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pink334

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About pink334

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  1. Up until the second break up I was living positively and believed my hardships made me into the better person I am today. I still live positively in every aspect now except relationships. Now I think my hardships messed me up. If I never had my hardships then maybe things would have worked with this guy because then I would have had nothing to worry about.
  2. Yeah what we're going through sounds similar I do agree with what you said about. I agree that it would be hard for us to get back together and like you said about your situation. Here too communication was bad before both breakups. I do not understand what happened either time. I think it will take years to make things right with him or for me to even meet another guy if I somehow decide to date again. This guy has raised my standards so high. I have been sitting with my feelings for months though and with more time that passes, I just feel like things are getting worse. I feel like the o
  3. I'm actually really bubbly and happy in person. No one can even imagine me being upset and they all tell me this. That's what most people and guys like about me, But I cannot stop being unhappy about this situation. I even had to see him today and I could barely smile around him. I tried to but I can't even pretend. I really want things to be ok between us but what I really think I need is an apology or something from him which I don't think I'll get when I can barely look at him. I'm not angry at him but I am so unhappy with the situation
  4. well that's probably because I have faced a lot of rejection, disappointment, and hard times in my life. Then every time I try to go forwards anyways like this happens to me. I have been to therapy before and honestly I would go again if it had been helpful. But evidently it has not been otherwise I would probably be in a happy relationship right now or at least not dealing with these emotions
  5. Most people just tell me to keep unintentionally ignoring him but that actually makes me feel worse.
  6. Actually my boyfriends would probably think the exact opposite of me holding on too tightly. Lately, I have wondered if that is the difficulty I face in relationships. It is hard for me to be the first to text etc.. To them I probably look indifferent or not so into them when really I do like them. I think it probably takes me a lot longer than most girls to feel comfortable doing that stuff. I wouldn't say I move slower, I just get nervous when I like someone and overthink that stuff. I think then I overcompensate after the relationship with the emotions I feel. I did break up with a 2 year
  7. And I know people on here mean the best and our being upfront about it. But you don't know my whole story. You can't fathom why I feel this way about life because you haven't lived my life.
  8. Yeah I am really angry at myself. I am not angry at him but I do wish he could have done some stuff differently. He was bad at communicating and sometimes I wasn't the best either. I am angry about that and I feel like I didn't do enough to keep him. I still don't know if he is actually moving or not and a part of me wonders if that was the issue for the break up. He pretty much broke up with me saying that he was moving but then said that he didn't know if he was moving. Bad communication on his part. And I guess that is the one question I have for him but I don't want to ask and find out dif
  9. it already took me a lot of personal reflection to allow myself to develop feelings for him. i once in an emotionally abusive relationship with a guy who i think i loved. I do not have it in my heart to feel like that for someone else again. He will be the only person and if he doesn't want me then I will accept being alone. thank you for your time.
  10. you know what. this is the way i feel and i don't think anything will stop me from feeling this way. i also don't like that your one piece of advice is therapy because it doesn't help everyone.
  11. But I always have feelings for the guy and they never have them for me. I thought things were different this time. He did all the things a guy does when they really liked someone. I don't ever want to fall in love again if I am only going to get hurt. I don't think I will after him. He was so special to me. Also, I am not always been pleasant around him because I can't. I can barely look him in the eyes. He probably thinks I'm being rude or mean to him, which he doesn't deserve but I am so hurt. edit: i can maybe accept loving him from a far but I feel like part of that for me would be to
  12. I have said, those things are nice but the way I have really connected with these people is through our hobby. I also want to continue getting better at it and I know it's not helping me because I will have to see but why should I stop doing it because of my ex. I do want to still be with him but I also want my hobby. If I can't be with him at least I can still have my hobby.
  13. Well I'm glad someone is going through something similar. I have said this before though, he was actually gone for over a month so I had no choice but to not see him. Even that forced not seeing each other thing did not help me though. If I stop going to my hobby, it will probably be permanently or for at least a year. I don't want to stop because then I have no way to get better and practice. It's also now so ingrained in who I am as a person and what I do often. I don't even want to do something else on the evenings where it is hosted. I will probably stay at home and do nothing if I don't g
  14. I would actually like to point out that I have been broken up with more times than I have been the dumper. I am more used to a guy not liking me. I also never did any of the chasing with this guy. He did. And I will see my friends a lot less often if I don't go to my hobby. I don't know what else we would do if I stop going. I occasionally watch a movie with some of them or they host a party but it's just not the same as enjoying our hobby together.
  15. Actually I have never broken up with a guy after only dating a short time. If I do not like a guy, I will know immediately after meeting them or after the first date. I will then stop all contact and not lead them on. The only time I have broken up with someone, was after a 2 year relationship. And really that relationship should only have lasted a couple months. We were not right for each other in any sense. I don't get why that relationship was so long and this one short. It should have been the other way around. In all honestly, getting broken up with after only dating a short time has no
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