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Liv9943

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  1. Sorry I've changed the title I mean ask her to be official! As in bf and gf...
  2. So I met this girl in mid May and it's approaching 4 months we've been dating now, it started off quite slow with one thing and another (she had a holiday in June, went to a festival for a week, then ended up in hospital through much of July), but it finally feels in the past month or so that we've really started to make some progress. We've actually probably seen each other close to 15 times now and dates have ranged from meals to nights out, I took her to the races for the day, and also a couple of weeks back we went to a gig for the night. I've also been round to hers on a few occasions and met the family meanwhile she's slept at mine and met my parents too. In terms of 'closeness' we've made out on pretty much every date and while we haven't 'done the deed' yet we've done more than kissing when she's slept at mine put it that way. She's going on holiday for 2 weeks on 13th Sep and I'm hoping to see her a couple of times before then (tomorrow we're off for a meal then hopefully one night next week before she leaves) and I'm really not wanting this to drag on until after as it will be then October. She's definitely thinking long term because a few days ago she asked me about going to a scarefest the weekend before halloween, and also I have my driving test in november and she's been on about going car shopping with me once I pass, so she obviously still sees us been an item then. Plus certainly in the past couple of weeks the messages have got a lot more personal such as her calling me her sweet and hearts in every one etc.. I'm quite an anxious and shy person as it is which is probably why I've left it off this long, plus she's out of my league it's so obvious and she even told me a couple of her mates have made comments saying that (but said she doesn't see what they're on about). Plus she sent a message last week saying she loves how slow we've taken things so far, which makes it seem like she's glad I haven't asked yet..? Reading all the above do you think it's about time I asked? A few of my mates think she's just waiting to be asked and I should get on with it, but then why would she make comments like she loves how slow we're taking it? Any advice would be good as don't want to blow it either way! EDIT: One thing I have noticed a couple of times is her refer to me as a mate/friend to people but I'm not sure if this is just her being cautious until I ask? As an example she sent her auntie of photo of us a couple of weeks back and her autie was like 'aww so does this mean you two are official now then?' to which she replied like 'no just friends hehe' and then just last week we went on a double date with her best friend and a lad shes seeing, but when someone from work messaged her 'who you out with' she replied with 'some mates' rather than something like 'some mates plus the lad I'm dating'. I'm prob reading too much in to this one as if she only saw me as a friend she wouldn't call me her sweet and put all the hearts on every message sleep in my bed etc.. Is she just waiting for me to ask?
  3. I met a girl at the beginning of May so over 2 months now and since the meet up we have had 7 dates, the most recent of which being last Saturday. Things seemed to be going really well and I'd told my mates that I was planning on asking her out (stupid of me I admit). Anyway on last Saturdays date we were out at an event with 3 of my mates and 1 of their girlfriends (I'd agreed to go to this with them before I even met her). Obviously my mates knew I was planning on asking her at the evening time but annoyingly stuck their noses in and took it upon themselves to gauge her opinion before I asked, as they were worried I'd get knocked back. The girl I'm dating and my mates gf got friendly as girls do, and on one of their toilet trips my mates gf asked this lass what she would think if I asked her to be official, to which she responded along the lines of 'I'm not sure yet, I think it's too soon'. Obviously my mates gf told me this and warned me not to ask her in case I got knocked back, so I left it. Other than that things have been going really well and she actually slept back at mine that night as we got in late, plus I went to visit her on Tuesday (not a date though) and I'm taking her out for a meal tomorrow. Also she sent a message the other day saying I should get to know her mum and we should go out for a meal the 3 of us (me, her and her ma) which is always a good sign. Should I be worried by the 'too soon' thing eventhough it's been 2+ months and 7 dates, or could that be quite normal? The other thing that's concerning me is that she often doesn't respond to messages for hours despite obviously using her phone (as she is posting on social media). As an example I sent her a good morning text about 5 hours ago asking what she has planned today and as of yet she hasn't got back despite been on whatsapp etc several times, and this happens on quite a regular basis. She's obviously been responding to other people this morning but not me yet. I'm not one of them lads that expects constant responses, but at the same time if she's obviously responding to others yet ignoring me for hours, it is a concern as to why. Also a third concern is that every meetup we've had so far has been suggested by me, if I didn't mention another meet up ever again I'm not sure if she would or not... Do you guys think I'm over worrying? I mean the fact she keeps agreeing to meet is the main thing surely, but I'd still like some other opinions on this and what I should do? Do I just keep meeting and go with the flow and hold off asking anything in terms of been official for now or? I know people often say you don't even need to have a 'talk' and it just progresses, but at the moment I'd still say I'm single and I'm certain she would too. One part of me thinks she wants to keep meeting me and that's the main thing, but then other parts worry why she's still telling people she's unsure after 2 months, and why she often doesn't respond to my messages.
