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Everything posted by shesmaudlin

  1. Okay so here is my dilemma. I have become more aware in the past that I have made a lot of “personal” postings on my social media over the past 8 years. I now want to be more private while still keeping my social media presence; only lowkey. I moved states almost exactly 8 years ago now, and in my new city I know almost everyone cuz it’s a small town kind of place. I want to sort of delete my social media presence, but mostly only so that people in my current city can’t find me on social media. I think it’s a good idea for future jobs as well to clean my socials, but also make it hard for these locals to find me. I miss my friends from home and since I don’t see them everyday, of course I want to keep them on my social media. I am wanting to be more private online in general while still being able to see friends posts/milestones etc. My thing is the fact that I don’t really want anyone in my current city to find me online. Like I said I generally know everyone here, and I have a bunch of people I went to high school with during my last two years here on FB. I literally don’t talk to anyone from this high school anymore, because I didn’t know anyone when I moved. I kept to myself the last two years of high school and graduated almost quietly. Any friends I’ve made while here in that high school I’ve lost communication with. So I want to delete anyone who I don’t even keep up with nor do I want to catch up with on FB. It’s weird because the high school I went to before in my hometown, I still have friends that I talk to and have on social media, and even people I wasn’t really friends with I would keep on there still. Is it weird that I don’t want to keep any friends I made in my new town on any of my social media anymore? I really don’t know why I feel like it’s weird for me to have people I potentially run into almost every day know my online presence as well. It’s not weird if they’re from my hometown though, because I don’t see those people everyday, and I really made my social media to keep up with my old friends and family. So yeah my question is, would it be a good idea to just remove any association with people in my current city? I even want to remove any hints of where I live, cuz having my profile setting to show where I lived made it generally easier for local people to find me. Honestly I haven’t been too fond of living here either, and I’m a little embarrassed of some of the people I have befriended in the past, who were either toxic, or just plain not my type of friend (who can still look at my profile since I forget to unfriend them). I’d like to forget about it and pretty much pretend like I’m invisible while I still have to live here for however long until I decide to move. Any advice is appreciated, thank you!
  2. Is it me or are the platinum members on this site super bitter? It’s like I posted on some forums to get advice and it seems that everyone is more attacking me instead I giving me advice in at least a nicer manner. I haven’t even had room to tell my entire story nor do I ever post daily updates, I post only what I wanted advice on and I’m being painted and made out to look like I’m crazy af or extremely delusional. And everyone is under the impression that I wanted a relationship with the guy I was talking which I never stated in any of my posts. Idk you guys come off as rude rather than helpful, I don’t appreciate it. The posts specifically telling me to seek a therapist and that I had a fantasy going on in my head.
  3. That bit where you told me to please seek a therapist was totally unnecessary and uncalled for. I don’t appreciate it, I came to this forum asking for advice on this situation and you unfortunately don’t know the whole story. And you don’t know whether I’m seeking help from a therapist already or not. No I’m not on this site seeking mental health help, of course that’s something for a therapist outside of the internet to deal with. And I didn’t appreciate that comment you made about me sending nudes for attention because I never did any of that for him to start caring for me or whatever it was you said. So again, thanks for those kind words!
  4. It wasn’t a poop emoji lol, he sent the word poop (his way of saying damn he says idk) but anyways I guess thanks for the kind words
  5. So in regards to my last few posts I just want to say that I regret pretty much everything that’s happened with this guy. Judging from the comments on these threads it’s clear and obvious that he doesn’t really give two s about me and he just wants me for my body (which he can’t even have anymore at this time cuz I live far lmao) it sucks because I really caught feelings for the dude because of how sweet he used to be and the fact that he even continued talking to me at all which he didn’t really have to do, because there’s nothing in it for him besides pics of everything he’s pretty much already seen (during sex and we’ve sent each other nudes way before and after) I’ve wanted to send him long paragraphs cutting our losses and telling him how I had fun the last time I saw him and the sex was great but that I already get it’s not gonna happen again but I don’t want to waste my time if he really isn’t going to care or have a real conversation with me. I guess the best way to go about this is to just ghost him completely, which should be easy since I removed him from social media and we’ve only texted and FaceTimed. I’ll probably end up either ignoring or blocking his number (a bit dramatic) honestly the only thing I’m having trouble with is really how to move on from this because I’m truly stuck and I don’t want to be anymore... I cringe now at every memory from the nights I spent with him a few months ago.... I don’t want to cringe, I want to smile about it. It’s a cringeworthy thought now to think it’s been all fake this entire time. I really felt okay like it was fine to do what I did at the time but now I’m really questioning my own judgment and wondering why I thought it would be okay to do any of that. I really wanted to see him again because I missed my friend and I also missed kissing him, but I don’t think it’d be a good idea to continue speaking with him, as I see everyone’s made it clear he is playing me. Thanks for reading my rant, and thanks for the advice.
