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mysteryguy01

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  1. @abitbroken. Not childish at all. If I were speaking to you through text and you asked me a question, I would not just let it sit. I would answer you or let you know that I can't talk at the moment or say give me a minute. That's just proper courtesy. That's not asking for much. And to prove your point wrong, like I said before, there have been PLENTY of times when we haven't talked for many many days and I said not a single word. I just find it very funny how everyone feels like I don't have the right to let someone know something that rubs me the wrong way. That's what you do. You speak up otherwise, nothing gets solved because the issue hasn't been brought up. If I never said anything, you guys would be all like "Oh well that's your fault for not saying anything". Also, you can save the judgmental comments for another post.
  2. @bluecastle.. No I'm fine with the dip in text messages. There have been plenty of times where we didn't talk for a few days. And that's just perfectly fine. During those moments, there was no drop off from the face of the earth. We could go a month without talking and I would be fine if I just had the courtesy heads-up. I think somehow the through everyone's messages, the topic got skewed to I'm expecting/Wanting us to be texting all day vs hey, just let me know SOMETHING so we aren't leaving off with me asking you a question and then radio silence. We've actually been chatting some tonight via text because he finally decided now was the time to send a message once he saw I deleted him on PlayStation. But I think I know what I'm going to do from here so I can probably close this post.
  3. @HealingLight. No, you didn't come across as mean or anything and I get what you're saying. I don't know. I feel like though, where is the consideration for me when I've stated/requested already that he not do that? I have never asked anything of him except this one thing and it's not like the request is an out of this world 100% ridiculous request. He isn't just some joe blow "occasional" friend. He's supposed to be a best friend and I would hope that he would have more care to how I feel about the situation.
  4. @bluecastle. Thanks for your comments. I like what you said, especially the last paragraph. We'll see what happens though. I think I'm pretty much done with him. Whether or not our communication expectations match up or not is one thing (like what you said), but I feel like if you can't respect me enough/have the decency to acknowledge that I'm trying to ask about the issue when you know it bothers me, than why bother at all.
  5. @Misscanuck and @LH Girl... make sure you guys read another message I wrote right before this one. (I think we were all typing at the same time) But thank you guys for taking the time to give me your thoughts and input.
  6. And also as an update to everything, let me just add I was on PlayStation late last night enjoying a game when he signed online and popped in a game of his own. If he's got time to do that, then there was plenty of time to answer my question in the proceeding 10+ hours.
  7. @MissCanuck. Good morning. No, I am not in love with him. There are no romantic feelings between us. Text has always been our primary mode of communication (#2 being voice chat on PlayStation and #3 being actual phone call) I do not think it is such a high expectation to simply follow something that I have requested a few times in the past to him already. (Ex 1- Hey, if you know you are busy and will take 20 hours to respond to my very first reply, just don't send the starter text to begin with. Just wait. Ex 2- Take the situation above but just have him add in something simple like "hey, I'm also doing things right now so might not be able to respond for a while.) But most importantly, don't ignore me/the issue at hand when I ask/bring it to your (his) attention again, like yesterday.
  8. @Cherylyn. Good morning. It's not that I have too much time on my hands (except maybe weekends when I'm off haha). I work a full time time job AND hit the gym 4x a week. Being an "Uber" for your family hardly constitutes as being Level 10 Super Busy. Sorry. I'm not trying to degrade him, but it's true. You (he) can easily get in a message at any given point whereas I would have to choose my spots since I am working. I feel like everyone is reading/treating this as we've been texting for hours on whatever day and then all of a sudden it happens to take him a while to reply to the next message. That's not what I'm trying to relay. I don't like it when I ask a question and he chooses to ignore it. Apparently he doesn't seem to care if I am actually trying to take a moment to ask/find out what is going on. I do not see how I am at fault with that especially since I've asked in the past to be mindful of that.
  9. Well thank you for your comments!! I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and give their opinions. Just as a friendly suggestion though, you might not want to come down so hard on people with harsh judgement. Something that seems so trivial to you could be something that matters to someone else. But once again, thank you for taking the time to voice your opinions! I hope you have a good rest of the night.
  10. So Hollyj, are you saying that if you were texting your best friend and started off with (lets say) hey whatcha doing? And he/she said something like Ohh nothing much, just watching tv. And then you said Ohh okay. Well hey, there's something I want to ask. And then he/she NEVER send anything else.... You're telling me you wouldn't feel some kind of way about that?
  11. @Hollyj. I promise I'm not, haha. There is nothing to obsess over. I work, I have my own place, my own car. He only has one of those. He's just a good friend that I wish would stop doing one particular thing. Everyone seems to be overlooking how I've already taken the steps and discussed my concerns to him and that he's still doing it. Where is the fault on his end for letting my concerns fall on deaf ears?
