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Everything posted by Chloej123

  1. I wish I hadn’t agreed to pay. I have and now this has just blown up an entire storm. I really just want to pay it so he can leave me alone and I pray that this is over I can then block him. Financially as I said, it’s extortionate and he would have to accept the time it would take me. It’s not like he needs this money, as I said, it’s turned nasty and now there is nothing I can do about it and I am fearful
  2. There will be no trip. I don’t want anything to do with him, as he doesn’t with me. This has now turned so nasty and now turned into money and bitterness . Which of course, I’m scared of. I never want to go through this again with anyone. I’m scared to even allow myself to get to know anyone again.
  3. Cope said it below. I am scared of him, what he , or mainly other or his associates will do. He has severe anger issues, and this is is honestly something which I cannot predict what he will do. He knows my address of course, my family’s, my place of work. He has belongings of mine still (not that I care or want these back) . So it is just highly concerning me the abuse I will get through other means or people. I can’t put into words over the internet what he is like. But a highly unpredictable, angry individual with friends who have done bad things. Which I know about. They would have no respect for me or think twice about me for doing something on his order.
  4. This is exactly it. He’s pissed, and he has some not very nice associates. Who yes, I am scared of. I am scared to block him because I honestly don’t know what he will do. He is EXTREMELY unpredictable and has the worst anger issues I’ve ever witnessed among anybody.
  5. Because things ended badly and I agreed to it, I am now concerned for what he is able to do and what he will say. The trip was extortionate, he knows that. I also don’t get why he would keep me in his social media after I removed him. I am completely done but the fear of how he will act next has prevented me from fully blocking him. I actually want him to move on, so I can too. He has just turned this whole thing incredibly nasty, from the demeaning of the payment to somewhat threatening messages if I don’t. I am so worried as I’ve never actually been in this scenario before. He has a really nasty side and knows some nasty people, which I guess is why I feel so worried too.
  6. I completely agree with all the responses. It’s actually now out of fear I have not blocked him. In the heat of the argument I agreed to pay my half , which I shouldn’t have. Now from a legal perspective this is concerning me. I feel like I shouldn’t, but as it was such an expensive trip, he knows it’s not something I would be able to pay on my own given the difference in our salaries and careers. I feel like it’s more about tearing me down. I also fear him bad mouthing me to people, as I can just predict all of the ‘gold digger’ comments and worse, being said to our mutual friends. It’s giving me such bad anxiety, I feel so overwhelmed with what to do. I really don’t want anything to do with him, I have removed him off social media. Just not WhatsApp. I know he has a very nasty temper, and I’ve been scared many times before and it nearly got physical. I am much much smaller than he is, and he has intimidated me so much in the past that it is truely out of fear, or the things he will say, that has led me to not block him on WhatsApp too. I feel like I may need legal advice on this myself at this point. As I feel he will be relentless to try and get at me.
  7. Update - I’ve gone full no contact. He said feelings have changed and I said the same. I now don’t care for him like I did. He tried to text me yesterday asking why I was working away as he saw from Instagram, I didn’t reply. He then sent another harassive message asking me to pay my share of the trip. This isn’t about financials with him, it’s because it’s now turned nasty. I am to scared not to pay, even though it is such a large sum of money. This whole relationship has exhausted me mentally and physically and I’m actually worried I’ll never recover from it properly.
  8. Another update. I’m feeling really low right now. Gone a few days minimal to non contact. I then plucked up the courage to text that I really am done, and will not be a part of this unhealthy cycle anymore. The response I was met with was negative, and he is now demanding I pay for the trip away, out of spite mainly. This is now obviously causing me undue anxiety and upset as things have gotten nasty. When now all I want is out. I’m really struggling to cope, I was doing better but feel like I’ve just taken 10 steps back now . I’m still waiting for the day I wake up and just feel ok and like I can actually get on with my days.
  9. Thank you for all your replies once again. They are so detailed and mean so much to people like myself going through difficult and emotional times. I do know I need to walk away. I have that annoying small part of my head that keeps reflecting on two months back, when he was asking me to move in with him and telling me how much he cares about me. I’m just now here like ‘how did we get here!?’ And I can’t even pin point where it went wrong , which I guess makes it more sad for me.
  10. Thank you. This makes a lot of sense. My gut is of course telling me to just walk, I know it’s the right thing to do. In hindsight, going on the trip was an error on my part. But I can’t take it back now. If anything, it just messed with my head even more. I am starting to have the horrible thoughts and feelings again that my friends warned me about, that he wanted me there as a trophy and a girl who was there for him. It does hurt as in the beginning it was just so different and he couldn’t do enough for me and told me everyday how much he cared about me. 6 months down the line and it’s now done a full 360. I guess my head struggled to process it and I willingly went back there hoping for a different outcome. I also think the confusion still remained as just 2 months ago; we discussed moving in together etc and now this. But things change and people change.
  11. Just an update as I’m still feeling a little down and confused. We have been back 2 days with minimal contact. His last response was ‘okay’ which I did not respond to. I feel confused because we had such a great time but now we’re back home we’ve gone to limited contact. I don’t know how to approach or word what I need to.. which is to ask what is going on or what we are doing. I guess I am partially scared of the answer. It sort of feels like an ongoing tiring game of waiting for the other to text. It’s so childish but I’m scared to put myself on the line again for fear or getting hurt. My head is an absolute shambles because it’s made me realise I care about him still, and now he’s seemingly pulled away again I have done the same. I guess I need advice on how or what to say from such a blunt last response. I’ve never felt so confused as to another persons actions! Just why take the girl you spent 6 months with away to then come back and behave the way you did during the rough patch. I really know I can’t go on like this but I haven’t a clue what to do for the best. I know I want him but I don’t know where on earth I should be going from here. Do I leave him to contact me still, is he waiting for that ?
