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About ilostmynewun

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  1. I don't agree with you 100%, I think her input is valuable. What she's asking is if these people really see him as a friend, or rather as a comedian. The minute he stops being funny, will they still hang around? Or are they only hanging around him because he is a clown, a comedian, and that's all he is? So if he ever tries to have a serious conversation, they back off? Doesn't seem that off-limits to me, I think it makes a lot of sense. There is a question to be made on whether or not this is good therapy. It seems very argumentative and not very clinically helpful, but it still makes s
  2. Just jumping in to thank everyone who has participated in the discussion so far, you have been a tremendous help :)
  3. Thank you, you have been helping a lot :) I think I should make something clear. This guy isn't always funny. I actually think quite the opposite, and he does as well. He thinks 60% of his jokes fall flat, and it's true. The thing is, everyone knows him as the "clown guy". It's not the jokes themselves that are funny, it's his whole persona. Since he's very upbeat, say-what's-on-your-mind, clearly thinking of himself as a comedian, speaking a rushed, high-pitched voice when telling a joke, etc., he's seen as a comedian. Sometimes his jokes land, yea, but other times people just shrug or mak
  4. Nothing about him is interesting. He has no hobbies or interests. He's just constantly firing out jokes. Also he studies a lot of useless things (to me) like make-up techniques, only so that it will give him more jokes to make around girls And why do you say I'm berating the girls? I feel self-hatred for not being able to connect with people as well as he does. Most of my hatred is directed INWARDS, to myself. The only problem I have with the girls is that they pay so much more attention and affection to him while they are often rude and inconsiderate to me. This doesn't mean I berate th
  5. Because every time I interact with people they don't react to me as well as they react to him When this all started I was hanging around these two girls often. But still when he was around they would leave me ALONE, literally alone, to go talk to him. Despite the fact that he made no effort at all to invite them out for stuff and would only go to classes and make jokes. THEY were the one catching up, not him. I was the one inviting them out and hanging out with them constantly. And still being left behind. Constantly. And being told stuff like "Hey can you ask X what he is waiting for to
  6. Yea but those challenges keep failing when compared to reality. This is the thing I never understood about CBT and therapy in general. Some (most!) of it seems like you are simply denying reality and pretending it doesn't happen. Well, it is happening. Like I said, every single prediction and challenge made to my perspective eventually turned out to be wrong, and my perspective turned out to be right. In reality. Which is all that matters. And CBT isn't helping me deal with that at all. Regardless, I take your advice on a medical checkup seriously and will consider that. Thank you.
  7. Hey! I'm 23 and I was always a quiet kid. Ever since kindergarten (according to my mother) I used to sit alone and only get along with 1-2 people, wouldn't really participate in group games, etc. My grandparents taught me to read and write before 1st grade so I was focused on books while most other kids were focused on playing and having fun. My parents also have always had a very cynical view on most people installed from very early on (as in "don't trust people, people don't care about you, people are not your friends", etc.). My parents forced me to study and would lock me in my room for
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