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About intrinsic76

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  1. I was tempted to put this under personal growth because that's really what this is for me but, more specifically, it revolves around a break-up. This is mostly me just getting my thoughts out and Im open to feedback. We were together for over three years. I recently concluded that because of some pretty major fundamental differences, we just aren't a good match. They are differences that have shown up in different areas of our relationship and have been an ongoing struggle for me for some time now. You could say "recklessness" is a common theme. I wanted to see this challenge as a growth
  2. Thanks for asking. The trip was pretty strained. I was glad to get home. We had a good, honest talk about it all and he responded the best I could have asked for. He is still dealing with many issues. Mostly health issues. But he does not seem to be depressed and is seeing a therapist which is helpful to him.
  3. I would also like to add that we talk very openly about sex. I have told him what I like and spend as much time inquiring as to what he likes, we watch "how to" videos together to get ideas. I never show how dissatisfied I am and am sensitive to his feelings. But even with the very direct feedback, he just doesn't interact with me the way I crave. I feel it is what it is and that if Im going to enjoy myself, I just have to make it enjoyable myself.
  4. I have been with my partner for two and a half years. For quite some time, maybe the last 6 months, I have had a very hard time feeling aroused by him. Actually, the only sexual arousal I have ever felt for him was at the beginning of our relationship. The sexual attraction for me was not his looks, but instead it was his status, demeanor and confidence. But even then, it was not a strong sexual attraction. I have always had to get myself in the mood. By dressing up to feel sexy, fantasizing, just making myself initiate and hoping I'd get in the mood, etc. Sex is only enjoyable for us if I am
  5. Thank you. He loves massage as it eases his pain temporarily. I am bypassing the meditation though. :) We have plans to do some walking on the shore today and i will do as you suggested, let him guide how he wants to spend his time. Thank you.
  6. Thank you for reminding me to not stay with him out of pity. It does make it harder to leave. We’ve been together for a little over two years and have been through a lot. The issue with the other woman has been resolved, but yes, it happened. We have moved on from that. I do respect him very much. He is admirable on many levels. I also do love and care for him deeply. There is no question about that. I do feel It is likely we will not stay together. But we are here now, on vacation, and I want desperately for us to enjoy ourselves. We have a great time when he’s happy.
  7. My partner has a lot of medical issues, is in pain much of the time and has been feeling depressed. He is doing all he can to address these issues but can’t seem to shake his worry and negativity. He is clingy and very insecure. It has been this way for a long time but has gotten pretty bad. I would not say I am pulling away, although that’s probably what it feels like to him. I’ve been trying to stay close, be supportive and affectionate. But I am finding it harder and harder. I have to force myself to be intimate with him or even hold meaningful eye contact. Because I see he is looking for v
  8. I get a lot of pleasure from looking nice for my partner. Im pretty modest in what I wear from day to day, but it makes me feel good to like what I see and I love it when he does too. Im starting to wonder if this is healthy. Here's why. Occasionally, I go all out. This would be me wearing something different, putting on more make-up than usual(which is not much by most peoples standards), and doing my hair. As I do this, Im having fun and I start to feel really sexy. I anticipate seeing him. The problem is this expectation that he will respond. He often does not, unless I am wearing next t
  9. Welp, that didn't work. Might have even made it worse. This really sucks. I want answers but I would be a total p.o.s. to bring this up now while he's in recovery. It's hard for me to know what to feel when I look at him. Im not good at shutting these things off. I need to clear my head. I wish this hospital had a bar.
  10. What a long night. Im feeling very emotionally pulled in many directions. This is such an intimate thing we are going through right now at the hospital. And not being able to express what Im feeling is very hard. I'm going to take some time today to write everything down that I was to say to him. I'll take advantage of this time I have and work through the words with care. Maybe I can find some relief that way.
  11. Thanks ThatwasThen. I did ask why he wanted to be her friend. He said he turned a corner and has forgiven her. That he is not interested in her romantically and just wants to be her friend. He also stressed that he doesn't want to loose me and can let her go if it makes me uncomfortable. I want to trust he will do that but am not sure how I can do that.
  12. Hi guys, Im new here. I need to share something and hopefully get some feedback. Im currently out of state with my boyfriend who is recovering from major surgery. Im staying with him at the hospital until Monday then will be heading back home while he continues to recover. My boyfriend is a very social man. He owns a few business and is very involved in our community. I am a mom and outside of work, I am primarily at home with my kids. I put a lot of trust in him and never ask him who he's with, what he's doing, etc. We often don't even talk at night. I appreciate the space we give e
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