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Everything posted by Timeout74

  1. Thank you for taking the time to respond in such a time consuming manner. Unfortunately I can't remember what life was like without her in it. We were together from a young age and grew into middle ages with each other. Hobbies, I have tried. I have been through every right and wrong thing I can try just now. Obviously the lock down in the UK is putting major restrictions on anything that can be done. It's been like this for nearly a year now which hasn't helped the situation. All I can really do is walk my dogs which as nice as this is, it's frustrating I can't get out and meet ne
  2. Not legally divorced yet Scottish law state you have to be separated for over a year. Again my daughter is now over 16 so there is no need for a custody arrangement, Scottish law class her as an adult after 16. There is no legal restraints against me, but the threat is real, I have been advised by my lawyer not to approach the house myself due to what I could be blamed of ( I'll let you think about that lol) and also I can't afford any kind of legal offence against me with my future career. She has just turned into such a vindictive individual, I don't think I will ever understand h
  3. Hi folks, This time it really has been a while, 3rd of May last year to be precise. I just thought I would pop back with an update. Well law and behold I'm still pretty much in the same place all round. My ex wife is still in the martial home and hasn't paid the mortgage. Its only now that the bank is forcing to take the house through court. I haven't been allowed to step foot in the house since I left, she played a very clever game by threatening me with the police if I go near (which I can't afford to risk). I had family going to collect my mail but she put a stop to this by redu
  4. I closed the account as I was advised to and turned out I had the right to as it only required one signature. Although again I had to pay costs she had on the account that were pending in order to do so. Made her pretty mad because as crazy as this sounds I never had any access to this account to see what was going on transaction wise. I just paid into this weekly and had been for so many years an amount of money to cover my half of bills. This was a major problem when it came to me trying to see what was happening, involved a meeting with the bank in where I was to produce documents to co
  5. Sorry I should have mentioned that my daughter turns 17 this year, the year I have been looking forward to most her life because I can teach her to drive. Would also like to ask if anyone can advise me on where I stand regarding me leaving some of my belongings in the marital home even if I've moved into another home. This would apply to UK law if anyone has had to deal with this before. I ask as I am moving into a far smaller property and won't have the space needed right not to house all my belongings from home.
  6. Thanks for all the input. Had a heck of a few days through one thing or another any I'm trying to pull through that. Reading through the comments I would like to explain a little. The healing process mentioned,, I had done this, I was finally starting to accept what had happened and where my future was going. I had moved back into the marital home because my wife and daughter left it. I found out after she left we were in serious debt, real unbelievable debt with our mortgage, taxes and loans. I was flabbergasted but felt somewhat responsible as I should have paid far more attention. I we
  7. I'm trying, really trying. Just about every person has told me I'll get through this. I really hope I do because I've yet to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
  8. Hi. I have just put up a somewhat similar post and I'm experiencing similar feeling to you although it's not been seven years but all in perhaps a year for me on and off. I won't go into to much detail as its mostly been shared on here. I also have strong feeling for my ex that I just can't shake no matter what I do or try. I would say I dream of her every single night and that's if I actually sleep because I have some really bad night, nights seem to be worse for me. It can be something silly as a small memory enters my head and that just sets me off, it can be a movie a song. I actually h
  9. Hi all, I'm not sure if anyone will remember me being on here as it was a few months ago now. My title was sexless marriage. Well that is now resulted in the end of my marriage and not through my doing I believe. I can't remember where I was at the last time I posted but I have been to hell and back several times over the past months, I've been heartbroken and had that mended and broken again. I've had my feelings toyed with and been used and played which has resulted in me being in a very dark place. I'm struggling, really struggling as I can't no matter what I do get my wife out my
  10. The one thing that constantly runs through my mind on making a decision is, can I ever trust my wife again because of what she has done and been doing for months now behind my back. I think if trust has gone there is no going back but this is what I’m talking through with my councillor at the moment to try and help me see it in a sensible way and not through anger and upset.