  4. I have been dating this girl since early May so just over 2 months and everything is going great, we message on a daily basis and have been on 5 dates (not including the night we met which was in a bar). The first 4 meet ups were just after work for meals and a couple of drinks but last saturday I took her on a full night out drinking round my closest city and then to a club; we both absolutely loved the night and had a great time. Some photos were taken and she messaged me yesterday saying she'd showed them to her family and asked if I had too (good sign). This weekend I'm taking her to a horse racing event which is a massive deal and we've both been out this week buying new expensive outfits to dress for the occasion. I feel like it would be the perfect time to ask her to be official as we haven't actually had a talk like that yet. The problem is I am a natural shy person and have never done this before (only had 1 previous girlfriend and she was the one that asked me!), so part of me keeps thinking what if she isnt ready and what if I spoil this big day by putting her on the spot etc. Plus like I say eventhough we've been talking over 2 months, last Saturday was our first BIG meetup (rather than just a meal after work) which is also making me have thoughts like should I ask to be official in only the 2nd BIG meetup? I've always been an anxious person and worry about every little thing, all my mates are telling me the races is the perfect time but like I say I keep doubting myself thinking what if I spoil her day. In terms of how close we've been during the dates, since the 2nd one we have been making out at the end of each night, and on Saturday we did several times for a minute+, but haven't gone any further. I think already that this girl is amazing and hope she feels the same about me from the messages she sends and the fact shes making such an effort for Saturday, but as I say I keep doubting myself. Like I say I think the fact it is only the 2nd 'big' meetup is the main thing. What do you think from reading through the above?
  5. Ok so since this initial post we met up last Wednesday for a meal, and also have another date this Saturday as well as a horse racing event planned the weekend after. I am still having the issue though where-by she is not reply to my messages for hours despite her obviously been on her phone (I can see this by her presence on social media platforms). As an example it is 10pm here (UK time) and I have only received 2 messages today. I sent her one about 5 hours ago trying to iron out some of the details for this weekend and she hasn't responded despite posting on facebook and snapchat. I really don't know what to think, if she wasn't interested surely she wouldn't keep meeting up with me? But why the hours of no responding when the messages used to be back and forth? It's been like this maybe a couple of weeks now where I have only been receiving like 2-3 messages a day.
  6. I met a girl in a bar early may, got talking and she gave me her number. For the first few weeks it was going really well, eager back and forth messages and she seemed really keen. We met up twice in May and bounced off each others company really well, and then met a third time a couple of weeks back (Sunday 9th june) for a meal and few drinks and again it seemed to go great. Took it quite steady but did end up making out at the end of the night which would make you think she was interested. But then since this meet up, certainly in the past week or so, things appear to have gone really off with messages and she also seems to be ducking any chances to meet up. In terms of the messages, for the first few weeks as I mentioned it was back and forth and we'd often get in to long chats on a night. But for the past week or so I've been getting maybe 2/3 a day from her, and shes been giving excuses like 'sorry thought I'd replied to this'. Plus shes often quite blunt now I.e if I ask how works gone she'll just reply 'good thank you x' rather than before when she'd tell me a story from her day and also ask about mine. Since we first got talking it's been stop and start as she went on holiday for the first week of June, and then for the week after our last meet up which was 8th june, she went to a festival and only came back last monday. But since shes been back you'd think she'd be eager to see me having not met up for a couple of weeks, but she doesnt seem bothered. At the start of this week I invited her round to mine on wednesday night as my parents were out so I was home alone, to which she said no because she 'had work next day', and then this weekend to which she said she cant as shes decorating. She stated to leave it with her and she'll get back to me with another time but its been 5 days now and she hasn't, which makes me think she obvs doesnt want to meet up. Unless we meet up by next wednesday then that means we'll have only seen either other once in the past month, which was that sunday for about 3 hours. It's hardly the basis to build a relationship is it? I really dont know what to do because the last meet up a couple of Sundays back was amazing and I dont know what's happened since to make her suddenly go so off?
