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Everything posted by Chloej123

  1. Sorry to hear about your friend. I honestly feel if I hadn’t gone through this the second time just now, I would have wound up just like her. My mental health is already so fragile from him. Even physically, not sleeping or eating. I will never allow another human being to treat me this way again. Hes already destroyed me as much as he can. I can’t believe I even reconsidered giving him a second chance after the way he manipulated me and treated me the first time. Well hindsight is a wonderful thing. I know he will try and reach out to me somehow, but I have made sure I’ve blocked him on everything I had him on. I won’t let him win this time.
  2. Katrina, you are right. He started sending BS messages asking to see me to sort things etc, saying he’s glad I’m back in his life. Next thing I know, he decides to go on holiday and I am faced with these videos and women on social media and it’s honestly just unbelievable. I have blocked him on everything. I haven’t said one word. Just blocked entirely. I never ever want him to come near me ever again. He has damaged me so much already.
  3. I stupidly replied to a few of his messages a couple of days ago. Since then I have had a massive wake up call. I will never put myself through this again. He went away on holiday with his guys yesterday, and I’ve saw videos on Instagram of him with a string of women all over them in clubs etc. I am finding it hard to process, and of course should have walked away the first time. I’m now trying desperately to heal
  4. I started up communication with him again, and very nearly saw him again. Sociopath and narcissist are very much him down to a T. I’m almost ashamed I ever gave myself to somebody like him. I’m very fragile now but I am praying time does heal me. Maybe far on into the future I can learn to trust again, but I think it will be a difficult journey for me.
  5. Absolutely not, I have walked away for good. I had to take some time out to confirm this but his actions have only re confirmed this for me. He took advantage of me at my most vulnerable, fed me absolute BS. I then find on Instagram today videos posted of him flirting with multiple women while on holiday, even liking and commenting on their pictures posted. I feel so sick and heartbroken. Everybody was right. But I think this was the final shock to my system I needed to get the hell out and never, ever let him enter my life ever again.
  6. He has done exactly that. Everything he said was a load of BS. He has broken my heart for the last time. I never ever want to go through this ever again. I am just no awaiting the day I wake up and don’t feel sick with anxiety, upset and heartbreak over him. I am torn up that he can do, say and behave this way. He has mentally and emotionally exhausted me.
  7. Hi Katrina. Thank you again for your response. I have left a detailed thread update. I am absolutely never going back there, he has destroyed me for good this time. I almost agreed to see him, he then tells me he is going on holiday with his guy friends again. I then see through Instagram just today videos posted by his friends of girls all over him in the club. I’m a model, he is a footballer, what did I ever expect? I am so heartbroken as I cared for him so much. He has proven every bad reputation they have right. Honestly, it has put me off meeting anyone ever again. I invested so much time and love into him to have it all completely shattered. Anything he said about wanting to try again is just BS. There are sleazy girls throwing themselves at him, and he is obviously lapping this up but wanting to keep me around. I owe myself so much more. Right now I feel weak, but I am praying the days will get easier and I will get stronger.
  8. Hi everyone. Thanks for the continued responses, I have read each and every single one and given everything much thought. As an update, I nearly agreed to see him again. He then tells me he is going on a guy’s holiday, again, I then see through Instagram multiple videos and pictures with girls in clubs etc and him being all over them. I feel so sick. I am absolutely heart broken. I thought I would also share some back ground on myself and him too. I work as a model through an agency, and he is a premier league footballer. I have not disclosed my real name or names of course. I have sadly recieved a lot of ‘I told you so’ comments from friends and family, which is making me feel worse tbh. He has effected me so severely I have even been signed off work sick, and I am losing out on shoots and jobs because of this fool. I am in a terrible place right now. But this forum has helped me so much, in ways I never thought it could. I am so grateful for all the honest, raw and insightful replies. I am now trying to rebuild my self and life. I am finding it extremely hard.
  9. Thank you for the messages. I needed a few days to get my head straight. He done exactly what I thought, had me and is now playing games again. I have walked away for good now. I am distraught And can’t even believe I considered giving him a second chance. He decided to go on yet another guy’s vacation just yesterday, and thanks to Instagram found out a lot more than I wanted to. Mainly videos being posted by his friends of girls all over him in clubs. I feel sick to my stomach. It has honestly made me never trust another guy again. I am heartbroken but trying to repair myself. Every one of you was right, I guess I was vulnerable and thought hey everybody deserves second chances. My depression is at an all time low and I am trying to seek help for this again.
