immune2u2

I've been with my wife for 5 years now and just when you think things were going somewhat good, BAM! It's gone. Its been about a month and half since my wife left for what she told was her sisters b-day party, okay great have a good time, see you in a couple of days. Wrong! She ended up having a job interview in another city, hell in another state, well she took the job and found a roommate. Next thing I find out that this whole thing was premeditated. She had been planning on going down there for over a month. Little did I know. So me who has sworn "For better or worse, thick and thin yadda yadda yadda" decided I'll support her and that maybe she just needed to do this. She told me it would only be for 30 days. Next thing I know I'm getting calls saying that she has racked up credit card charges (were talking in the thousands). Luckily, we don't share a bank account since I'm in the military and I have the fraud prevention on my accounts so she can't use me. I, Mr. Patient, Understanding, Loving and Caring said come back home we can work all this out, she tells me okay. Well this puts me to tonight, supposedly this job has offered her a bonus to work their longer or something, I'm sure it is a lie as well. She told me that she felt she should work for the money so she can pay some of this debt off, I asked her if she was coming back or not? Well, then she gets all bent out of shape and starts telling me that she tired of talking about it with me and she'll be home soon. I'm flat sick and tired of it, I married young (18) and still have a lot of life left to go and a lot of love to give another woman. The only thing is is that I do still have feeling for her but I don't want to put up with her living somewhere else and coming back here to visit (have sex) then leave again. I know what I need to do but plain and simple, I'm scared to do it. Any suggestions?

My wife and I married as high school sweethearts, were coming up on our 5th anniversary and have had plenty of downfalls. I'm a military man and the last transfer that I took was one she wanted nothing to do with. I did it for the sake of the marriage. I was on a ship and felt that we were growing further apart, almost to the point where I felt like I was just a roommate and was uncomfortable coming home. To make a long story short, we no longer have any sort of sex life, maybe once every month if that. We argue about petty things, mainly because she barely lifts a finger around the house. I blame this on her upbringing since her Mother catered to her every whim she had. I honestly think if she did leave me, she wouldn't know where to stand. I try to get things together and maybe work things out, but she won't talk to me about problems, she's isn't one for critisism, but who is. I don't want what we have to end but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. Anyone with any sane advice?