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K1994

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  1. Also I love him and have never said that. Should I?
  2. That’s actually great advice. He currently is ignoring me but when he reaches out again I’m just going to text him that. I could say it in person bc he might take it more seriously?
  3. So is your advice to just ignore him? And he does refer to me as “his girl” and we are very exclusive, like I haven’t ever hooked up with him when we’re not.
  4. That makes since. Should there be a time when I take him back? Or I guess what should I do when he hits me up again? Or should I even be honest with him? I was thinking of talking with him in person and just saying that I obviously have feelings for him ... but him being exclusive isn’t enough for me and I’m not sure I want to be exclusive with him right now anyways. Im going to date around and until he can prove to me that he can treat me right I’m not exclusive. I am down to hang out but we are not going to be intimate sexually. And maybe I should make sure that we hang out in a setting where I’m not tempted. Right now when I have sex with him I’m just enabling him
  5. Thank you everyone for the replies! It’s almost like he’s an alcoholic and though he doesn’t mean to mistreat me, he currently is. I love him and am cool with us hanging out but I’m not going to commit to him unless he can prove to me he will try and change. And no sex until we commit and it’s up to me if I think he’s ready
  6. Thank you for the reply. Yeah I think he needs serious help. Also I think when his mom was going through her ordeal and his parents got divorced it was the same time he was with his old girlfriend. So his family betrayed him and his highschool girlfriend. If he is open with me about admitting he needs help or at least will acknowledge he is willing to get help then I could be there for him. But I agree I am enabling him. I guess my biggest question is.... does he really have feelings for me?
  7. I guess if it’s a case where what we have is real and he just needs help, I’d encourage him to get help. I feel like it’s real bc if he was just using me this wouldn’t be going on for two years.... I also wonder if it’s a case where he is just so mentally messed up and needs serious help and that’s why he says he feels guilty and wants to stop. I think he keeps coming back bc 1. He’s a guy who enjoys physical 2. He does have feelings for me and caves3. I let him and enable him If it’s a case where he has been using me and doesn’t have feelings then that’s wrong
  8. Thank you for your reply! I guess I’m just going to ignore him and tell him next time he reaches out, that I still have feelings but I need consistency and I don’t think he is willing to get help for that. I guess my question is, do you personally (and I know you don’t know him at all) but just from what you’re hearing... think he truly has feelings for me or do you think he’s been using me this whole time knowingly?
  9. So this is a longgg one so I’m going to try and sum up the important details! Some background... -We are both mid 20s -We met eachother the last week before we moved from our college town - We Have been on and off for two years -We have moved from our different home towns to the same city So haven’t used the official term “boyfriend, Girlfriend” but we are exclusive etc. ... This whole time our realationship has been very unstable. It’s a hybrid of a boyfriend girlfriend relationship combined with hook up buddies. He goes back and forth with how he treats me. At times we are starting to become more like a couple but then we get too close for him I guess and he starts to treat it like we are just hook up buddies. He will tell me he doesn’t want a realationship.... but to me being exclusive and having feelings for eachother is the same thing so I don’t really care about labels just exclusiveness and emotions. He will do this thing where he wants to be “alone” and will straight up ignore me for days. I will confront him and he will go on to say... “maybe we should just stop”. So one time I took his word and he saw me getting real cozy with this guy we both know at a bar. He literally flipped out and when I said “why do you care? You told me you didn’t want to be in a relationship and we should stop, so it’s none of your business”. He goes on to say it is his business.... and then he says he DOES want us to be exclusive. So I’m confused bc at times he says that he just wants to hook up and that’s it but still be exclusive and get all mad if I’m with another guy. He says he has feelings for me and likes me but is just going through a lot and can’t do a realationship. I know he broke up with his old girlfriend of 5 years a year before he met me and apparently it was awful. It bothers me though bc I’ve looked on Facebook and he was very affectionate to her and completely different. This though was his highschool girlfriend that went into college.... we are 25 now... I still am trying to be compassionate and to be honest I don’t care about titles as long as we are exclusive and both have feelings for each other. What I don’t like is when he will ignore me for days out of nowhere and pretend he doesn’t care. His friends have all separatly come up to me and talked about how he has major anxiety and can be really moody and isolate himself from everyone. That’s why I try to be understanding..... One night he drank a lot and came over, right after we hooked up he started crying and basically told me this needs to stop and he feels so guilty for the way he treats me and he can’t have feelings or emotions for anyone. He told me he doesn’t even love his family and that his parents are divorced (I knew that) and his mom is addicted to drugs and his dad is abusive. So I get why he is the way he is but he has started to get even meaner to me and now has gone days ignoring me and will randomly just want to have sex with me...I love him but I can’t tell if I’m being too nice and even though he is going through a lot doesn’t give him an excuse. I guess I don’t know if I should hate him or not. I know I should just not talk to him and when he reaches out just tell him that I can’t continue to be treated like this and I still want to continue but I need consistency so I can trust him. I know I can be crazy and flip out but I am trying to work on that as well
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