  12. What would you call "real friends"? Ironically enough, before we ever met in person, things were pretty much fine. And we have had a few opportunities to hang out in person so it's not a friendship that is 100% through text. If I had this issue with anyone else, I would feel/say the same thing.
  13. I like your resonse But what would you say about the other stuff? Like the fact how I've mentioned to him before how it bugs me. And then also how I asked today what happened last night. When I asked about last night, he replied in like one min and said what do you mean to which I promptly explained what I was talking about and if he could elaborate on what happened. For me to not get any response after that, you have to admit, that goes beyond having a bad response time. It would have taken like 5 seconds to say something like "oh, I was half asleep when we were texting and my phone was on vibrate and I didn't hear it and fell asleep". (Just an example bc that's not what happened. He was perfectly capable last night of switching out games on PS4 so he was perfectly capable to respond)
  14. Yes, I work full time. And no, not too many people that I hang out with. There are maybe a handful of women that I used to work with that I may occasionally see, but not on the regular. And he doesn't work because he is technically not medically cleared (auto accident a few years ago with ongoing court case). He's not mangled or crippled or anything. Just a technicality I guess. And I want to be clear about the texting issue, it's not like I'm saying hey, lets text 15 hours straight. I just have a huge problem with the whole purposely not responding thing. Like, don't finally reply to me and then after I reply, you don't say anything else the entire day. Also keep in mind I have brought my concerns to his attention and just like today, I asked if he could let me know what happened last night and he hasn't said anything else. I'm not saying I know everything in his life, but I know enough that he isn't THAT busy. I'm just asking for some respect and courtesy. I compare it to as if we were talking on the phone, then he hung up and didn't answer when I called back.
  15. So here's a little background info. I'm a guy and my best friend is a guy who lives in another state. We've known each other for several years via PlayStation and just recently over the past few months, have had the opportunity to finally meet in person. (10 years in the making and he's visited here 3 times and I've been there once). It's only after our long awaited first meeting that we made the "official" jump from friends to best friends. We just have a really good connection with each other, despite the fact that I'm a gay male and he is a straight male. It's the weirdest thing now though. During our years of near daily chatting on PlayStation, texting, and occasional phone calls, I can only recall only once when we weren't on the same page and stopped talking for a year. (On his behalf, which he admitted he dropped the ball and extended the olive branch a year later). Now that we've met in person, there have been like THREE times (over the past 2 months) where he and I got into it and I was ready to call it quits. So here is the most recent issue. It's a matter of our texting conversation and knowing when the conversation is over and not being ignored. Over this past week alone, I can count about 4 times where we are in the middle of a conversation or it's just getting started and he just flat out does not respond to the last thing I said. I'll give it plenty of time and then give one to two follow up texts that are basically like hey, you still there. We've had this conversation before and this was actually one of the previous fights. We've also been in this scenario a few times before as well. He will say something like "Well I don't check my phone every single minute" (Well if you are in the middle of a conversation, shouldn't you be doing that?) OR "I didn't feel like what you said was good enough to continue the conversation" (which really irked me. He said this all because we were talking one day and he told me what he was doing and I responded with "Oh I see") OR "I didn't have time to respond because I was busy" (To which I said was perfectly fine, but please don't start a text conversation if you are busy and know that you are going to write two sentences and not respond to my message until 10 hours later. JUST DON'T START THE MESSAGE TO BEGIN WITH. JUST WAIT.) I should let everyone know that he does NOT work or anything. His typical daily routine is chauffeuring around his family members that he lives with and running errands for the family. (Because no one other than him can/will drive for various reasons). Anyhow, I honestly believe that he is dropping the ball and making me feel like crap. When we talked about this in the past, he was very defensive and that's what lead to an argument. Eventually he said that he would do better but I'm not seeing it. And yes, I have a history of depression (which I've been fine over the past 10 years up until these recent months) and yes I'm a loner and extremely short on friends. In order to spare my emotions, I'm thinking about either ignoring him or cutting him off completely. I don't know what to do. The incident last night.... just started a text conversation, exchanged like four sentences, then he stopped replying. And we were both online on PlayStation so in between my reply and then follow-up reply #1 and #2, I could see he was switching out games so he was obviously still there but didn't answer. He completely left me hanging last night. Today I followed up and sent a "hey" text message. Nothing. Few minutes later sent a message that said will you please talk to me. Finally got a reply a few minutes later that said hang on he was driving. Like an hour and a half later, got a text that he was at the mall with his siblings and cousin. I asked if he was able to tell me what happened last night and he has yet to respond. That last message I sent was 8 hours ago and despite politely asking if he can let me know what happened last night, I still have not heard back. Please help guys. What's your advice? And incase anyone is wondering (to affect what advice you give), no I am NOT in love with him. I know it may seem overkill to end a friendship over this but I have already told him previously how I felt about this and how common courtesy would be nice.
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