  6. So I sent a text saying “hey I just wanted to say that I love you! That is all.” With a heart emoji at the end to the guy I talked about in my last thread. It was copied and pasted from a text I had sent to a friend. I wanted to see his reaction to it, see if he would ignore it or say it back or if he’d maybe change the subject quickly. He replied with “poop” and “thought I replied lol” (referring to the last text I sent him) so I just said “disregard that last message” (the one where I said I love you) and he said “no lol” and then he replied with “I love you more” I was a little bit shook and I sent a heart and said “just felt like giving my love lol. Sorry if I’m weird.” Then “wyd” and then he goes “waiting for you to send a pic of that ass” with a smiley face. Was feeling a little relieved about his text before until he said that, then I’m just like welp. 🙄 (yes we are in our 20s so I know how childish this sounds) would you say something like that after telling someone you love them? Like he figured “hey I did her a favor and said it back, send me nudes?” Idk bruh I’m confused lol
  7. I didn’t fly out there specifically for the sole reason of losing my virginity to him lol, it was to visit home and we agreed to see each other while I was up there. But yes its the same guy.
  8. No I’m not local anymore. I visit home frequently, so that’s why I saw him again...
  9. We also don’t live in the same state anymore, so that’s why I keep wracking my head on whether he’d act on his feelings if it were different. He’s been texting me a lot lately, he just texted me yesterday telling me he hopes I have a great day and I just ignored him because I don’t want to let myself feel more confused about how he’s feeling towards me anymore. I mean we don’t live in the same state anymore so it shouldn’t matter. I visit home a lot and that’s why I saw him again but now I’m starting to feel ridiculous for feeling anything at all...
  10. I guess you’re right, I probably am a bit too attached. He texted me yesterday saying he hopes I have a great day and I just ignored him cuz I hate feeling confused. If he doesn’t text me again after that I guess I’ll just leave the whole thing alone and never text him again.
  11. It’s more because we’ve never been serious or been able to be serious in the past so we’d simply go from talking on the phone and messaging every day for a week or something to him not texting anymore. I tried not taking it personal since we hadn’t even really seen each other in years anyway, so I’d let him go every time and whenever he came back I’d just talk to him again. I wasn’t really in the right and probably should have stopped talking to him forever but I kept saying “it’s whatever” every time.
  12. I (22F) was on FaceTime with an ex/friend (23M) the other day and we were joking around and flirting with each other. At some point he jokingly said “ugh I hate you” and I was too busy giggling that I didn’t reply so he went “I said I hate you” and I replied with “you love me.” He paused for second and said “I do.” I just deflected with some other joke and we continued talking a little more, forgetting about that. But it was kind of strange. This is sort of an ex, who I saw a couple months ago and hooked up with. We had reconnected a few months prior, but before that we hadn’t talked or seen each other in years cuz of his previous relationships and I also live states away now. So yeah ours is a complicated situation, we’re not dating but we still talk and flirt (occasionally if he doesn’t end up ghosting me cuz he started talking to someone new. It’s been an on and off thing of his to do that usually.) I know it’s silly, but now I wonder if he actually does love me or have any feelings towards me and that little thing made me feel even more curious. Any thoughts on what it could mean?
  13. Okay, so I forgot to mention, I knew this was supposed to be a casual encounter the whole time, because I didn’t expect anything to come out of it, but I also really wanted to have sex, and we were both available at the time and I was comfortable. After all that bull I mean it was still a pretty good first time and I wanted to take it more as fun and a learning experience. I guess I got blinded by how good it was tbh... but now I’m starting to see that after all this we really might end up in the same terms of not speaking again. I’m just wondering if I should initiate this first or not, because so far he hasn’t done anything wrong this time around and may take it somehow wrong if I just cut him off out of nowhere. It feels wrong but like a good bout of revenge. But I also feel like this time around after seeing him again could have been different? But idk. I just wanted to know if I should just cut ties while I still have him in my radar to avoid him doing it to me first or something...
