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iamjustme

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Everything posted by iamjustme

  1. Hi all, I haven't been fully honest. I didn't want to give the right situation so gave one as near to the reality as I could. However, im in such a mess I need to be honest. I went to the abortion clinic today but couldnt go through with it and have a one hour councelling session on Tues to help me make a decision. But back to the real situation. My partner is a woman. We've been together 11 years and she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She never wanted kids. She wants a childfree life filled with travel, etc. I have been conflicted for 7 years about having or not having children. We split up over it briefly when i was 36 and got back together after i decided to go with her decision. I thought i could forget about it, move on and live a satisfied life. But at around age 40 I started wanting to have a baby all over again. I met with a sperm donor but couldn't go through with artificial insemination. So i moved on again. Then at age 42 the baby thing went insane. I was aware time either had run out or was running out. So I met with the same sperm donor - a man who wants involvement with child when child asks about him. Then my sister got pregnant and baby scans and photos arrived left, right and centre. Eventually I got pregnant at age 43 using artificial insemination. I am about 6 weeks now and the scan shows a heartbeat! This is my one and only chance to be a parent. But i will lose my partner who i love. I will lose my home. I will be a struggling single mother with zero support. Also, i was abused as a child. I came from a very crazy home and i have had mental health problems in the past. I'm aware i went behind my partners back to achieve a pregnancy i thought would never happen and without really thinking it all through! I feel guilty about how hurt and upset she is now. The relationship is not over though. She's willing to move on and forgive, but she does not want to bring up a child. So it is a case of her or the baby.
  2. I thought many things. I thought i'm too old, it won't happen. I thought if it happens, it's meant to be. I thought he'll change his mind. I thought i can do it alone if he doesn't change his mind. So many thought were going through my mind. And they still are. I still think he might change his mind even though he has told me he won't and it has to be my decision what I do. I even think (or maybe hope is a better word) that if I have the child he will change his mind. Nothing is clear in my mind about this. Nothing jumps out and tells me what I should do. Yes, I have thought about the unborn child. That's why I am torn. If I didn't think about this child, then it would make it easier to go through with the abortion.
  3. Yes, I do work. I could probably survive financially as a single mother, but I'm not sure if I could survive without my partner. I do love him.
  4. I haven't made the decision. I've been given a week to think it through. I can't take any longer because by the time of my appointment I will be just over 6 weeks pregnant.
  5. I always rescue animals or insects that need help. I hate to kill ANYTHING. The GP told me the fetus is just a ball of cells at this stage, but I still feel I will be killing something that is alive. But you cannot be alive if you haven't even been born.
  6. i did suggest adoption but he thinks i will change my mind when the baby is born. plus he can't have me staying in the house while getting more and more along with the pregnancy. he said it will make him feel obliged to stand by me. i have an appointment at a clinic in a week for an assessment of which he wants to attend and then they give you two pills to take for the medical abortion. if i decide to continue the pregnancy then he wants me out within the next couple of months because he doesn't want to see the pregnancy.
  7. He says he wants me and only me. No baby. He was mad for a moment and shocked and now he's just stressed out at the thought of losing me. He won't change his mind though. The relationship is not over in his eyes. He is willing to continue it, but without the baby. He's 40 years old.
  8. i'm not innocent in this. yes, i tricked him. i always wanted kids and he didn't and i always thought he'd change his mind. i've not been using contraception for 8 months. so i'm as much to blame here and i accept that. i hate myself for what has happened. i can't afford to buy him out of the house so he'll have to buy me out. he is a lovely, kind man who loves animals. he just doesn't like kids. he has no kids whatsoever in his life. when i try to show him photos of kids in my family he can't stand to look. he will drop friends who have become parents! i've always thought i can help him to learn to like kids. i've tried to understand where the problem comes from. he just says he dislikes children.
  9. I'm a 43 year old woman who is just over 5 weeks pregnant. My partner does not want this child. I have no children. If I have the child then my 11 year old relationship will be over. My partner will have to remortgage and buy me out of the house. I'll be a single mother with no support system where I live. I'll have to move back to my place of birth and be around my family who have problems and affect my mental health. If I have a medical abortion then the problem is solved EXCEPT I want this baby and I don't know if I can live with the regret of having an abortion. If I have the baby, I don't know if I can live with the regret of losing my partner. This is the worst situation I've ever been in. I keep living on hope that my partner will change his mind, but he's been very clear that he does not want to be a parent. He values his freedom. He is clear he will not change his mind. I've even thought about having the baby, buying a place near my partner and waiting to see if he will change his mind eventually, but I don't think I could cope alone as a single parent with zero support. He isn't forcing me into an abortion. He says it has to be my decision. I just can't decide though because I want both the baby and him:upset:
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