  10. Yes it was over the weekend. I made no contact, until he did today, asking to see me again. I should block him once and for all. He caught me at my weakest as the break up was still so fresh, and I guess I let my guard down foolishly.
  11. He texted me today. 2 days after we slept together. Asking to see me again and to talk.
  12. Completely agree amii1, this is my issue too.
  13. Yes, hit the nail on the head. Hence why this is making it so so more difficult for me to process. As now he’s almost acting like nothing happened, as if we can switch back to how we were. I am not ready to put myself through this again. It’s a very confusing time, but I must stick to my guns. Thanks again for your very very helpful response.
  14. He’s been contacting me all day today. He said he really wanted to see me today, I declined, said maybe tomorrow. Now it looks like I’m meeting him in a public place. I just want closure and to confirm this is it for me. I won’t be going back, no matter what he wants
  15. As an update, he has been trying to see me today. I declined and said maybe tomorrow. He seems to be trying to work things out. But I am not prepared to put myself through this again. Thank you so much for all the responses. It has opened my eyes, and showed me if I’m strong I can be alone. And that it is okay!
  16. Thank you. I am slowly realising being alone, temporarily or long term, is better than being miserable and together if it isn’t right.
  17. Thank you, I really do agree. I’ve realised you can’t put a price on your own mental health too. It’s so important to find happiness within yourself. I pray you get through what you are going through too.
  18. Thank you for your response. I’m not beating myself up about it anymore. He wants to try again, but I am taking space and time to myself!
  19. I feel like I do and don’t. I only say do I think because I hate being alone, and I keep thinking of the better days at the beginning where he was good and we got on so well. Now I’m alone and heartbroken and regret sleeping with him. I feel like an idiot.
  20. Thanks for your honest reply. I do know this deep down myself, but my mind keeps taking me back to the beginning when he was good to me. And I’m now thinking how did we get here? It hurts my soul and is breaking me down. But if he wanted me, I guess I wouldn’t be here asking for help and these questions :(
  21. I mean used as in, he just wanted sex. Where as, I wanted to sort things out.
  22. I am confused if he is waiting for me to text him. Part of the reason our relationship ended, according to him, was him making more effort. I do disagree with this, other than maybe at the beginning. Should I contact him or just completely move on and not even get closure again? He has been stalking my Instagram daily still.
  23. Following on from my previous post, things have got worse for me. My ex ended things with me about a week ago. Said there was no spark anymore. I went a full 5 days no contact, removed him off social media and was feeling stronger than the first day. He then decides to comment on this, and call me immature for removing him. Upset by these comments, I add him back on there. He then texts me saying ‘I kinda wanna see you, but still don’t know I feel’ . This to me is hurtful, as I was processing a break up and now I’m just confused. I said ‘kinda isn’t yes or no, and I’m not being involved with such complication’. He says ‘ok’. The next day he asks what I’m doing at 6pm, and I had just got home from drinking a little. He asks should he come to my place to talk etc and I stupidly say ok. We then end up sleeping together, not talking about anything we should have, and now I’ve not heard a thing from him in 2 days. I regret this so, so much. Have I just been used? I don’t know how somebody who apparently cared about me ever could do this to me. I am really struggling with anxiety and depression right now. And I even came off anti depressants when I met him, so this is just gutting for me .
  24. Honey, I am going through the exact same thing. I am about a week in, your appetite will come back once your brain accepts it is done and not coming back. I am finding it so hard to. You have to remain strong. I am struggling to be alone too. But wouldn’t you rather be alone than in the company of somebody who doesn’t want you? That’s what I’m telling myself. Stay strong x
  25. I thought I would post another update, as things have pretty much got worse for me and the advice on here has actually been second to none however. I did end up sleeping with ex partner, which was a terrible, terrible mistake on my part. I am still vulnerable and hurt, and now I haven’t contact him, but have not heard a single thing from him since. It has completely tore me apart and I am really struggling to rebuild my strength. I wish there was a timescale for getting over these things that was short :(
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