  14. (THIS IS REALLY LONG IM SORRY, IF YOU READ IT ALL ILY OKAY, I REALLY NEED ADVICE, SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM FOR THE QUESTION/SUMMARY) Okay, so about 6 or 7 years ago while I was still in high school I met a guy who I really liked. The thing is I met this guy right before my family moved me 1000 miles away literally. So I totally fell for him and we became fast friends and for a while he had friend zoned me but then he eventually started to reciprocate his feelings towards me back. It was really bad timing to be honest. Eventually I had a going away/birthday party and I invited him, and my friend pulled him aside at the end of the party to convince him to give me a goodbye kiss since I was leaving. So I pretty much got my first kiss that night. So basically after, we hung out everyday that week up until moving day. He even told me a family member of his was living down where I was moving and that he would be visiting me when he went down there the next two weeks. Which he did, and he even spent the night with my family and I at my house and it was great. He really seemed to like me and all our fiends and family knew of us and they thought he cared for me. He even said at some point he wanted to do long distance but it didn’t work out that way since we were so young and in our teens still. Okay, so fast forward a little and eventually he started becoming cold and distant and we started arguing and most of the time in text or Skype, and it would end with me subbing him in an angry FB post he would later see. Eventually he stopped talking to me and blocked me on social media and a few months later was talking to someone new and dating them. It didn’t take long for it to become a cycle where, when he broke up with someone he was dating her quickly unblocked me and would try to talk to me again, get bored, and start talking to someone new, then blocking me once more. Everytime we started talking again I would pretend like nothing happened and it wasn’t a dumb rebound cycle. So to make this short, this cycle pretty much kept up on and off for the last few years since we’ve known each other, and the actual last time I had seen him in person was the few months after I had moved where I visited back home, and he honestly kind of played me then too. I heard through the grapevine and from seeing the pages of the people he’d date that he was in some pretty serious relationships but they never seemed to end well, and well then he was eventually trying to find me and put me back in his radar again even though I live far. Okay so fast forward even more to very recently, a month or two ago, we reconnected through social media after nearly 2 years of not speaking to each other bc he was in a pretty serious relationship this time and they broke up a half a year ago, and I was really missing him so I spoke with him a little. I was due for a visit home actually and I told him so, and he said that we would maybe see each other. Sooo, we made plans to see each other when I went up there. Eventually our talking got us on the topic of us both being single and reminiscing about what we had as kids and then we started talking randomly about sex. I had realized then that I had been a virgin so long and seeing how comfortable I was around him in the past, I knew he’d be a great candidate for my first time. So we discussed it, I told him the truth, and bam, I officially had my plans when I went up there. So I visited back home and he was actually the person I first saw. All these years later and he still looked the same but more handsome, and he said the same of me. It felt great seeing him again since I thought I never was going to see him again tbh. We kissed again and it was the same as all the years before... I really felt a connection again, and he said my lips felt the same. We hung out and caught up and eventually we went back to his house which brought back memories. We eventually had sex in his room while his family was home (asleep) and he really made the effort to make the first experience for me comfortable and feel good. He really took his time with foreplay and he pleased me before himself. He kissed me all over and kissed me tenderly as we had intercourse, and he asked if I was okay, and told me I was okay when I would moan. If it hurt he would stop and try to help me loosen up before going again. Afterwards, we cuddled a very short amount of time, he kissed me on my lips, neck, chest, and lastly my forehead which really made it feel special for me. What made this feel even better was how he made the effort to come get me when where I was visiting and staying at was almost an hour away from him. He picked me up and dropped me off even though it was sort of an inconvenience for him, I guess he really wanted to see me. He even bought me food after, and before we left his house he kissed and hugged me some more also. When he dropped me off we made out tenderly before I got it of the car and cuddled a little, and he didn’t leave until I got inside the house, which I thought was super sweet and gentlemanly of him. This whole time we spent together, it seemed like he really cared, especially for my first time and for it being us seeing each other after so long. I had no idea where we would stand after I went back home though, but I already figured we may never talk again after this, so I just tried to enjoy it. This whole situation happened twice in my whole trip. So I saw him again about three days ago, the day before I was due to go back home, and we had sex again. It was the same tender loving cycle but it seemed a bit more rushed I guess. Both times we’d spent together he displayed both signs that he was being sort of distant but also like he really cared for me so I’m confused. For instance, this time after the sex, he got up quickly and began dressing and looking at me to get dressed and went upstairs quickly to prepare to take me back, but afterwards in the car he let me hug and kiss him and tel him I had a great time, and that didn’t know when I would see him again, to which he replied that I would see him and he wanted to visit me. He also mentioned how we could hang out a little longer if I wanted but that he had to work early in the morning, but it wasn’t as late as it was the first time we hung out and he had to work that morning too. Anyways during this recent drive back I stayed particularly quiet and he kept putting his hand on my leg and asking me what I was thinking about, turning the music down to listen to me, and letting me hold and kiss his hand and kissing me at the lights. So I guess I’m just confused on why he wanted to get up from bed to drop me off so quickly and then he was tender and sweet afterwards, even kissing me goodbye while holding me and waiting for me to get inside again. Both times he texted me to either see how I was doing or tell me he had a great time and to have a safe flight. Now the last time I spoke to him was 2 days ago, through social media, where we said we missed each other. I have not tried initiating anything and neither has he. Do you think he will ghost me after all this effort to see each other and have sex twice, and was it possibly just meaningless to him so that he could get some? I’m not sure if he may ghost me because I live far and there’s nothing that can be done about it or if he really will continue to talk to me, and potentially visit in the future. Any advice on this is greatly appreciated! I would love to hear some similar stories and situations to go about this and see if maybe I should just cut him off before he does me, or continue staying connected with him after all that’s happened.... (THANK YOU FOR READING)
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