  11. My wife and daughter are still in the family home. As I mentioned above they were all set to move and I went about saving my house from the creditors and was meant to be moving back in. My wife contacted me days before I was going to move back to ask if I could let them stay in the house as she felt it would help her sort herself out. I obviously said yes but as soon as I did the very next day the nicely nicely had gone from my wife and back to speaking to me like I was nothing. I have remained civil and polite through the most part of this. My only fault was the thing with my daughter w
  12. Well a bit of an update/story for you people. I haven’t been near the internet recently as unfortunately I haven’t been taking this ordeal very well at all. I have now been of work for the past seven weeks and I’m seeing a councillor because as silly as it sounds I just can’t absorb everything that’s going on. I am still away from the family home where my wife and daughter are still staying and I’m getting very mixed signals from my wife when I’m trying to get my head straight. As of about a month ago it was decided by my wife that our marriage was definitely over and she was moving in
  13. I do make a point of texting my daughter every few days. It’s the only contact I have with her at the moment.
  14. I have made the attempt a number of times but the way things stand the now my daughter doesn’t want to see me. She said things need to calm down first.
  15. Hmm I don’t know where you got that from. As it stands my child doesn’t want to see me because Between me telling her I don’t want her involved in drugs and my wife allowing her to do what she wants I’m the bad parent. I’m trying to respect my child’s wishes.
  16. Unfortunately my child using drugs was infact true and my wife was also allowing this. A lot has came out the woodwork over the past weeks that has made me wonder who I have been married to for such a long time without seeing this side of my wife. I honestly don’t think I will be able to trust someone again.
  17. I just thought I would give people an update. It’s been while now and unfortunately I haven’t been dealing with all this very well mentally and physically. We are now officially separated and it broke my heart. I tried my hardest to keep the family together but my wife has no interest and has walked away and unfortunately my wife and her family have poisoned my daughters mind with absolute rubbish so I haven’t seen my daughter now for about five weeks and that’s also killing me inside. I will admit I’m still finding it hard to take it all in and even more so that I have also found out my
  18. I’m trying buddy but there is absolutely nothing I can do here. I am trying my hardest to sort this without causing more upset and arguments.
  19. My soul concern right now is my daughter. I’m worried sick with what is going on in the house and what my wife seems to deem acceptable. Today I found out after my wife assuring me that my daughter wasn’t smoking weed is that my daughter is 100% smoking weed and also keeps it in her bedroom with my wife being in full knowledge of this and has no issue with it. I am at a total loss here because I can’t risk loosing a good friend through all this and it’s the only way I can confront my wife with the facts I know. I am being made out to be the bad person from her because she said I’m bein
  20. I honestly don’t think she is. In a way I wish she was because then I would no the reason behind all this. I think she is having some kind of mental issues but she says she’s not and refuses help. Either way I’m done. I know people on here seem to think I’m the one in the wrong but without knowing me personally and knowing what’s been happening in my life it’s a bit unfair to judge me in such a way. Anyway I’m done with it all. I’m so tired and I’m totally worn out to the point I’m actually making myself ill with it all. I’ve had the worst year of my whole life this year due to this
  21. Well another update I didn’t move back home and I did TRY and talk it out with my wife. My information was solid not on solid it was true once I spoke to my wife about it. It would take me an age and a day to type all that has been going on in the house behind my back. It seems my wife chose to hide all this from me and being able to do so because I work nights. I have also been to a councillor and spoke about this situation and I will say again because it keeps getting dragged up and I’m being made the bad egg here. I AM GOING TO A COUNCILLOR MY WIFE REFUSES TO. The situation wi
  22. I totally agree with you, every step of the way. It’s just a shame she can’t see this. She seems to think in this day and age all the kids do it so it’s acceptable but I totally disagree. Yes maybe all the kids do it but I bet all the parents are aware or allow it.
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