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sullensloth

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  1. yes, the sore spot was the invalidation. i sat and contemplated much before replying. my anger is as someone who felt the need to ask me if i had really been abused. I feel ridiculous now, having to almost ‘fight’ for the right to say I was abused. How gross, I don’t want want. I don’t want to be a victim. I don’t want to be right in saying I was abused, but I was. Did I allow it? Sure yes I allowed it into my life but it was still not my fault. His mistreatment of me, whether or not I accepted the phone call, was not my fault. I just did not want to be invalidated in my time of need. and by the way- I acknowledged (I think) everything you just said in a post of mine. look back at the pertinent details lol
  2. Yeah! I have. Last year around this time I was 220 ish, and now I am 160. but previously I have been 240+. It took me two years and I did it very very slowly without much effort. I am 5’5 and a 20 yr old F
  3. Well, this sounds typical of someone around that age. It’s ok- that’s her life path and if that’s how she wants to live then let her. If your priories do not align with hers, rethink your stance in the relationship. If think is something you want to keep around- I suggest communicating with her. Why does this matter to you anyways? Ask yourself that. And then talk with her about it.
  4. My heart goes out to you. I have been in similar situations myself. As for that person, I think that you should definitely start gearing towards cutting all contact off. If you feel you are in danger then take the steps needed to protect yourself absolutely. A common misconception is that PTSD is war related. While that is true, PTSD can be caused from any sort of traumatic non-normative life event. And well, sounds like this lady is just that. As for the whole not wanting to block her, I understand that completely. I assume you don’t want to block her because you don’t want to trigger another uproar of her bad behavior. Understandable. But by keeping her around because of that, you are giving her power. Give yourself time to cut her off though, it always takes time. You need to free yourself though. If you see her in public, well it depends on the outcome you want. If you want to ‘keep the peace’ I suggest a simple ‘hello’ a nod, and walk the other way. acknowledge her to feed her ego just enough, but don’t engage enough to keep her around. I’ve dealt with people like this. It’s sad, we shouldn’t have to do this, but sometimes we do. Cut them off as comfortably as you can. Good luck
  5. there are no rules to this hon. do whatever feels right to you, literally. if you two want to see each other 7 times a week even and it is both beneficial to you both, do it! if you start to think that way.. as in ‘oh, I will only see him once a week’ you start falling into a weird and messy pattern of how things SHOULD be done.. when there is no way for it to be done. just enjoy yourself! i have the same problem with intense and short relationships. the trick is to not rely on them too much for your happiness, be an individual. let the relationship happen, let it flow, but remember to put yourself first always.
  6. tell her how you feel- but with a compromise. so that even though you might be saying something that could potentially cause conflict, you are already met with some solution. so think to yourself; how could you compromise with her? if you like to text, and her call, then perhaps call her every morning/‘night and text her throughout the day? just talk to her about it, that’s the key thing here. communication. another thing I might suggest is Snapchat! She might feel the need to call you because she wants to feel close and intimate with you (a part of her love language basically), so y’all could talk that way, but it’s more convenient and on your terms. Best of luck :) 🖤
  7. it really depends on what outcome you want. this person is your coworker, so it might be best to stay civil with them. this does not mean that you shouldn’t stand up for yourself though. it might be a good idea to address that the comment rubbed you the wrong way (or just tell them how it made you feel) in hopes that further insult may be avoided. while it is not your job to do anything.. sometimes you need to politely check people for their actions. bringing light to an issue does not always have to end in conflict. I would not ignore it, because that does just as bad as lashing out would (in my opinion). in short, yeah. check the mf’o aside from that- I really hope you’re able to look past their ignorance. People are ugly sometimes.
  8. I do not want to end this on the vibe that I am defending my ex boyfriend, or even my behavior. Like yeah I get it, it’s all drama and toxic and it’s better off gone. But all I needed was emotional support to keep someone away, not your self righteous bull. So thank you for your two cents, now go and be correct somewhere else ‘wAs He rEaLLy AbUsInG yOu’ , give me a break.
  9. & since you are SO focused on what I did and what I had mentioned in previous posts; did I cheat on him for cussing me out? (Since this is how you’re making it sound lol) does me talking to another guy after he broke up with me cheating ? NO lol, but certainly at that time it felt like I had betrayed him. if you’re going to gather details from previous posts, actually read them. read those pertinent details
  10. My post was asking for opinions and what to do. You gave me yours, so thank you. What i refuse to stand for under any circumstance is you asking me or anyone else ‘wAs He rEaLLy AbUsInG yOu?’, because that’s just rude and insensitive. And yes- I did not mention those -pertinent- details, as the post was more of a ‘please morally support me’ post. But thanks for having to be so right ! I am young, and I will get help, thanks for the obvious message through the passive aggressive undertones. We can both spew venom, sorry mine was direct. Now leave me & this post alone. I understand I am not perfect or in the right in this situation but it doesn’t give you the right to question the validity of what I had said. (& that is not me saying I am right or all knowing or that you aren’t capable of intelligence- just means I won’t tolerate you undermining what I went through !) Do not try and piece together the whole story from my mere few posts. I get it, I posted a few ugly truths about my past relationship that you might have used to further form an opinion but guess what? Wasn’t the full story. So tell me to get over it and go about your day. This site is called ‘enotalone’, not ‘e-letsplayselfrighteous’. thanks for the sentiment
  11. that is correct, I kept allowing him back in. not this time though
  12. If you had read my past posts and had the intellect to ‘put 2&2 together’ you would understand that I had not, and will not ever, ‘throw around [such terms] in jest’. Fair of you to have your opinion on the situation, as I asked for it after all. But do no insinuate that I would use any of this as some sort of cry of attention. ‘Is he actually abusing you?’ Newsflash; toxic and abusive people do not have to act that way all of the time for them to still be that way. I feel ridiculous.. because in a sense it almost feels as if I am defending him? No- I am not. Yes he was abusive and toxic towards me, and yes I still am clinging onto the remnants of ‘what could have been’. So I will certainly move on and get help but don’t you ever dare ask anyone that question again. Accountability is everything. I get that. But what you just tried to do- I also sort of understand but you just missed it by thaaaat much. Thanks for the sentiment though.
  13. this made me giggle, cause it’s so simple and you’re right. i don’t want to hear from miguel
  14. Last night- my ex boyfriend messaged me. We’ve been in an off and on again relationship for a while.. so I know I should not just jump back in and that I should take what he says with a grain of salt.. but what do you make of this ? [ATTACH]11588[/ATTACH] what should I do? All of me wants to message back.. but none of me wants to get hurt again..
  15. I’ve been going through a lot recently and it has led me to see that I’m sort of a toxic person. I really don’t mean to be but I’ve fallen into a sedentary lifestyle + a victim mentality and I make terrible choices. As embarrassing as it is- I’ve forgotten how to be a person pretty much. I just got out of a toxic relationship and it isolated me and I stopped taking care of myself. I’m out of that now and I really want to get better- but how? I know I need to look into seeing a therapist but would love a different point of view on things maybe. Or perhaps things I could do to better myself? I’m trying to change my entire mindset on things
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