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  1. Thank you thatwasthen, I think I just needed help justifying my feeling because I often doubt myself or rationalize against myself to make sure I am fair with the other person
  2. Hi J.man Thank you for your honest response. I don't think we ever made it an official rule to check in with each other, we just did it out of consideration for each other - as is with other couples, and everyone is different. So for me, a red flag went up when it suddenly stopped. And you're correct, if I can't get ahold of him I never assume that he isn't prioritizing me until I fully know so. But when I do try to get ahold of him to try to figure out plans for our roommate's birthday, and it so happens to turn out he has already made plans with just her (given her the gift and ta
  3. He definitely is high energy. I am hoping in time we can generate more money to live on our own. I like you phrase "reliable responsible behavior" .... I think that will be key on his end, and patience and trust on my end
  4. Thank you Audrina for your response. I am hoping for the best too. Just an update for everyone. I did voice my feelings last night, he apologize, was receptive said he didn't think much of it - which I believe him. So I guess we will see how time goes. A second update, I did feel a pang of jealousy when I saw that she had posted a video of him hanging up our surfboard racks shirtless, and in his board shorts ( I don't think he knew that she took the video). I feel like its not a big deal, but I also feel a little weirded out by my boyfriend being shirtless on her social media. Again, ma
  5. Hi Katrina, Thank you for your response. My stomach drops thinking about this. I don't want to assume anything. I can see everyone's point. I also play devils advocate and rationalize with my own feelings. I just don't think its fair to be in a constant situation where I feel uncomfortable.
  6. First of all, I am so extremely sorry. I've been here, I know this feeling. Falling in love with a mentally ill person is probably one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever endured. It's also a mental battle with yourself-between your head and your heart. And just know, it takes a special kind of person and heart to continue loving someone that is capable of being so ill and refuses to change it. I've went through this for 8 years. And in that 8 years, there has been mania, depression, alcohol abuse, cheating, a lot of lonely nights crying, abandonment, screaming mental abuse and
  7. Thank you, your perspective helped me relax a little knowing this is just an adjustment period and we have to communicate these issues. In our relationship, we found we can avoid any worry and conflict by just checking in with each other and to keep each other in the loop, it makes it easier to trust each other. So either of us go out to surf we text/call, if we have plans with friends we let each other know. And typically, we've always called each other after work to figure out dinner plans for the night - if we want to have dinner together or not. But since moving in together, he has sto
  8. thank you for being honest. I don't mind the harshness. I do research, so I am often in the lab and can't pick up my phone or call him until later. My hobbies include seeing friends family, reading biking. When I am doing those things, I make it a habit to just keep him in the loop because I think its rude to pick up the phone when you're out to lunch with friends/family. I text him before I surf, and if I am going to bike somewhere
  9. I still surf with friends, mostly girls. BUT when I do surf with guys, I let him know first and make sure he is ok with it, out of consideration. I don't want him to feel left out or neglected if he were trying to get ahold of me, and I was actually out surfing with another guy, regardless of the fact that I am 100% loyal and committed to him.
  10. We've been dating for about 5 years. We finally moved in together, and we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with our roommate (female). I am a big believer of male-female friendships as well. I had male roommates, but I always put my boyfriend first. We have had a few problems with his drinking. So he has been sober and healthy now, and we do therapy monthly because of his drinking and he has ADHD.
  11. Thank you for your reply. I was living in an old beach house with 6 roommates and it was a coed house. I feel like I set boundaries and rules for myself and roomies to make sure he never felt jealous or insignificant to them. And if I did surf alone with just one of my guy roommates, I made sure to let him know. How can I talk to him about this without being accusatory
  12. Am I just being too sensitive? We all just moved in together and mind you, it is our roommate's birthday today. My boyfriend said he was going to call me back after work, but he never did. Lately, its been bothering me that he never calls me after he gets off like he use to. He now just goes straight home and he and our female roommate get off at the same time. I get off later so I usually come home to them hanging out. He forgot to call me back, didn't read any of my texts. He went straight home, gave her the wine for her birthday that we were going to give her together for her birthd
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