Ten days and counting… in Healing After Break Up or Divorce Posted September 15, 2019 It’s been ten days now since I told my ex that I couldn’t/wouldn’t continue a relationship with her as her ‘friend’. I’m feeling a little better each day, and for the larger part of most days I somehow manage not to focus on how much I already miss her. But then along comes a day like this. From the moment I opened my eyes this morning, she’s been everywhere I look and in everything I hear. All I can think of is being with her and seeing her face, hearing her voice again. We never fought, we rarely argued, we shared so many common interests, and our time together was joyous and loving and fun. There was no cheating, no abuse, and our split was not bitter or hostile or blaming. I know that in previous posts I mentioned that I was needy and desperate and clingy, and I was. But that’s so out of character for me, and it only occurred during the last few months of our two+ years together, when I was confused to feel the distance beginning to grow between us, and she was too uncertain of her feelings to be able to state them clearly to either of us. So I can’t explain why this has happened, except to acknowledge that she simply fell out of love with me. It just happens sometimes, I know, and most often for reasons no one can explain. But it horrifies me, frankly, that something apparently so solid and stable and real can end up with little more substance than a dream. This isn’t my first rodeo, y’all, trust me. So I definitely have a firm grasp on the vagaries of love and relationships. Even so, if I believed in the concept of someone being ‘The One’, I’d have bet the house that it was her. Despite my prior life experiences, I’ve never known anything like this. Now I wonder how I’ll ever trust that feeling again, or even if that’ll ever be an option for me. I’d give everything I have to be with her again, though I don’t harbor any hopes for that happening, as much as I’d like to. So I don’t really have a question, not really looking for advice. I’m just very sad today, to understate the issue, and I suppose I’m just looking for a shoulder to cry on. I miss her so much, and I still love her with all my broken heart. But no matter; it’s just another day.