  7. So an update on the situation. I never heard back from girl #1, part of me thought about messaging her in the middle of the week asking what's up but I thought against it as if I'm having to chase at this stage then it's not really working. Instead I asked girl #2 on a date and we're meeting up tomorrow for a meal and drinks! It's early days but already she seems invested in it, like she was out with a few friends on Friday but she had a quiet night and sent me a text saying 'saving myself for Sunday ;)'. Will have to see how it goes!
  8. I think this is the worst part for me, especially to not respond for 3 days AFTER A DATE! Eventhough I sent her a message as soon as I got home thanking her for the evening. That's a sure sign in my opinion that she isn't that in to it, so what's the point in me still trying to push it.
  9. Just want to make clear first I’m not a lad that usually messages multiple girls and I’m really not sure how I’ve suddenly gone to 2 when I’ve spent most of my life not messaging any! So I met a girl on a dating site at the start of April and since then we have been on a variety of different dates including drinks out, meals, and one was bowling. She always seems eager to meet up when I ask but on the actual dates themselves we seem to just be too friendly and I end up talking to her like I would my mates. We’ve kissed obviously and on the last date which was Saturday night we ‘made out’ briefly at the end, but nothing more. The issue is I’m quite shy, and she also seems shy too so neither of us are making a bold move. The slow dates don’t particularly bother me as I understand some things take longer than others especially with shyer people, but the thing that alarms me most is her lack of responses in text. She often goes a full day without messaging, but the current run is the worst as she hasn’t even got back to me since the last date yet! I sent her a message at 2am on Saturday night saying I really enjoyed the date and hope she did too, to which she read it (whatsapp) but didn’t respond. Then on Sunday night I sent her another asking how her day went, which she currently hasn’t replied to either! Plus in the dates she seems even shyer than me, like I was often putting my arm round her but she was just sat there and not doing the same. And we also ended up in a club, I was trying to dance with her but she wasn't really having it and was saying "I'm too sober to dance". Not sure if thats her been shy or not interested.. Usually I wouldn’t be rushing and would just ‘see how it goes’ but a week last Friday (10th Apr) I met a girl on a night out (something which never happens to me ) who I got on really well with and she has been texting me eagerly since, and seems genuinely interested. Part of me wants to go on a date with her and see how it goes but in my opinion if you’ve been on 5 dates with a girl and are still considering dating others too, then that shows that the dating with the original girl can’t be going that well. I’m not sure I could be a lad that dates both at once, so my dilemma at the moment is whether to keep going with the one I’ve been on 5 dates with (eventhough it’s going very slow and she’s not replied to me for 2 days since the last date). Or to give up with that one and ask the 2nd girl if she wants to meet up? She’s still replying to me but her messages are becoming more and more brief which makes me think shes losing interest, therefore I’d have to act fast. I’m thinking of asking 1 of them out this weekend, but not sure which route to take. The best plan I had was to make my feelings clear to the first girl and ask if she’d want to make things official, and then only move on the 2nd if she says no. But if she can’t even text me for 2 full days after a date then I think I may know what the answer is already. The worry I have is that the 2nd girl is going to stop messaging if I don’t ask her on a date soon, and then if it does all fall through with the 1st one then I could end up in a position where I’ve lost both.
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