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BranLWS93

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  1. We were together for 8 months. I didn't mean to imply her reasoning wasn't legitimate. I know it was a hard decision for her because she was extremely emotional when we first spoke after the breakup and I know we both care for each other. I guess I meant I've had a harder time processing it then my other breakups. As you wrote, it was a shock to hear that my impression of our relationship was different than hers.
  2. Thanks everyone for your comments. Part of the struggle is all my previous breakups have had a legit reason. Both times in fact were due to long distance. Of course that was hard, but I at least understood the logic of it. With my recent ex, everything as far as compatibility was perfect on paper and I feel we had great chemistry. We truly always had fun together and just clicked from the beginning. Its hard to see how we went from Point A to Point B so quickly, without a second chance coming. I'd hoped some time away was all we needed, but she seems quite sure of herself this can't work. The death of hope is the hardest part.
  3. My ex and I broke up two months ago. It ended amicably and maturely, with her pulling the trigger. She said she felt something was off and she felt I was more in love with her than she was with me. She said I did nothing wrong, and that because I treated her so well, the decision was so hard for her. Anyways, we went no contact for at least a full month, when she actually contacted me first seeing how I was. I treaded carefully and regarded this as breadcrumbs but over the past three weeks, our texting increased and we were having fun text conversations together. She seemed genuinely happy to hear from me and kept conversation flowing. Last week, I asked if she wanted to catch up over a drink and she initially said yes. However, after several attempts to schedule, she finally told me she thinks its too soon for us to see one another. I told her ok and that I'd respect her space. I'm not going to pursue this any further, because I'm not willing to be her texting buddy but not have a genuine relationship either. Its all or nothing. It sucked though because our contact gave me hope for reconciliation. I personally think she just missed hearing from me and that's why she engaged and initiate texting. Do you think she used the "too soon" answer as a way to let me down easy and she really doesn't want to see me or is she truly struggling with this breakup like me and thinks seeing me will set her back? I know the answer really doesn't matter, but I'm just curious for another persons perspective. Even though its been two months, its still been so hard to move on since everything reminds me of her. Movies, songs, restaurants we ate at, inside jokes etc. all bring back the hurt and pain. I'm hoping indefinite no contact will help heal faster
  4. I can't guarantee what's missing now will be there later, simply because it sounds like neither of us know for sure what's missing. I do think I pushed her away at times through clinginess and may have been a little too available. I also think we got into too much of a routine and got bored by doing the same things. Thats why I really wish she'd consider giving this a little more time. I feel some positive changes could spark this back up, and if not at least we'd both know for sure we tried everything we could. I by no means want to force her into a relationship with me, but think I can get her back to feeling the way she did for me before.
  5. My Gf and I broke up three weeks ago. We’d dated for 8 months. We had an honest conversation with each other and she stated she felt like something was missing. She felt like she should be further along and feels like she’s holding something back, however she doesn’t know what it is. We had a lot of things planned this summer and she also felt that she had to end things now before we made those commitments. She told me I made her so happy and she always had a great time with me. She said she hates herself for having to make this decision but she wants me to find someone who is all in, and not settle for someone who is on the fence She started a new job in April and has been busier than ever. We went from seeing each other 3-4 times a week to once or twice on the weekends. This is when everything started to change. Although we still had a great time whenever we saw each other, I could tell she was more stressed out and was becoming more distant. We’d talked about this at the time but she said she was just busy and working to catch up with everything new going on. Despite this, the breakup was absolutely crushing for me and I’m still having trouble understanding it. In March, we were still deeply in love and had plans of getting a place together when my lease expired in July. We have common goals and dreams, similar interests, and seem to be very compatible. We both love each other’s families and like I said, just seem meant to be together. I asked if she’d like to have some space or even slow things down as it seemed her stressors were causing her feelings to change. I told her I’m not worried about long-term commitments or deadlines, as long as we both enjoyed each other’s company that this could lead to her feelings coming around. She declined though, stating she doesn’t feel it would help. Part of me is angry that she won’t consider giving this a shot, as she even stated she was perfectly happy just two months ago. I don’t want two bad months to end our relationship. I really felt the things we had planned this summer would get us back on track. I’ve just been so lost without her and wish she’d give us another chance. For now I’ve stopped any urge to contact her and know that some space between us is the only way she’ll ever miss me. My question is though, at what point do I reinitiate things? Her Birthday is in July, and I thought maybe by then I can reach out to her and wish her a Happy Birthday and see if she’d like to get together. I just want to be with her and reinvigorate the feelings she had for me not so long ago.
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