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lucid1

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About lucid1

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  1. I remember reading about BPD when I was with my first GF who had it. I remember reading that the best thing to do is to cut all contact, since those with BPD tend to work their way back to you. I don't consider mental illness a dealbreaker necessarily. I have dealt with depression and anxiety in my life, and take medication for it. However I've never done the things to her that she's done to me, and her condition is such that has a direct detrimental effect on the relationship (e.g., ending the relationship due to perceived rejection in order to not feel abandoned). You're probab
  2. I think I choose to remain because how great things were together most of the time. Also I'm an idealist. I like to think that things can be worked out for an ideal solution. The thing is she doesn't think anything is wrong with her behavior, so nothing can be worked out. Last time we stopped seeing each other (and got back together) she mentioned that she went and talked to someone, presumably a therapist. She said that she was trying not to have too many expectations, which really is only one of many behavioural concerns. I can totally see how someone would have trust
  3. Thanks for the response. I think I choose to stay because I'm an idealist, I thought I could handle the situation, and how she was when she wasn't in these negative states. I'm realizing more and more that it isn't worth it though.
  4. My relationship with someone who I'm also certain had borderline personality disorder (pretty sure that there was some narcissistic personality disorder as well) recently ended and I wanted to share my experience, see if anyone else had a similar experience, and if anyone can help me with advice to deal with the breakup (maybe with some specific BPD breakup advice). I've been with someone for over 5 years that was clinically diagnosed with BPD, and most of the behavioral patterns are the same. I also had a psychologist and friends with similar experiences agree with me. Most of the time w
  5. Hey, thanks for the response! I've tried to do no contact for my own healing. My plan was going to touch base with her after 3 or 4 weeks to feel things out, and who knows, maybe we both put thought into each other and what happened that maybe we could reconcile. In the mean time I like to analyze the situation haha. It does seem that she wants my attention. But WHY is the question?
  6. Thanks for the response! This isn't a journal, just my memory lol. So she has all the power by her being the one always contacting me and me ignoring her for the most part? I feel that I have the power as its my lack of contact that keeps her coming back to me lol. I may have to resort to asking her whats up. But I doubt she would honestly tell me because of her particular style of communication. Part of the reason why I'm asking for the insight from third parties.
  7. Totally understand to get her out of my life I could just ignore her, or tell her to leave me alone again. I'd like to try to figure out what she wants or why shes doing this despite my very limited, neutral responses.
  8. Thanks for your response and openness. It wouldn't surprise me that she does something similar, that when something bothers her she tends to shut out the rest of the world. Its mature of you to recognize that the world can't accommodate your particular way of doing things. I wish that she would've tried to meet me half way, and it seems that she couldn't meet me 25% of the way. It seems like it was somehow try to deal with the way that she does things or else. I feel like I've very much tried to be understanding and empathetic. I did try to encourage her to talk about her concerns, a
  9. Totally appreciate the thought and effort that you put in here! I'd love to do that. But how am I suppose to listen to her when she doesn't want to talk about whats bothering her? Possibly? Unfortunately this would be her saying one thing and meaning another, which is part of the problem I have with how she communicates. I know that she has a hard time getting comfortable with someone. I also try to be a problem fixer, just because I don't like people feeling bad. At the same time though I understand that its important to empathize with someone about a problem rather than
  10. Thanks for the reply. This is very practical advice. I've heard a few times that I shouldn't bother with the relationship based on what they heard. I've also considered couples counselling as a way to get a third party to comment on her behavior, and as a way to legitimize my concerns. I've tried talking to her about it, and at first she didn't acknowledge an issue there, but it seems like shes slowly becoming receptive to the idea. Its just unfortunate because in the meantime there was this pent up resentment due to lack of communication that was making it hard to work on the lack of com
  11. Thanks for responding! I've done this, a few times. Either its "I should known whats bothering her', or she doesn't want to talk about. I've told her that communication is necessary for a healthy relationship. She said that it was never an issue with her other relationships.
  12. Nope! I could, but I'd rather keep contact to an absolute minimum.
  13. My Ex GF keeps contacting me after we broke up and I'm trying to figure out whats going on in her head. I've tried to implement no contact but she keeps contacting me in various ways. If anyone has an insight into what she's trying to do please let me know! (15 days ago) - Had a rough weekend were both of us essentially agreed that its not working out due to communication issues (but I suspect that there was more at play here like lingering resentment issues). - After we agreed upon that, we laid in bed and chatted about her and me and our relationship for 45ish minutes, and things s
  14. I've noticed this recurring pattern/relationship problem with her where something would bother her, and she won't bring it up voluntarily and she won't tell me if I ask her what the issue is. When this happens she's quiet and withdrawn and is noticeably in 'some kind of mood'. It seems that these things don't get resolved, resentment builds up, causes things to bother her more easily, which of course doesn't get talked about, which causes more resentment. It seems to be a vicious cycle of lack of communication and resentment that culminate in a major fight. After this happened a few time
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