  12. I think the reason I am so anxious to confront this is because I am confused and scared of being hurt regardless of the outcome. I am struggling to get to grips why he would whisk me away, act like a couple then come back and we’re back to square one or barely communicating. For me it just doesn’t make sense and I know the only way I’ll get answers is through asking. It’s just I don’t know where to start and feel there is now a massive barrier up on my part because of what happened before. I don’t even know how to word it to ask, which I know sounds silly.
  13. This is something which didn’t cross my mind in terms of being ‘used’ as just a holiday girl. We spent 6 months together and I was on the verge of moving with him. Hence why the thought didn’t cross my mind that he would use me for that , or at least I hoped not ?
  14. I do agree. I was hopeful we would progress, and we got on well during the trip. It made me probably like him more. But now we have returned we still haven’t discussed anything I suppose we should have. I want it to move forward, as I do care about him.
  15. I guess a part of me is afraid, because of everything I went through before. I feel like I have opened myself up again and let him in. And although I won’t to take things slow in order to protect my feelings, I want to know where this stands now. We are 6 months in now and it has been rocky, but ultimately I do still want him
  16. The reason we did not discuss it because I myself struggle with confrontation, and still feeling fragile, I thought we may even discuss it when we were over there. However we just acted and resumed couple behaviour as normal. Now I’m back and we still haven’t discussed what we are, of course I’m still confused
  17. I knew him before he went professional. So it was never his career or persona that I was so impressed by. I wanted him for him. And how I feel when I’m around him . If he didn’t have his career tomorrow, I’d still be here.
  18. There are definitely trust issues still here, that is a given. However I do miss him when I am not around him. I miss when the relationship was good the most, of course. The break up effected me badly and I guess my head wasn’t in the best place shortly after. In terms of what I want, I would say a relationship again that was how it was before. The confusion I am feeling is that why is he taking me away etc and acting like we are a couple, but now not labelling at again instead saying ‘we practically are together, but not fully’. In his own words to the friends
  19. I guess because I still have some feelings for him. He was pretty persistent about wanting to go, and his time off is limited. He has been away with his friends twice and just me. I wasn’t sure how things would go, I just know I wanted to see him. I guess it was also a kind of make or break thing, but it seems to have done well neither? Now I am asking myself Do I just wait for him to come to me to sort this? Or do I initiate it. I am just so confused.
  20. I am back on here as like many others, the advice i received last time was extremely helpful and I have some updates. My last post was listed under the ‘made a mistake’ post. For anybody who wasn’t familiar with this. I went through an extremely rough patch with my current, well ex, I guess you could say. I went full no contact as advised, and began to feel somewhat happier. I struggle with anxiety so I really took the break up badly. Given everything I went through, it was for the best. However, since then, my ex has been persistent with contact etc. I did not block him on WhatsApp due to me still having belongings at his, and me wanting to get these back at some point. We ended up meeting each other a few times, but not actually talking about everything that has gone on. I know this should have been the first thing we did, but it’s like neither of us wanted to confront it. He then books us a trip to Dubai for a week, which I have just returned from. I agreed to go as I felt we were getting on a bit better again. In all honesty, it was actually very enjoyable, and we got on well. I returned just yesterday, and since then we haven’t spoke so much today, which is a little odd I guess. On the trip, we met with a few other couples who live there. One friend had a new girlfriend who we had not met before, and she asked us how long we had been together. My ex answered as I didn’t, and said we aren’t together right now, but are seeing each other. This has really confused me, as I was hoping things would get back on track etc. If I can start to forgive everything I was out through before, (toxic behaviour etc). I still care for him; and the trip was a really nice gesture and he put a lot of effort into it and did treat me like a princess. I am now super confused. And now since we’ve returned, he has to go back to football this week (he is a high profile player) and his time off is limited to a month a year. We only got back yesterday, however we haven’t spoke much since, and it now feels almost a little weird again. I am struggling to understand why he would take me away on a luxurious trip, act like we are a couple, but not talk about it or confront what we went through and what is happening now ? I know this is partially for me to do, but I struggle with confronting these kinds of things. It made me realise I missed him, but I am so so scared of getting sucked into this again, only to go through the same thing. Should I initiate the conversation about where we are or what we are doing? And what was his intentions of taking me away etc from a guys perspective maybe? Thanks again for all the help on here. All opinions are valued and given much thought.
  21. Katrina, I love your energy lol. His ego is painfully big. I feel so much better today :) And funnily enough, he reached out to my friend on Instagram asking her to ask me to unblock him and that he is super sorry. It’s almost amusing now! He screwed up and I am never going back.
  22. Yes ninjabib, you’re right. I however, as you already said, was not with him for the financial aspect. I actually knew him before he went professional 2 years ago. I am a model by trade so I have always worked and thankfully never ever relied on him financially. I am just trying my best to get through the days now. It is getting a bit easier day by day. Again thanks for your response
  23. I have now blocked him. I saw the Instagram videos just before I did this. Which is also what confirmed and gave me the wake up call I needed, to walk the hell away and never go back. Very fragile right now, but I am praying I get through this and my health can get back on track and I can resume my work.
  24. Thank you so much. You have been so honest and I needed the wake up call. I am trying my best so stay strong through this absolute s* show or a failed relationship.
  25. You’ve really just summarised it perfectly and accurately Katrina. His selfish, manipulative and huge ego thought he had me where he wants me again. For him to then go on and cheat essentially while he’s away. He’s a fool as the fact it was posted on social media just re confirms the horrible, sociopathic idiot he is. I have no feelings left for him. Just resentment, anger and disgust. I can’t beat myself up anymore than I already have for nearly giving him a second chance. I am just hoping I can forgive myself soon.
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