to fully appreciate. I'm still stuck on her because I genuinely think our connection was incredibly strong and deep. It was honestly the best relationship I've ever had, and I regret how my own issues and patterns of handling conflict affected it. I'm also just profoundly confused about why she'd bother deceiving me in the first place. I wouldn't have been elated to hear that she was seeing someone, but it's not like I wo
  9. I broke up with my gf of two years back in mid-June. She'd been pressing for commitment and I was becoming increasingly aloof, so I ended it. She was very upset, or at least seemed to be. A month later I tried to get her back. This went on for two months. I had the feeling she was seeing someone else, but she insisted she was not. Ultimately, I broke off contact. She was lying. I know she has a boyfriend, and it's the same guy she was seeing last summer. After about a month of no contact, I received a letter from her, saying she thinks of me all the time and misses me but still doesn't know
  10. I know, but honestly it wasn't abusive, at least I don't think so. We were both shocked that the police showed up. I don't know why I even feel the need to explain it here. I just feel extremely scrutinized all over again and it's odd how quickly I feel right back in the space I was in ten years ago. I know I need to do all I can to put as much distance between us as possible and erase her from my life. I have sought therapy for depression and I feel like I'm much better off now, but in some ways the old difficulties just yielded to newer ones. I'm really trying to work through the commit
  11. I'm just anxious and obsessing a bit. She does have a few hundred people on her social media accounts and seeing the things she's said and how much support she'd getting is uncomfortable. I feel like I've been maligned and pilloried for the sake of building a brand. I wish I never knew about this.
  12. Yes, I'm still pining over my most recent ex. My commitment issues were almost entirely about my ex-wife. This whole "abusive" thing has taken me right back to that place ten years ago, afraid to openly discuss anything or show any emotion at all out of fear that she'd start telling her friends and family I was abusing her. This was something she liked to doing. obviously i wasn't a saint and occasionally became impatient, lost my temper, or was unkind, but the way she would present herself as helpless little girl when just the night before she was throwing things at me was frightening to beho
  13. That's the plan for now, but I"m very hurt and confused. She'd thrown "Abusive" at me a few times as the marriage was failing, but to see something like this ten years after the fact has pretty well shocked me. What's really funny is that she'd been on my mind a bit and I'd genuinely considered reaching out and seeing if we could have a cordial friendship of some sort. I mean, I'm glad I'm not married to her anymore but we did spend a good chunk of our lives together, you know? I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with a similar thing. DId anyone ever mention your ex's allegations to you?
  14. I've just spent an hour absolutely scouring my facebook to remove any trace. I think I'll need to mention this to a few family members who had posted photos of us, as well.
  15. My state maintains online records of divorces, among other things. If you look me up, you'll find the name. While I don't talk about my ex-wife often with anyone, let alone new romantic partners, I'm concerned that I'll no longer be able to discuss anything at all about it, or feel paranoid that I may end up having to explain to someone curious about her that I didn't abuse my ex-wife. It's all conjecture and I'm obssessing a bit in the wake of these accusations, which were the first I really heard anything about my ex in nearly ten years.
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